moving forward – Page 99 – Movin' it with Michelle

Motivation in many ways…

February 10, 2015 Movin' it with Michelle

I didn’t sleep very well last night. The never ending thoughts of, “Can I do it all” haunted me as I rushed around packing lunches, drying snow pants, and signing the infamous “daily folder” to avoid the nasty note from the teacher. Oh, and did I wash S’s ballet uniform for Monday night? Crap…her tights need to air dry. Lemme throw that last minute load of clothes in at 10 p.m. LOL

But we had a ~~mostly~~ successful Monday morning with only minor drama as I dropped off S at the neighbor’s house before taking J to school. This calls for a win in my book. I also woke up to a loss of 1.4 lbs. Double WIN for a Monday!

But as I drove to work this morning sipping my yummy protein shake, (insert sarcasm here-pass me the bacon and eggs please and thanks) I thought about several things. What motivates me, what inspires me, and what keeps ME movin’ forward.

The last few years have been pretty huge for me. Between Marathons, my MasterChef tryout, and moving on to a new job this past year-I finally feel like I am finding my groove. But that underlying voice saying “GO chase your dreams” is still very real.

repeat, sorry, but a darn proud moment! (MasterChef try out)

See, I’ve always been an oddball. A stand out…a person who never really fit in with any crowd. I’ve always felt…well…different. And that’s ok…truly. I like who I am…who I’ve become. But I’ve always felt I had a bigger purpose in life…

So while driving home tonight, I decided to think, pray, and reflect on what motivates me to keep movin’ forward. Here is the list I came up with, in no particular order:

1. To be a better Mom. I’ve failed sucktastically at this more times than I can count. But may my girls never have to feel an ounce of the sadness I did growing up. (To no fault of anyone-just life circumstances).

2. To be a better Wife. See…there’s this dude, that I call B around here, whom I love dearly. He’s made me a better ME. I can only hope to do the same for him.

and lastly…

3. To be a better ME. I have done more, pushed myself further, and tried harder to live life to the fullest in the last 3 years than I did in the last 42 years combined. And isn’t this the example I want to give to my girls?

You’re darn right it is.

I drove home tonight nearly in silence as I thought about ALL of this. And I realized, no matter what, my voice matters and I need…to KEEP MOVIN’ FORWARD.

And in perfect time for this post, my J came downstairs to say goodnight, in tears. Someone told her today she looked ugly, and immediately my Mama bear came out in full force. I took a deep breath, reminded her of the importance of kindness and hugged her tightly. Being a parent is so tough, yet rewarding…And THIS fuels my fire. daily.

What motivates you? Tell me!

❤ Michelle

depression, moving forward

Fear and frustration = FUEL for marathon motivation

February 3, 2015 Movin' it with Michelle

In 2013 I ran my second FULL marathon. I swore I’d never run a second full, but got the bug after the first training run. I PR’d by nearly an hour (58 minutes to be exact, I SHOULD know the seconds, but don’t, lol) and I SWORE I’d never run another full marathon. I ran a couple half marathon races in 2014, to include my husband’s first half…did you read about it? You can read about it HERE!

So today while on my break I decided to catch up on blog posts. My friend Kim asked when training for the Grandma’s Marathon started, and after scratching my head and thumbing through my calendar I realized official training starts in TWO weeks. WHA???? Here. WE. GOOOO! In two weeks I need to be back up to a steady 6 mile run. Easy peasy, right? I’m a marathoner for goodness sake…Ack…I haven’t ran more than 13.1 miles in 4 months…but I’m ready. And a little scared, too…<3

Have you heard of this race? If not, read here! For those that don’t know, this is my hometown race, where I grew up watching marathoners crossing the finish line, thus my dream of being a marathoner began.

And a marathoner I am…to me, this is one of the hugest mental and physical accomplishments of my life. I have loved, I have lost, and I have ran 26.2 freakin’ miles. yeah…quote THAT. 🙂

But the last 2 days I fought with some mental demons, past hurts, and irrevocable YUCK that just can’t be ~~forgiven~~ forgotten. I ALMOST let it get to me….but NOPE. Sorry y’all, I’ve got a marathon to train for…#movinforward

So I thank you all for your positive feedback in regards to my last post. I know we all struggle, we are all human, and we all have those negative forces that try to creep in…BUT…I also know, only some of us decide to move forward…and not let that crap in. (Yes, I was literally shaking my head today)!!!!

At the end of the day, I managed to finish my plank challenge (Day 2) and added an additional 10 seconds, as well as did the push up challenge I am participating in this month. Tomorrow is mill day, and I hope to get in at least 3 miles. I’ll be taking all of my fear and frustration and ‘running it out’ tomorrow…who’s with me? Let’s leave the crap behind us, right?

What are your plans for the week? Do you have any upcoming races?

moving forward

Sometimes you just have to start over…Snow, Sluggish miles, and Super Bowl fun

February 2, 2015 Movin' it with Michelle

My year started out a little rocky between injury and stress levels running at an all time high. For the first few weeks of the year I couldn’t run OR cook. yeah…#killmenow basically was in affect.

But today, as we start the second month of the year I woke up happy, nearly rested, and ready to run. We were hit by a terrible snow storm over night, and I am honestly just a wimp as I’ve aged with running outside in bitter temps/wind/crazy conditions. It was snowing…SIDEWAYS. yeah. I was staying INSIDE.

But as I stepped on the scale before I changed in to my running clothes my heart sank a little, and I knew it was time to start over. Despite giving up some bad habits in the past, I’ve taken on some even worse habits of snacking at 9 pm at night which have cause my weight to go up higher than I’ve seen since the birth of my last child. I have honestly weighed the same give or take a few lbs. for the better part of my adult life….so fighting with the scale is a new battle for me. But…

No more. Time to start over.

This morning I started my day with a run. Loud capris and shoes in tow…Yup…that’s how I roll.

My kids played in the snow, while I made my Detox soup for the week!

detox soup, ready for my lunches this week!

I researched and found a new plank challenge for beginners that I will post daily on my FB page. Have you liked my page yet? Please look over to the right margin of my page and give me a little love!

And then, I roasted an amazing pork roast as my hubby prepared to stream the Super bowl via the internet. YAY!

I served this with a salad of fresh greens and baked sweet potato fries. YUM.

Not the ideal way to watch the game, but hey! It worked!

We are ending the night with the hubs plowing and shoveling, AGAIN…note the look of disdain on his face…LOL

So with all that…today I am starting over (again). I realized that the most important thing in life that we can give, is love…I’ve fought the emotional battles of “not being enough” and it just isn’t worth it. People will make an effort to be a part of your life-if they truly want to…and sometimes, you realize that your efforts are falling on deaf ears and you need to step back and focus on YOU. Starting over, daily, because isn’t that what life is all about? #Movin’forward

And sometimes….most times…and always. You need to be your own hero.

How do you overcome the negative forces in your life? Are you an all weather runner?

moving forward

Movin’ forward, Two things this Tuesday

January 28, 2015January 28, 2015 Movin' it with Michelle

I have had a bit of a rough week physically. I’m not sure if it is the weather, crazy storm fronts or lack of good sleep but I’ve just felt a bit off. My sinus cavities aren’t happy with all the weather changes, and my stomach has that “Are you two months pregnant?” look to it that means it MUST be that dreaded time of the month ~~or I have been eating too much crap aka salt.~~ Crap…it’s only Tuesday!

As I drove to work today on my 0.1 nano-seconds of sleep I decided to reflect on how my year has started. (In reference to the nano-second please, PLEASE tell me you know who Mork and Mindy are…). I use my commute to think, reflect, and devise my daily plan for forward movement. That is my mantra….right?

Firstly, I started off my year by NOT running due to my accidental ~~idiot mistake~~ to lop off part of my thumb. I almost let this incident get to me, but remembered last year’s winter and decided it best to keep movin’ forward. So last week I started running again and yeah…a month off can hurt a person’s mojo. I can’t get my breathing straight, I hate the dreadmill, and it truly is hard to get motivated enough to get movin’ after a long day of work. But I’ve kept at it despite not feeling 100%…and although my mileage/speed is crap, I am at least MOVIN’…right?

After work, while dinner was cooking-THIS happened...lol — After work, while dinner was cooking-THIS happened…lol

Secondly, sometimes winter gets to my emotional well being. Ok…~~I hate winter~~, more eloquently said, winter hurts…ROFL. That being said, I started to let the negative forces creep back in to my life…until I promptly kicked them to the curb. Be gone! People, stuff, events, you name it…I refuse to get sucked back in to it all. So sorry if I am a bit absent from the negativity…#noroomforthatcrap #sorrynotsorry

Yet tonight I had SEVERAL text messages from friends both near and far that wanted to check in on me/say hi/chat. Score. My heart was re-filled and I knew I was on the right path yet again.

And now, as my hubs heads off to his late night soccer game I bid you all good night, and sweet dreams.

Questions…how do you keep yourself movin’ forward during tough times, winter months etc?

❤ Michelle

goals, Holidays, moving forward

Post injury blues

December 29, 2014 Movin' it with Michelle

Today as I laid on the couch watching football, and soaking my thumb in warm water to get the blood clotting bandage to dissolve, I found myself feeling…sad.

Meet my nurse maid and moocher, Sammy LOL

It’s Sunday…as most of you know, we have a Sunday supper tradition we started earlier in the year where I prepare a “fancier” dish to celebrate my awesome family each week and all that we accomplished in the past week.

But I still can’t cook.

And I can’t run.

Two of my favorite things to do to release stress…Someone I thought was a running friend said, “You don’t need your thumb to run.” And I had to re-read that comment several times while choking back the tears. If they knew the severity of my cut I hope they’d never say such a mean thing…I mean, really? What happens when you run? YOUR BLOOD STARTS PUMPING! Right? I have a freakin’ open wound on my thumb that could burst at any time. Sorry…I DO need my thumb healthy in order to run. So to this person, I say…thanks Capt. D-Bag.

Our supper included take out from one of our favorite local Thai places. This made me feel slightly better. Spicy seafood over noodles. Yes please…

And now, with my bandage changed, and still slightly handicapped I am found a bit lost in my thoughts. Thankful for the amazing support from my family and friends, slight put off by people who didn’t bother to even ask how I am, and ultimately blessed at the end of the day.

This injury may set me back…but it won’t stop me. And I will forever remember those who helped me during my dark times, vs. those who celebrate my sorrows.

Here’s to a new week. I plan on walking this week despite working the next 5 days. I have some steam to burn off. What are your plans this week?

*Pardon any typos…I am fat fingering while typing.

❤ Michelle

moving forward

Christmas injuries

December 27, 2014 Movin' it with Michelle

So our Christmas morning started out like most. Presents, laughter and breakfast all while snuggled in our Jammies. I loved seeing my kids faces so happy with joy as they unwrapped the gifts that were neatly wrapped under the tree.

My hubby got me a Mandolin, the fancy Chefs version and I was giddy. I just had to give it a try with a freshly washed potato. It kept slipping off the safety guard so I thought, meh, I can do this.
And yeah. I’m an idiot.

I took a huge slice off of my thumb and a swift trip to the ER was in order.
Lots of tears of disappointment were shed and yeah…looks like I won’t be cooking for a while. The fact I am one finger typing this is a miracle.

My hubby saved the day as always preparing dinner and I got the best get well soon card from my daughter.

Lessons learned over the last 24 hours include:
1. I have the best family and friends. I received countless texts and facebook messages wishing me well.
2. The people who truly care for you will be there in the darkest of times. I was so upset, and in pain, but can’t even describe how thankful I am to have such amazing people in my life.
3. Christmas Day doesn’t always go as planned. But in the chaos there is a certain peace that comes with the constants we have in our lives.
4. Taking a shower and getting ready with one hand is. Hard. Thanks to my
Hubby for helping me shave my left arm pit. Lol. Yeah. He’s that amazing.

At the end of the day despite my bruised pride I am counting my blessings.

Despite being side lined from running for a few days I am truly looking forward to 2015 with new challenges and blessings.
How about you? How was your holidays?
💗 Michelle

moving forward

Reborn…

November 18, 2014 Movin' it with Michelle

Nearly 42 years ago, I was born on January 17th with a weight of 2 lbs, 11 (?) ounces…My due date was in March some time (St. Patty’s day I believe?) but I decided to bless the world with my presence early. WAY early in that day and age and upon my arrival my parents told me I was said not I wouldn’t live. They baptized me in the hospital, as well as giving me my last rights. And then came the on going wait…

But after several weeks (it may have been months, the story sadly is not fresh in my memory) in the ICU, in an incubator, I was sent home. I fought hard to live…to breathe…to BE.

My earliest memory is of me at around age 3, but I am told as an infant my Mother dressed me in doll clothes because preemie outfits didn’t exist back then. My Father could place my head in his hand, and my toes wouldn’t reach the crock of his elbow. I was TINY.

Yet my fighter instinct set in, and I was ready for a life of fighting, struggling, and movin’ forward. Tell me I am not going to make it another day, and despite my initial want to throw in the towel I will fight back twice as hard as anyone else.

Looking back I remember so many times when I hit rock bottom (or so I thought) and I wanted to give up. I’ve learned though…there is no ROCK BOTTOM…it’s simply a stepping stone to move forward.

I never quit. And no matter the circumstance, I am constantly reminded by God up above that he gave me the blessing of life. He saved me, more times than I can count and now it is up to me to save myself from the day to day life battles I encounter. It’s up to me. And I’m not ready to quit…in life, in training, in regards to my family and friends, in my career. I won’t. Give. Up.

photo credit, World Prematurity Day on Facebook

With World Prematurity day honored today, I am reminded of the life I’ve been given…and I won’t waste another second of this precious gift. #keepmovinforward

❤ Michelle

dedication, moving forward

Decluttering

November 7, 2014 Movin' it with Michelle

Having been in the military for 20 years, I have found myself with the stigmatism of being a hoarder. Be it clothes, receipts, paperwork, junk drawers, and old tee shirts that I just MIGHT need one day…I KEEP. ALL. THE. JUNK. I believe this also stems from having gone from living pay check to pay check to well, still living pay check to pay check at the age of nearly 42. What if I ‘need’ that such and such…what if I run out of ‘whatever’…I must. keep. it. ALL. I remember back in the day, taking toilet paper from the gym locker room home because I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to afford to buy more…Yes…I was that girl.

But in all honestly, despite bills and debt, I have enough. I can let ‘things’ go…finally.

But it’s hard…I am only human. That pair of earrings I wore in 2002 can be donated…really. That race shirt I earned at a local 5k that never really fit can be given to charity. That cute top I wore in 2006 when my husband commented how pretty I looked, yet it no longer fits can be set aside for my Goodwill donation…really.

BUT. I will keep the dress I wore, over 10 years ago to meet my husband’s plane when he returned from Afghanistan. Sorry hoard police…that one will stay hanging neatly in my closet, collecting well deserved dust. It’s not going anywhere. Some things, I just can’t let go…

I tackled my bedroom tonight. My closet and my dresser are my enemy when it comes to hoarding…am I the only one that couples clothes with memories? Ack, make it stop! After nearly 2 hours I had 1 bag of trash, 1 bag to sell at consignment, and 2 bags of clothes to donate. I felt accomplished. I tied the bags up neatly, and walked away. This is my preemptive strike to move forward in all aspects of my life.

I got my work out in as well, although short in length, I felt I got my ‘swole’ on, LOL

And now, after venting about my long day to my husband, I am listening to Josh Groban, “You raise me up” and am reminded to hold those close to me, who lift me up…Constantly, consistently…and always.

Sweet dreams, gang…

Questions…do you purge? Do you have a hard time letting things go?

moving forward

Tuesday truths-part 1…can you say no?

October 28, 2014 Movin' it with Michelle

For years I was a person who aimed to please people’s lives…I wanted to make everyone happy, even if it meant sacrificing my own happiness. Call me a people pleaser if you will…

But today, after an uncomfortable situation at work I found myself starting to steam…my cheeks flushed, and I felt the anxiety creeping in with it’s quiet demeanor. Darn it…here we go again. WAIT.

I stopped, drafted an email explaining my concerns with what I was asked to do, and set it aside.

I waited, nearly 10 minutes and came back to it to reread what I had wrote.

I hit send…to the powers that be and then…

I waited again for a response…

I got confirmation that I was in the right, and that I didn’t need to do the task I was originally asked to perform as it was out of my scope.

And then,

I smiled. I stood up for myself. I said no.

This was a welcomed milestone in my moving forward mantra, and I am still smiling.

Do you have a problem saying no? If so, how have you dealt with it?

❤

Michelle

moving forward, running, Thursday

Throwback, Thursday and moving forward

October 24, 2014October 24, 2014 Movin' it with Michelle

I have been toying with this post for a while, but between my computer dying and lack of time I put it off…

I had read a post on one of my favorite blogs a while back…www.ilaxstudio.com about whether or not you go back and delete old posts. My initial response was, “No, my blog is a catalog of my journey.” But tonight I decided to go back and read some old posts I had written since I started this blog back in 2011. Wow…it was an eye opener to read some of my early writings shortly after I retired from the Air Force. My initial blog was named “From blue, to jeans” but I’ve updated it to my current site in the last couple years.

Some of my posts were…well, sheer torture to read. Was I really so down in the dumps all the time? Was transitioning from the military, and being a single military wife for many months so hard? Apparently, yes, it was from what I read… I whined…a lot. Gah. So I deleted several posts tonight, because that just isn’t the course I need to take anymore. I’m sure I’ll go back and delete at least a few more. For moving forward to me, is a journey filled with change, positivity and not dwelling on the past. Sure, tough times are had by all…but I don’t need or want that sort of thing to be the premise of my writing. I’ve worked hard this last year or so to literally delete negativity from my life, because I have the tendency to get sucked in to that frame of mind and in all honestly-I want to break that pattern.

So tonight, after what was the busiest day I’ve encountered at my not so new job, I came home, and ran…just an easy 3.3 miles, but I ran none the less. I’ve lacked motivation these last few weeks coming off the Fox Valley half marathon with my hubby, but I know I’ve got a race coming up and I just can’t half ass it…it’s not in me to just wing it…My 11th half marathon in two weeks, the Naperville half marathon.

In doing so, I found my inspiration to finally write this post. I thought back to 2007 when with only 8 weeks to train I signed up for my first half marathon, the San Antonio Rock-n-Roll half marathon. Seven years ago, at this time I had hit a tough spot in life and decided to give my heart to distance running and I lost myself on the road. I ran the entire race, which was my goal…and I finished in 2:19 (I believe? how can I forget?)…I’ve ran 10 half marathons, but this one will always hold a special place in my heart.

My biggest fans after finishing my first half marathon in 2007!

I found myself there, on those 13.1 miles of streets, roads, and city sites…and although there have been bumps in the road, I now smile daily, and live to tell my story another day.

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