Ok guys, I am not going to lie. I am going to have to dig deep to not be a little repetitive in my thankful post today, because I am having a bit of a struggle compiling my list. Sunshine and my dog are a given. Today was a rough day at work, and I’ll simple put between instrumentation and staffing issues this year, I snapped. I snapped at doctors, snapped at coworkers, hell I even snapped at myself for snapping and quickly apologized to the victims of my snaps, LOL.
My thankful post for today:
My ability to still run off the stress of a bad day even when my legs feel heavier than the sandbags I filled for Hurricane Irma (click link to check out my first month of adventures in FL) back in 2017!!!! I’m in week 9 (having missed 3 weeks due to bronchitis) of training so I can’t quit now!
My husband, who on days like today is extra sweet, extra supportive, and even had dinner ready when I got home from my run.
The fact that my daughters come to me with their problems. The fact they feel I am a “safe zone” shows me I’ve at least done something right despite the struggle of the preteen/teen years.
The roof over my head, and food on the table. I often find myself for wanting more, when really I have all that I need.
HUMP DAY! We’re almost to Friday, y’all!!!
What are you thankful for today? Do you have a favorite day of the week?
This year on the blog I will be talking more about some good ole real life adventures and life in general. My goal is to write more, and knowing I have struggled with making myself a priority over the last several decades, I thought this would be a good Saturday evening topic.
Looking back on my life, my priorities have always been targeted on something other than me. My husband and taking care of things while he was gone on deployments, my kids and their happiness, and my job and juggling work and home life have always left “Me” at the end of the very long list of things I have been responsible for over the last several years. Because of the large bucket of balls I have juggled over the years, I have lost friendships, and somewhat have sort of lost myself. Now that my kids are getting older (one is grown and so far still out of the house but still struggling to find her way, and one is now 12 and is becoming more independent and self sufficient), I really want to see how I can make ME a priority this year.
Here’s a few things I have in mind for the upcoming year:
I’ve updated my resume and am ready to start looking at progressing in my career. I’ve always taken the back seat to make sure I am home for my family, but I think the time is now to see if I can actually move forward in my career.
I’ve signed up for a half-marathon the end of February with my husband. My training is on hold during the course of fighting this horrible cold, but I’ve still got plenty of time to properly train.
I will make more time for the friendships I’ve made here in Florida. I’ve been lucky enough to be blessed having an old Air Force girlfriend here, and have made a couple of friendships I hope to develop. I’ve learned as you get older, it really is harder to make friends.
Write more, and more often. Be it short excerpts, recipes, or just simple dialog, WRITE.
Above all else, love myself a little more. Stop counting the grey hairs and wrinkle lines, and remember that I have been through so much in my life. I have earned every grey hair and every line that is carved in to my face.
Lastly, continue on with my mantra of “Keep Movin’ Forward.” Yes, I am middle aged, yes, I will be 46 in a little over a week, but my life is far from over. I need to remember that it really is NEVER too late, and I still have time to do the things I want to in this life.
I watched one of my favorite movies tonight, “Mr. Holland’s Opus,” and was reminded that life may not always turn out how we wanted, but if we can touch other people’s lives and make this world a better place we should have no regrets.
What are your goals for this year? Do you have a favorite movie that resonates with you? I’ve thought about renaming the blog…any suggestions?
So it’s Friday night and I am ready to party…NOT. This darn cold has set me back nearly a week, and it’s taken everything in my power not to sleep 24-7. I called in sick on Wednesday, which is something I never do, and the last two days I coughed nearly non-stop. From what I hear, this cold is lasting up to three weeks, and I just don’t have time for that…I’ve got a half marathon to train for!!!
But the reality of it all, is that I shouldn’t complain about having a silly cold or my lapse in training. See, my neighbor lost her husband just a few short days before Christmas at the young age of 43, as he died suddenly in his sleep. He is leaving behind a wife and three children, and while we weren’t super close to them, we did spend some time with them over this last year and the loss is palpable in my neighborhood. Life. Is. Short.
So sleep in if that’s your fancy.
Tell those you care about, that you love them. Don’t just assume they know.
Pursue your dreams, and never settle.
Eat that slice of cake, or have that basket of French fries.
Keep Movin’ Forward.
Have you ever lost someone suddenly? What is your guilty pleasure?
This morning I was reading one of my favorite blogs over at Suzlyfe. I love her blog because its raw, its real, all while being informative and entertaining. I needed a little respite from the funk I’ve been in, so when I opened my email this morning to get my daily dose of Suz, I found myself moved to tears.
See, between not getting promoted and not hearing back on any prospective leads I thought I had, along with dealing with some resentment and anger issues (don’t ask, we can save that for another post, or not…) I’ve found myself in a funk. My mood sucks, my running sucks (if you can call running twice a week actual running) and my cooking has even started to suck. The ONE thing I actually think I am half way decent at has fallen flat and left my family (more so me) less than impressed. This has been ongoing for the last few weeks, and with each dish I prepare, it’s either under/over cooked, over seasoned, or just plain blah. And this is quite unlike me, I’d like to think at least. So last night when my hubby had to take my oldest to the dentist, I thought, HEY, I will make the steak for the tacos we planned on having along with getting the beans and corn ready. Too easy, right? Wrong…I cooked the steak with beautiful grill marks and set aside to rest. I then decided it necessary to mutilate the beans, overcooking them by a good 15 minutes. Just before they got home from the dentist I went to slice in to my beautifully grilled and rested meat to find it was still RAW. And not just slightly raw, I am talking, the cow may have had a MOO or two left in him. Ugh…I threw it back in the pan, and sighed a heavy sigh.
After dinner we cleared the plates and I told my family I was on a hiatus from cooking. If I can’t joy in cooking, I simply can’t cook. With that, I headed upstairs to take a shower and have a good cry but when I turned around my oldest daughter had decided to come up and comfort me. I don’t hide my emotions very well, and my family knows me better than most. She gave me a huge hug and said, “You ok, Mom?” and I broke in to a sob. “Don’t settle in life honey,” I pleaded with her. “Write your books, chase your dreams, just please don’t get stuck like Mommy is. While I was in the Air Force it was ok to have this job, but now I feel stuck.” And she just hugged me tighter, promising she’d chase her dreams. We even pinky promised which is like a golden seal in our house. Yup, my almost 18 year old still will pinky promise with me. ❤ And suddenly I found my happiness again, right there in the comfort of my first born daughter’s arms. Funny how the tables can turn.
My takeaway from last night was twofold. Yes, I am feeling stuck, and I think RUT might be my new middle name. BUT…I had a beautiful moment with my daughter that no one can take away, and I need to focus on moments like these vs. feeling a little stuck. Because we can’t be stuck if we are still making the choice to get out of bed every day and do our best.
My time will come. I just know it. And I am so thankful for the beautiful people in my life that have helped me see the brighter side of things. Thanks Suz, this one is for you!
In the last 17 weeks and 2 days of this deployment I’ve learned a lot. A lot about myself, my kids, my family, my friends, my coworkers, and people just in general. Some of the things I’ve learned I will hold on to dearly. Like the fact that despite REALLLLLLY wanting to crawl in to a hole for the next year, I have MADE myself get out and do things. Fun things with my girls. Even a few outings with friends have made the time apart from my hubby a little more bearable. I’ve also chosen to keep my kid’s happiness my number one priority, because they deserve the very best in life. And in that choice, means a lot less “ME” time which can take it’s toll on me from time to time.
That choice has also brought some pretty judgy comments. “You aren’t running anymore? WHY? Just have your oldest daughter watch your youngest.” Stop. Right. There.I didn’t have kids to make them take care of themselves or each other 24-7, more importantly it’s not my 16 year old daughter’s job to watch her sister while I am out running. Sure, she watches her during the days this summer minus Wednesdays when I have her nanny come to give both the girls a break. But would it really be fair of me to have her watch her sister at night so I can go run after work when she’s been watching her all day? I sure don’t think so. I let her go socialize with her friends in the evening, attend her voice lesson on Wednesday and just be a KID. She’s already growing up too fast! There’s also the “If it was important to you, you’d make the time to run.” Really? Really…Hmm…Sorry, my kids are still more important. Take that Judgy McJudgerson. #rantoversheesh #Istillhavemybasementworkouts
I’ve also learned that being a victim or a martyr just isn’t the life path I choose to take anymore. And that’s huge in a time when I could easily fall in to the “poor me” trap. People will continually bitch and moan about how they’ve been handed a raw deal, or that no one is every there for them in life. But said people often forget to look in the mirror and ask WHAT they are doing to change their situation, or recognize how LITTLE they do for others. Quit. Blaming. Everyone. Else. Be real people. Please. It really is the only way to be. Pick yourself up, brush off the yuck and MOVE FORWARD. I promise, you’ll be happier for it. I was in denial for years and thought it was the world against ME. I was one of those people! When really, it was ME and against ME. What a life changing moment it was to come to that realization. Whew! #sogladimoverthatpartofmylife **This rant is about no one in particular, just a reminder of a road I hope to never travel again.
To keep up with keeping myself grounded, (and sane, who I am kidding) I have started cooking more, which is something I truly love so that is a good thing! Here’s Tuesday night’s bacon wrapped turkey roast, with Brussels sprouts and baked sweet potato fries! Since my hubby left we’ve been eating a lot of take out, sandwiches, frozen pizzas and soups. When my daughter said “Mom, it was so nice when I came home and smelled your amazing cooking” I was reminded of my love for cooking and the joy it brings to others lives. #allthefeels
Lastly, (at least for this post) I’ve learned that dogs truly feel the absence of ‘their people’ and it really hurts them. My dog Sammy has really aged over these last few months. He mopes around the house, eats random items, and is starting to have hip issues. We’ve got hard wood floors on our main floor and he slips and slides terribly. I think this weekend it’s time I invest in some rugs. My bud just hasn’t been the same since my hubby left, and it’s hard to see him so sad.
What life lessons have you learned lately? How do you deal with aging pets? Ever find yourself feeling like you need to explain yourself when it’s your life, and no one should be judging you?!
I’ve been sitting here for 5 minutes now, starting at the title of this post struggling to come up with something witty or catchy that will spark my readers attention.
But I’m drawing a blank.
I’ve read the last several of my posts. Man I sound like a broken record? Yikes…
My hubby is gone this week, so its my first week of figuring it all out on my own again. Although I’ve done this several times as he has always traveled a lot for work and/or the Army, this time feels a little different. I am doing my best to get us into a routine, so that when he leaves early spring, we will be at least physically prepared. The mornings can be a mad rush, so laying clothes out the night before, preparing snacks/lunches, signing homework folders and checking off reading logs all get done the night prior.
Today I finally decided no more excuses, my sinus crap was gone and it’s time to get back to working out at least 3 times per week. Last night I planked, and today did an interval workout on my treadmill followed by a 4 minute plank. I think I might have even smiled afterwards as I looked in the mirror at my beet red face. I was smiling, WHA?!? No way!
I figure the stronger PHYSICALLY I feel, the better emotionally I will feel in the end, so my goal is to keep pushing, and get stronger. I’ve lost 6 of the 9 lbs. I gained with marathon training last year, and my hubby even commented that I look like I am slimming down! #winning all around.
Today, I didn’t cry. Despite work drama, home stressors, you name it, I held it together. #morewinning right? I know my family is worried about me getting through this, but I am not the woman I was even just a few years ago. I’ve grown, I like to think, in to a much stronger person. And I’ve got many of you to thank for that strength. You amazing support, kindness and friendships have truly added years to my life. ❤
Well, sad to say last week SUCKED. I came down with a rotten cold, which left my chest heavy and my heart even heavier. I managed to get in Tuesday’s 4 miler, and Yoga on Wednesday but the rest of the work week I was down for the count. So yesterday when I hit the road for my 12 miler, I knew it would more than likely be tough. See, solo long runs when you are feeling strong can be really awesome…but when you are already feeling low, the miles can really hurt when you are alone with your thoughts.
When I don’t run, I am not able to release all the life crap that piles up, which leads to a very unhappy Michelle. As the sunshine beamed down on my face, I could feel the energy draining from me rapidly. WHY did I pick a route that had NO shade when I set out for my run mid morning? DUMB DUMB DUMB. Realizing I would run out of water, and had picked a route with NO fountains and NO shade, I decided to turn around for home early. But 9 miles are better than no miles, right?
This week I work all but Friday, so while seeing everyone post on social media about the ‘holiday’ weekend filled with BBQ’s and vacations I am left feeling slightly bitter. And I don’t like this feeling. So today I am going to get out of the house for a couple hours and go consignment shopping with my neighbor in hopes to regain my smile. Gosh, where the heck did I put it, anyhow?
None. Nope. Not a single lb. My nutrition was good minus a few bites of artichoke dip at Friday’s work pot luck, and I’ve cut back on my nightly date with wine but so far, no luck with losing anything. So glad I bought one size bigger capri pants and shorts…sheesh. LOL!
My goals are to get through work and weekend duty with out any casualties, to include myself. I’ll be doing my 20 miler solo, on Friday which is my one day off, and to say I am nervous would be an understatement.
Despite being sick all week, I really wanted to get my recipe posted for this week. I’ve made a healthy and tasty dish!
Baked Trout stuffed with lemon and herbs
4 previously cleaned trout-ask your fish monger to make sure they are fresh
1 lemon, sliced
Fresh herbs-dill, thyme, parsley are great!
Kosher salt and pepper to taste
Drizzle of extra virgin olive oil
Preheat your oven to 375 degrees and line a baking sheet with foil. Spray with cooking spray. Season your fish both inside and out with the salt and pepper, and stuff with the lemon and herbs. Drizzle with EVOO, and cover with foil. Bake for 25 minutes. I removed the heads and tails to serve, because they wouldn’t fit on the plate, LOL!
Sautéed Kale with Sopressata salami
6 pieces of sopressata salami sliced, and chopped
1 bunch of kale that has been rinsed and de-veined
Drizzle of EVOO
Kosher salt and pepper to taste
Drizzle the extra virgin olive oil in a pan, and heat to medium heat. Add in your salami, and sauté until golden brown. Drain any grease from the pan. Add in your kale, and toss gently in the salami and remaining oil. Season with kosher salt and pepper and cook for 5-7 minutes.
Sweet Potato hash
One sweet potato, peeled and cubed
Smoked paprika, kosher salt, pepper, dried oregano, fresh thyme and one clove of garlic, smashed but keep in tact so you can remove.
Pat of unsalted butter and a sprinkle of brown sugar (shhh, my secret to get the potatoes to crisp up)-save this step for last.
Heat coconut oil in a large sauté pan over medium high heat. Add your potatoes, seasonings, herbs and garlic clove and cook for 20 minutes. Five minutes before serving add the butter and brown sugar, cooking still at medium to high heat.
Dinner is served!
How do you deal with ‘off’ weeks? I’ve found my delving in to my ‘other’ passions it helps keep me centered somewhat still. Have you ever cooked a fish whole? What was the best part of your week?
Have a great week, y’all. Remember, to keep movin’ forward!!