Deployment thoughts · weekly wrap up

Weekly Wrap up 2/8/16

Gosh I have been bad about writing. But to be honest, I haven’t had a whole lot to write about. I am technically in training for the 4th full marathon, but have struggled the last couple weeks to gain motivation to really push myself. Emotionally I have just been all over the place, and range from mad, to sad, to just drained.

And then, last night, it hit me. I have been doing this “single parent” gig, well, for A LONG time. I was a single Mom to my oldest for the first 4 years of her life, and my husband’s travels between work and the Army have been significant over the years to say the least. Why can’t I remember that each and every time he goes, that this isn’t the first time he’ll leave, and it surely won’t be the last time either. Why? Because, to be honest…it hurts. It hurts because my husband has chosen this life, and his first love will always be the Army. And just admitting that, just WRITING that down to solidify that fact, well, hurts even a little more. Does he love me any less because of his life’s passion to serve in the Army? Not necessarily. But the Army will forever more come first. I can either accept that, or not. And for the past almost 13 years, I’ve accepted it, and will continue to do so. Our country needs more people like him in all honesty. And I know he does it not only because he loves it, but because he wants to provide a good life for us. I’ll stop whining. NOW. ❤

photo cred: nafie-nafie.tumblr
photo cred: nafie-nafie.tumblr

But sometimes it hard. It’s especially hard watching him already be gone, even though we’ve got a handful of days left. He got home late last night excited to be bearing gifts for the girls and I. He bought me a shirt from Free People…but forgot he bought me the very same shirt for Christmas. He got my oldest daughter a hoody, but got her a size medium which she’d drown in as she barely weighs 100 lbs. And he got our youngest American girl doll clothes for her doll Lucy, which was spot on. Hey, it’s 1 outta 3 right? Poor guy. He’s just not here anymore. He means well, for sure, and for that I am thankful. But to say I miss him already is an understatement.

So last week my training suffered, partly due to emotional setbacks, partly due to physical aspects (my right calf had REALLY been hurting since Tuesday’s run) and lastly due to finding the time between being a single Mom and managing to maintain the house and my career.

 

Monday-rest

Tuesday-3.1 miles on the tready and 4 minute plank

tues

Wednesday-20 minutes of Pilates and core

Thursday-rest

Friday-unscheduled rest and date night with my daughters

fri

Saturday-house work, shopping, lunch date and movies with my daughters as well as an unscheduled girls night with my dear friend and neighbor.

saturday
Sometimes we need our friends to really MAKE us not crawl into our own hole. I’m blessed to have many that have really helped me through this tough time.

Sunday-long run forced inside due to child care conflicts and a sore calf left my 5 miler turning into 4.2 It was all I had in the tank to be honest. Hubby made it home for the Superbowl which was nice, and I even made chicken chili (which I will highlight in my recipe section, soon)

This run was just plain ugly.
This run was just plain ugly.
Chicken chili! I'll type the recipe up this week!
Chicken chili! I’ll type the recipe up this week!

 

So tomorrow he heads off to the second stint of his deployment which is only a couple weeks, but a couple weeks less time spent with us. One month from tomorrow, he will head out for his final journey of training before he goes, but it will be our final goodbye for the year.

I’m wrapping up with Holly and Tricia again, and hope you run over and support all the amazing bloggers in this link up.

weekly-Wrapup

Are you training for any races? Have you struggled to find motivation in the cold winter months?

Cheers!

❤ Michelle

Advertisements

47 thoughts on “Weekly Wrap up 2/8/16

  1. 😦 I complain about how much my husband is gone but it’s def not the same as you. It’s so hard single parenting (but not really being a single parent). I’m glad you have friends to help keep you company! You’re doing an amazing job and your daughter’s are seeing how awesome you’re handling things being a mom and finding time to work out and take care of you! You got this, Michelle! xoxo

  2. Sending prayers your way. It is difficult being alone and dealing with all the daily struggles of parenting and living; glad you have friends surrounding you. Hope your calf stops acting up soon.

  3. It almost feels like when people live with people with dementia. They aren’t quite there! It is not the same I know, but I am trying to make sense of it.

    I admire your ability to be this honest and vulnerable. When put to the test you will come out with flying colors.I am confident of that. The fact that you have been thinking about it, I feel like you will find a solid way.

    Good luck! Would love for that chili recipe!

  4. I know you get tired of hearing it, but hang in there! Just putting up the effort to write the post about this means you are getting things done. And hey, a 4+ minute plank after a 3 mile run?? Get outta here! Great job! 🙂

  5. You did great given everything you have on your plate! I’m glad y find time for some quality friend time in there. It’s amazing how much that can help. I hope your calf is feeling better.

  6. I can’t even imagine how little time you have to yourself as a virtual single parent. So I’m sure that plays a part, too, because you’re not getting the me-time you really need, too.

    My husband doesn’t love his job. He didn’t like it when he had to travel a lot.

    I’m not sure your husband is really gone; at least, not from the gift giving fiasco — men tend to be a bit self centered in general, and therefore not so great at gift giving. For instance, my husband really wanted to choose where we go for my birthday dinner. HELLO? It’s MY birthday. And it’s really ironic cause he never seems to care where he goes for his own.

    I hope that venting on the blog is helping you cope, even if it’s just a little. I know writing things out is always helpful to me.

      1. I imagine he has to kind of detach himself to get through it. Which has to be incredibly hard for you & the kids.

        My husband can be pretty controlling in some ways. He’s a good guy, or I wouldn’t be married to him after 30 years! but everyone has their faults.

  7. That chicken chili sounds delicious! Friends always make the hard times a bit easier. It’s harder for me to get motivated for my runs while it’s cold too. Luckily I don’t have to go outside since I have a treadmill. But getting on it is half the battle.

  8. BIG HUGS, Michelle! I love all the honesty in this post. It’s so hard to put these thoughts out there so I really admire your courage and your tenacity. You are an incredibly strong woman and you WILL get through this latest deployment! I hope your calf feels better soon, too!!!

  9. I’m with you through this, thick and thin. You have a lot of awesome friends, and I know that doesn’t keep you warm under your covers at night as you’re laying in bed alone. But I’m sure I speak for so many of us, I hope you can feel our prayers for you, Brian, your family, the soldiers, all of it. Love you bunches! Thanks for your honesty and daily inspiration!

  10. I first want to not only thank your husband for his service. But thank you for your sacrifice so he can serve and protect our great country.
    Having come from a military family, I know how much of a sacrifice it is on the entire family, and I know how hard it can be at times. I hope you have a great local support system to help you while he is gone!

  11. What your husband does is a wonderful thing Michelle! I know you will miss him dearly — and that is OK. You should! Don’t ever apologize or feel bad about that or for not being as strong as you think you should be. (You are incredibly strong by the way!) I’m always so impressed by your planking time! I think training for a marathon will be a nice distraction and good therapy as well. Thanks for linking with us!

  12. OMY Michelle, I had to scroll for hours just to get down to the bottom to comment, ok, maybe that’s a bit of a stretch… 😉 You see my friend, at all the support and love you have? I can not imagine how hard it is for you and taking over the parenting job and having your husband gone, but you know I don’t doubt for one second you can’t handle this. You are a very strong and you will get through this! Keep you chin up and just keep on truckin! Appreciate you choosing to link up with us. Holly an I both appreciate it! 🙂

    1. Awh, thanks Tricia! There are some days I feel like I can totally do this, and others, well, not so much…LOL!!! One day at a time, right? ❤ Thanks again, it's been fun getting to know you and I've met some new bloggers too so YAY! 🙂

  13. i know exactly how you feel. I’ve been a single parent for well, most of the time the kids have been alive. Between being a pilot for the military and for an airline and commuting to a guard unit, it’s tough. But you can’t look at it like he’s choosing the Army over you! Yea, I bitch and complain all of the time about being alone, but in reality I chose to marry a pilot for better or worse. The Army is a secure job that allows your hubby to provide for ya’ll, and sometimes that comes with sacrifices. You need to try and look at it that way if you can!! XOXO

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s