Well, I didn’t meet my goal of blogging at least 2 times each week as of last week, having only posted once last week and not posting since…But sometimes life just gets too hectic for all of the fun things that we enjoy doing. And sometimes, we just need to step back and let things happen as they should. For the saying IS true…everything WILL fall in to place eventually.
I had a pretty amazing opportunity come my way. I will leave that part of this post fairly vague, but to say it’s an opportunity of life time is pretty accurate. But…I can’t take the opportunity, as I am needed here by my husband and kids. Part of being a military wife, is giving up your own wants and needs so your husband can serve the country. And while I know my husband and kids (and my country) are so much more important than any sort of career chance I may be afforded, I still am left feeling very sad, and ever so slightly resentful. Gah.
I hate that feeling. I hate the dreaded sadness that can sit in the pit of your stomach and just burn, reminding you of it’s presence constantly throughout the day like bad heartburn after you’ve eaten spicy Mexican food, far too late at night. I hate crying every time I am left alone with my thoughts. I hate the reminder of the depressed person I once was and the memory of crying every single day. Double GAH!
So last night I reminded my husband that I only had a few days left before this opportunity would be a thing of the past. I had to decide. They didn’t REALLLLLLY need me, did they? They all spend their evenings on computer games or in their rooms. They wouldn’t even notice I was gone, would they? #whoamikidding
He shook his head. “You can’t go,” he said sadly. “We need you,” he said quietly. And he’s right…and I knew that all along. But hearing him say it, made me feel needed and loved. More so than I have felt, in quite a long time.
So while I am sad, I know my family comes first, and that someday there will be ANOTHER opportunity, perhaps at the RIGHT time…until that time, I’ll hug my family, count my blessing, and keep…movin’…FORWARD. I’ve started running/walking again this week after a 2 week break, which has helped me digest this whole situation immensely.
Have you ever had to pass on a good opportunity? Did it take you a while to digest it all?