Gosh I have been bad about writing. But to be honest, I haven’t had a whole lot to write about. I am technically in training for the 4th full marathon, but have struggled the last couple weeks to gain motivation to really push myself. Emotionally I have just been all over the place, and range from mad, to sad, to just drained.
And then, last night, it hit me. I have been doing this “single parent” gig, well, for A LONG time. I was a single Mom to my oldest for the first 4 years of her life, and my husband’s travels between work and the Army have been significant over the years to say the least. Why can’t I remember that each and every time he goes, that this isn’t the first time he’ll leave, and it surely won’t be the last time either. Why? Because, to be honest…it hurts. It hurts because my husband has chosen this life, and his first love will always be the Army. And just admitting that, just WRITING that down to solidify that fact, well, hurts even a little more. Does he love me any less because of his life’s passion to serve in the Army? Not necessarily. But the Army will forever more come first. I can either accept that, or not. And for the past almost 13 years, I’ve accepted it, and will continue to do so. Our country needs more people like him in all honesty. And I know he does it not only because he loves it, but because he wants to provide a good life for us. I’ll stop whining. NOW. ❤
But sometimes it hard. It’s especially hard watching him already be gone, even though we’ve got a handful of days left. He got home late last night excited to be bearing gifts for the girls and I. He bought me a shirt from Free People…but forgot he bought me the very same shirt for Christmas. He got my oldest daughter a hoody, but got her a size medium which she’d drown in as she barely weighs 100 lbs. And he got our youngest American girl doll clothes for her doll Lucy, which was spot on. Hey, it’s 1 outta 3 right? Poor guy. He’s just not here anymore. He means well, for sure, and for that I am thankful. But to say I miss him already is an understatement.
So last week my training suffered, partly due to emotional setbacks, partly due to physical aspects (my right calf had REALLY been hurting since Tuesday’s run) and lastly due to finding the time between being a single Mom and managing to maintain the house and my career.
Tuesday-3.1 miles on the tready and 4 minute plank
Wednesday-20 minutes of Pilates and core
Friday-unscheduled rest and date night with my daughters
Saturday-house work, shopping, lunch date and movies with my daughters as well as an unscheduled girls night with my dear friend and neighbor.
Sunday-long run forced inside due to child care conflicts and a sore calf left my 5 miler turning into 4.2 It was all I had in the tank to be honest. Hubby made it home for the Superbowl which was nice, and I even made chicken chili (which I will highlight in my recipe section, soon)
So tomorrow he heads off to the second stint of his deployment which is only a couple weeks, but a couple weeks less time spent with us. One month from tomorrow, he will head out for his final journey of training before he goes, but it will be our final goodbye for the year.
Are you training for any races? Have you struggled to find motivation in the cold winter months?