Movin' it with Michelle

I promise I’ve not fallen off the face of the planet. I’m still here…sorta. I haven’t worked out once this week, and cooking has been minimal at best. You see, Monday it hit me like a 10,000 ton of bricks, that my time with my husband is nearing the end. When someone asked me yesterday when he was leaving, and my answer was, “In just under 2 weeks,” I found myself choking back a sob or 10. Ok, more like 10,000,000 but who’s counting?

My days of thinking I could do it all have long since been laid to rest, and now all I can do is force myself to go to bed at night, and then make myself get up for work in the morning. I am tired. All. The. Time. Being this emotionally drained feels more like I’ve ran 10 marathons vs. dealing with deployment fears. Give me the marathon any day!

I am not ready to say goodbye to this man, MY PERSON, the one person who gets me and has stuck by my side for what feels like an eternity. While friends have come and gone over the decades, my husband, MY BEST FRIEND, has continued to love me even when hating me would be so much easier. Trust me, I’m not the easiest person to love. I am moody, emotional, self-loathing, and harder on myself than I need to be on a daily basis.

Yet he loves me. And he gets my jokes. We say the same things at the same time, we know, always, what the other is thinking and feeling. And the thought of dropping him off to get on plane to go terrible-ville in just over a week makes my chest physically hurt. #ijustcant

So I don’t know what I will write, or when I will run or how I will spark my creative juices in the next week or so. I only know that I need to somehow keep it together, for my daughters because they need me. And I need them too.

I hope to be back at blogging once life falls into some sort of routine, but this next week I need to hang on to all the moments. I’ll be taking lots of pictures this weekend (my folks are coming to town) and over the next week in hopes to hang on to every single moment.

Until then, I’ll keep movin’ forward, even if its at a snails pace.

❤

Michelle

Uncategorized, weekly wrap up

Weekly Wrap up 2-21-2016

February 21, 2016February 21, 2016 Movin' it with Michelle

It’s time again for the Weekly wrap up with Tricia and Holly. If you want to read, support, and be inspired by others I definitely recommend checking out these awesome blogs.

Last week was a bit shaky for me, but I did manage to get in a few good workouts and my longest run of the year-10 miles of much needed solitude and soul searching.

Friday was rest day, and after the week I had at work I will admit I was ready for it. My stomach was/has been a mess these days and my almost dormant IBS-D has been rearing it’s ugly head. I woke up Saturday knowing I’d need a bathroom close, so I waited it out and started my long run at around 10 a.m. Thankfully my stomach cooperated, and I was able to get a really solid ten miler in. I have to give kudos to my friend Andrea for cheering me on. She’s just about the coolest person I know, and she ALWAYS knows when I need her, even without me asking. Those friends are the best.

Saturday afternoon I took my daughter’s to a late lunch/brunch at a new place in Geneva called Hache’ Modern Brasserie which highlighted amazing French food. We had the cheese and charcuterie plate, and were greeted by the Chef himself to present our appetizer. J had fish and frites, S had steak and frites, and I had the Bouillabase. All of our dishes were packed full of flavor and you could truly taste the passion in the food from Chef Andrew. We were also even given a small plate of pork belly to share from the Chef as a complimentary dish while we waited. The décor was modern French with pops of color and fresh flowers throughout. We were even lucky enough to meet on of the owners, Peter, who delivered the flowers himself to our table. Our service was impeccable, and we will definitely return in the future!

We clean up quite nicely, hehe

Lunch Menu

My girls

Cheese and Charcuterie plate, presented by the Chef himself

Complimentary pork belly? Yes, please!

Someone is happy about her steak and frites. Cooked to PERFECTION I might add.

Fish and frites

Bouillabaisse with a spicy saffron broth

desert!! Oreo Chiffon? Yes please!

After lunch we were out shopping and my hubby tagged me in this post on FB.

He wrote-“Wherever I am, there is always something that makes me think of her. Snapped this picture flying over Venice, Italy”

I had to duck into one of the aisles to gather my composure. #allthefeels

Today was a much needed day of rest filled with movie watching, craft making, and cooking. Marcona almond crusted cod with quinoa/roasted veggies, and cilantro peas!

Our new chore incentive chart, filled with some fun and sweet motivational quotes.

Full view

fish

There really is no “recipe” for this fish, just ground marcona almonds, season with salt and pepper and bake in the oven at 350 degrees for 25 minutes! Yummy, and easy!!

How was your week/weekend? Highs/lows? What’s the longest distance you’ve run this year?

Have a great week!!!

❤ Michelle

Deployment thoughts, Uncategorized

Thinking Thursday

February 18, 2016 Movin' it with Michelle

Since the news of my husband’s deployment I’ve gotten so many wonderful emails, cards, and even gifts sent to me by loved ones.

book — A daily devotional from one of my FB friends ❤

Out pouring of prayers, texts and phone calls have been welcomed with open arms on most days. Because in all honesty even though I do get a daily text of “Love you” usually from my hubby, I have only gotten to talk to him a couple times as in “real conversation” talk in the last few weeks, and that makes my evenings very hard. To say I am just hanging on by a thread or two pretty much sums it up.

Work stress is at an all time high, and of course parenting 2 girls one of which is a teen means my plate is over flowing.

Some days, I am ok. Others…well, not so much.

Last night we had some window repair guys come to the door. I begrudgingly opened the door to have them come in and give their shpeal about how my windows were old (duh, the house is 30 years old) and needed repair. Would my husband be home later so we could discuss? No, D-bag…My husband is deployed and I am the head of the household from here on out for the next year. OOOOOOH. Thank him for his service they said as they looked at my Grandpa’s shadow box on the mantle.

mantle — My Dad built this shadow box for my Grandpa, and it was given to me after my Grandfather’s passing.

How many tours has your husband done? Two I said. I smiled and said thank you, and told them that I too, was retired military. How many tours? I didn’t go overseas…No comment from either gentleman.

myflag — Just a few of my accolades from over the years

They went on about the windows, and I could feel the fire burning in the back of my throat. So often my service is disregarded, even by myself-but I’m allowed ha- because I didn’t “fight any wars.” Not that they saw at least. And that will always make me sad, because I joined the military in my junior year of high school on the delayed enlistment program TO GO TO WAR and fight for my country. Yet here I am, almost 25 years later still working in a hospital job that was chosen for me by the military.

Miffed, I shook the man’s hands and bid them good night.

Several minutes later, my youngest tugged on my shirt as I cooked dinner to show me the card she and her daycare buddies made for my husband. As I pulled it out of the envelope and opened up the card I choked back sobs in seeing dozens and dozens of children’s signatures wishing my husband the best on his deployment.

And at that moment I realized that serving my country also meant sucking up all my stupid pride and serving proudly as an Army wife.

I may have not had the career I fought hard to attain, but God puts us where we are meant to be. I have to have faith that this is where I am needed, at least for now. Every ounce of support I’ve received is just another thread in the rope I’ll be hanging on to this next year. Thank you!!

❤

Michelle

Deployment thoughts, weekly wrap up

Saving Valentines Day

February 14, 2016 Movin' it with Michelle

This week, I wasn’t going to post. But I decided that despite heartache, I needed to celebrate the fun weekend we had. So here we go, in mostly pictures, my weekend wrap up.

I got my hair did….cheaply, but done none the less…eek I look tired!

Lunch with my girls! Why I am so squinty?

I wish I could say this was an epic hallmark holiday, but I can’t lie. It was tough without my husband. We’ve spent the last several years apart, but tonight’s reminder that we are together always was just what I needed. My neighbors are currently plowing my driveway after our snowfall, so blessings all around. Thanks to Holly and Tricia for the weekly wrap up!

weekly-Wrapup

I hope you all enjoyed your weekend!

❤ Cheers!

Michelle

Recipes

Chicken Chili recipe

February 11, 2016 Movin' it with Michelle

Hey gang, as promised here is my chicken chili recipe that I made for Super Bowl Sunday!

Chicken Chili recipe

8 skinless boneless chicken thighs seasoned with salt, pepper, onion powder and chili powder

1 large white onion-chopped

6 cloves of garlic-minced

¼ cup of freshly squeezed lime juice

Place the chicken, onion and garlic in a crock pot, add 2-3 cups of chicken stock with the lime juice and cook on high for 4 hours

In the last hour of cooking add the following ingredients:

1 32 oz can of diced tomatoes (low/no sodium preferred) with juice

1 can of diced green chiles

1 package of low sodium (I use Ortega brand that I purchased at Aldi) taco seasoning

1 can of black beans

1 can of red beans

1 cup of chicken stock (may omit if you prefer a thicker consistency)

Salt, pepper, and cayenne pepper to taste.

Chicken chili! I'll type the recipe up this week! — Chicken chili! I’ll type the recipe up this week!

Serve over rice, noodles, or eat on its own! Enjoy!!!

Do you like soups, chili, stews more in the winter time? What’s your favorite soup?

Cheers!

Michelle

Deployment thoughts, weekly wrap up

Weekly Wrap up 2/8/16

February 8, 2016 Movin' it with Michelle

Gosh I have been bad about writing. But to be honest, I haven’t had a whole lot to write about. I am technically in training for the 4th full marathon, but have struggled the last couple weeks to gain motivation to really push myself. Emotionally I have just been all over the place, and range from mad, to sad, to just drained.

And then, last night, it hit me. I have been doing this “single parent” gig, well, for A LONG time. I was a single Mom to my oldest for the first 4 years of her life, and my husband’s travels between work and the Army have been significant over the years to say the least. Why can’t I remember that each and every time he goes, that this isn’t the first time he’ll leave, and it surely won’t be the last time either. Why? Because, to be honest…it hurts. It hurts because my husband has chosen this life, and his first love will always be the Army. And just admitting that, just WRITING that down to solidify that fact, well, hurts even a little more. Does he love me any less because of his life’s passion to serve in the Army? Not necessarily. But the Army will forever more come first. I can either accept that, or not. And for the past almost 13 years, I’ve accepted it, and will continue to do so. Our country needs more people like him in all honesty. And I know he does it not only because he loves it, but because he wants to provide a good life for us. I’ll stop whining. NOW. ❤

But sometimes it hard. It’s especially hard watching him already be gone, even though we’ve got a handful of days left. He got home late last night excited to be bearing gifts for the girls and I. He bought me a shirt from Free People…but forgot he bought me the very same shirt for Christmas. He got my oldest daughter a hoody, but got her a size medium which she’d drown in as she barely weighs 100 lbs. And he got our youngest American girl doll clothes for her doll Lucy, which was spot on. Hey, it’s 1 outta 3 right? Poor guy. He’s just not here anymore. He means well, for sure, and for that I am thankful. But to say I miss him already is an understatement.

So last week my training suffered, partly due to emotional setbacks, partly due to physical aspects (my right calf had REALLY been hurting since Tuesday’s run) and lastly due to finding the time between being a single Mom and managing to maintain the house and my career.

Monday-rest

Tuesday-3.1 miles on the tready and 4 minute plank

Wednesday-20 minutes of Pilates and core

Thursday-rest

Friday-unscheduled rest and date night with my daughters

Saturday-house work, shopping, lunch date and movies with my daughters as well as an unscheduled girls night with my dear friend and neighbor.

Sunday-long run forced inside due to child care conflicts and a sore calf left my 5 miler turning into 4.2 It was all I had in the tank to be honest. Hubby made it home for the Superbowl which was nice, and I even made chicken chili (which I will highlight in my recipe section, soon)

So tomorrow he heads off to the second stint of his deployment which is only a couple weeks, but a couple weeks less time spent with us. One month from tomorrow, he will head out for his final journey of training before he goes, but it will be our final goodbye for the year.

I’m wrapping up with Holly and Tricia again, and hope you run over and support all the amazing bloggers in this link up.

Are you training for any races? Have you struggled to find motivation in the cold winter months?

Cheers!

❤ Michelle

Deployment thoughts

Groundhogs day 2016 and happy moments

February 2, 2016 Movin' it with Michelle

Happy Groundhogs day!!!! I know, I know, seems something silly to celebrate, right? But it hit me today that I need to celebrate every little happy moment, especially now.

Why?

Well, after having to cancel my lunch date with my husband yesterday as we were both off from work for ONCE in a very long time due to our youngest feeling ill and having to be pick up from school, we decided to make the most of it and rent a movie.

Martian was really great and it was nice to just hunker down and snuggle. We made the most of the day, and got in some much needed family time. #celebrate That’s happy moment number 1 for this week.

This morning I headed out the door with my teen and a huge blow out ensued as we sat in the parking lot of her high school. “Why are you always yelling at me?” she cried out, to which I could only answer “Why are you always so disrespectful and mean just to ME?” A battle of the wits, and a never ending fight. Being a Mom is hard work. #sorrymom I drove to work in tears, wondering for the gazillionth time HOW I would do this for an entire year or more by myself.

I texted him when I arrived to work, choking back sobs and voicing my concerns. Sigh. There’s that big fat elephant sitting on my chest again.

My teen and I have talked, made amends, and agreed to have better lines of communication. A little less snark equals a lot less yelling, we both agreed. We’ve come to this agreement a hundred times before, and I am hoping this will be the one. Ok, I hope that each time, but hey, what’s wrong with a little hope. And there’s happy moment number 2.

What’s something happy that you’ve celebrated this week? Do you have parenting trials with your teens?

Happy Tuesday, y’all!

❤ Michelle

Deployment thoughts, weekly wrap up

Weekly wrap up 1/31/2016

January 31, 2016January 31, 2016 Movin' it with Michelle

I thought about not linking up this week for my weekly wrap up with Holly and Tricia, but it’s been such a good way to keep me accountable, AND keep me writing vs. bottling up all my emotions, so here goes…

My week started out pretty darn good.

Monday I did a brisk walk on my dreadmill while dinner was cooking, just 3 miles, but felt good to stretch the legs. I also did the Tracy Anderson strength training video (30 minutes)

I met up with my friends for Tuesday night run club, and knocked out 6.5 miles at an average pace of 9:24. Not bad for this average runner.

My new jacket is SUPER reflective, I love it!

Wednesday-Pilates and core for 20 minutes

Thursday-rest and this is the day things took a downward dive.

Friday I was supposed to do my long run for the second week of marathon raining, see my Runfessions post, but ditched it since I wasn’t feeling well. Managed a few miles on the ‘mill. Nothing even pic-worthy LOL

All in all, my week was mediocre at best. The news that my husband leaves next week just has left me in an emotional tailspin, and the addition of the ever dreaded weekend duty this weekend has left my positive attitude falling a bit short. I have, though, delved into the Army wife network group that we’ve built on FB, and have been distracting myself by looking for yellow ribbons to pass out at the farewell ceremony. Sometimes when you are feeling low, it’s nice to help someone else…it not only makes THEM feel good, but you get good feels in return.

Saturday/Sunday I worked, and when I have weekend duty, sadly I have very little left in the tank for workouts. This afternoon when I arrived home, my youngest greeted me with warm hugs and a bright smile so I passed on the nap I was so looking forward to, lol. I did have a slight moment of panic, when our heater wasn’t turning on and the temps were dropping quickly in the house. I went down to the basement, realizing that I wasn’t sure which big box looking thing was the heater. How was I going to fix this? And then it hit me…I better figure it out, and quick. Thankfully the hubby was home, and I felt terrible waking him from HIS nap, as he just came off 21 days of duty and leaves again Wednesday. But he grinned tiredly, and fixed it. YAY. We have heat. CRAP. I couldn’t do it myself.

mom14 — Yup, this sums up how I felt, LOL…all I can do is laugh, right?

How was your week? How do you handle set backs in regards to your training? For my women readers, are you handy around the house?

Cheers!

❤ Michelle

runfessions

January Runfessions

January 30, 2016 Movin' it with Michelle

Today I am linking up with Marcia from Marcia’s Healthy slice for our monthly dose of Runfessions. Grab your drink of choice, snuggle up with your favorite blanket, and join us!

I runfess that despite being signed up for a full marathon in May, I have already sorta skipped my long run for week 2 of training. I was supposed to run yesterday since it was my only day off from work (on weekend duty at the hospital both Saturday and Sunday equates to mega life suck), but after dropping my daughter off at the bus, while still in my jammies #dontjudge my bed was calling me as my head pounded, and I took a 2 hour nap. I was going to go run with a friend, but she wasn’t feeling well either so we skipped it all together. Thankfully my plan called for a 7 miler, and I did 6.5 on Tuesday so it’s not a complete fail. Next week is a cut back week to 5 miles, so I should be ok…

I runfess that if I could, I would only wear running clothes and jammies during the winter months. I read on a fellow bloggers post, that she too loves her slippers and jammies and it made me realize that work clothes come off promptly after arriving home to be replaced with jammies and slippers, unless of course I am exercising/running. But even then, after my workout or run, it’s back to jammies after a nice hot shower. Is this normal?

untitled — See exhibit 1. I’ve been home for 12 minutes.

I runfess that with the recent news of my husband basically being gone three out of four weeks of February, has pushed me back a few steps. My “I am strong and can do all the hard things” has quickly changed back to “Please let me not cry all day every day, especially at work” and I hate it. Every day I see him more gone, and the distant smile or half laugh while we watch our shows for an hour before bed, because I know he’s TRYING to be present, makes my heart physically ache.

I runfess that today, while at work I almost did something bad. See, as the “relief supervisor” you have to carry this mobile phone with you, everywhere you go. You are at the beck and call of every nurse, doctor, technician and client, and the phone can often times ring NON-STOP while on duty. I have lovingly referred “RS” duty” as “really shitty” and “really stupid” because that’s how the doctors and nurses often treat the lab, and the RS supervisor gets the brunt of the mis-treatment. More times than not, I go home in tears and need a nap to shut out the shift. When I arrived on duty at 0615 hrs. this morning, the phone….was BROKEN. Halleluiah!!! Gah…I could leave my desk number so people could ahold of me that way. That would suffice, right? Nah…I called IT and had the phone fixed. Darn you integrity! LOL! **note-karma had my back today, I didn’t get yelled at ONCE today which is a miracle in of itself when it comes to weekend duty!

And that my friends, is a wrap. I hope you join us for Runfessions! What do you have to runfess?! Remember it can be anything!!

Cheers

❤ Michelle

Deployment thoughts, Uncategorized

The many stages of deployment

January 28, 2016 Movin' it with Michelle

So just when I thought I had it all figured out, well, yeah…I was reminded that I’m only human. My husband is set to leave in the beginning of March. For an entire year. He’s been on orders (training) full time for the last 3 weeks straight. As in up at 4 A.M. for work and home just before 8 P.M. most nights. But what was saving me is that we’d at least have February to spend together as a family before he leaves. He’d go back to a regular-ish work week, and we’d see him at least a couple of the weekends in February. We’d have time to recharge before he leaves in March.

Or not.

Today I got the news that he had a lot of travel in February to prepare for the deployment. As in the first 3 weeks of February, he would be traveling. REALLY? After several tears, and even more F-bombs, it got me thinking about the many stages of deployment. I thought I’d share a few that have rang true with me through the many years of being an Army wife.

Sadness…as in, my chest feels as if a 10 ton elephant is sitting on my heart and squeezing the life out of my soul. Ok, that’s a bit extensive, but total true story.

Fear…fear of the unknown for both me and my girls, and for my husband and his soldiers. Every. Single. Day. I will fear for his life, and nothing can change that fear.

Anger…even resentment for the passion he has for the Army, and the fact that his passion takes him away from his family, and puts himself in harms way. More so, anger towards the Army for taking him away from me so often. And I’ll admit that’s one of the toughest stages to deal with on a daily basis.

And lastly…but most importantly…PRIDE…because all the sadness, fear, anger, and every other emotion in the world can’t be topped with pride. For this man, MY husband, is protecting our country (and our country is in a pretty sad state these days), and for that, I need to be grateful , proud, and thankful. Because there aren’t many people out there anymore, that are willing to sacrifice their lives.

So while today I reminded him how much I think this FU@#%&*! sucks, and that I have NO idea how I would get through this without him, I am still so darn proud of him. I may or may not have a good cry in the shower, and I lost it at work today which I try to NEVER do, but man, I will keep telling myself that I WILL get through this. I’ve got no other choice, right?

Thanks for all of the continued thoughts and prayers. This year will be life changing for sure.

How do you deal with difficult situations, or family separations?

Thanks!

Michelle

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