I have been toying with this post for a while, but between my computer dying and lack of time I put it off…
I had read a post on one of my favorite blogs a while back…www.ilaxstudio.com about whether or not you go back and delete old posts. My initial response was, “No, my blog is a catalog of my journey.” But tonight I decided to go back and read some old posts I had written since I started this blog back in 2011. Wow…it was an eye opener to read some of my early writings shortly after I retired from the Air Force. My initial blog was named “From blue, to jeans” but I’ve updated it to my current site in the last couple years.
Some of my posts were…well, sheer torture to read. Was I really so down in the dumps all the time? Was transitioning from the military, and being a single military wife for many months so hard? Apparently, yes, it was from what I read… I whined…a lot. Gah. So I deleted several posts tonight, because that just isn’t the course I need to take anymore. I’m sure I’ll go back and delete at least a few more. For moving forward to me, is a journey filled with change, positivity and not dwelling on the past. Sure, tough times are had by all…but I don’t need or want that sort of thing to be the premise of my writing. I’ve worked hard this last year or so to literally delete negativity from my life, because I have the tendency to get sucked in to that frame of mind and in all honestly-I want to break that pattern.
So tonight, after what was the busiest day I’ve encountered at my not so new job, I came home, and ran…just an easy 3.3 miles, but I ran none the less. I’ve lacked motivation these last few weeks coming off the Fox Valley half marathon with my hubby, but I know I’ve got a race coming up and I just can’t half ass it…it’s not in me to just wing it…My 11th half marathon in two weeks, the Naperville half marathon.
In doing so, I found my inspiration to finally write this post. I thought back to 2007 when with only 8 weeks to train I signed up for my first half marathon, the San Antonio Rock-n-Roll half marathon. Seven years ago, at this time I had hit a tough spot in life and decided to give my heart to distance running and I lost myself on the road. I ran the entire race, which was my goal…and I finished in 2:19 (I believe? how can I forget?)…I’ve ran 10 half marathons, but this one will always hold a special place in my heart.
I found myself there, on those 13.1 miles of streets, roads, and city sites…and although there have been bumps in the road, I now smile daily, and live to tell my story another day.