Since the news of my husband’s deployment I’ve gotten so many wonderful emails, cards, and even gifts sent to me by loved ones.
Out pouring of prayers, texts and phone calls have been welcomed with open arms on most days. Because in all honesty even though I do get a daily text of “Love you” usually from my hubby, I have only gotten to talk to him a couple times as in “real conversation” talk in the last few weeks, and that makes my evenings very hard. To say I am just hanging on by a thread or two pretty much sums it up.
Work stress is at an all time high, and of course parenting 2 girls one of which is a teen means my plate is over flowing.
Some days, I am ok. Others…well, not so much.
Last night we had some window repair guys come to the door. I begrudgingly opened the door to have them come in and give their shpeal about how my windows were old (duh, the house is 30 years old) and needed repair. Would my husband be home later so we could discuss? No, D-bag…My husband is deployed and I am the head of the household from here on out for the next year. OOOOOOH. Thank him for his service they said as they looked at my Grandpa’s shadow box on the mantle.
How many tours has your husband done? Two I said. I smiled and said thank you, and told them that I too, was retired military. How many tours? I didn’t go overseas…No comment from either gentleman.
They went on about the windows, and I could feel the fire burning in the back of my throat. So often my service is disregarded, even by myself-but I’m allowed ha- because I didn’t “fight any wars.” Not that they saw at least. And that will always make me sad, because I joined the military in my junior year of high school on the delayed enlistment program TO GO TO WAR and fight for my country. Yet here I am, almost 25 years later still working in a hospital job that was chosen for me by the military.
Miffed, I shook the man’s hands and bid them good night.
Several minutes later, my youngest tugged on my shirt as I cooked dinner to show me the card she and her daycare buddies made for my husband. As I pulled it out of the envelope and opened up the card I choked back sobs in seeing dozens and dozens of children’s signatures wishing my husband the best on his deployment.
And at that moment I realized that serving my country also meant sucking up all my stupid pride and serving proudly as an Army wife.
I may have not had the career I fought hard to attain, but God puts us where we are meant to be. I have to have faith that this is where I am needed, at least for now. Every ounce of support I’ve received is just another thread in the rope I’ll be hanging on to this next year. Thank you!!