Well, we’re going on 7 weeks down this coming Tuesday. As of late, things have somewhat evened out at least emotionally, that is until last week. See, we are our HUGE inspection at work that gives us our national accreditation and they show up unannounced. Ok, so deep breathes. I walk in to work on Tuesday with the news they’ll be here in an hour. No big deal, right? Its just ONE day, and how bad could it be? Well, when after introductions they announced they’d be inspecting our lab for THREE days. Gulp. Needless to say my long days and still needing to maintain our evening schedules left very little for working out. Good news is, we got through the inspection with only minor write ups that have already been fixed. If stress burned as many calories as working out does, I’d be 10 lbs. lighter after last week. ROFL!!!
Friday my oldest daughter, J, had plans with her friend, so I took my mini for Mani’s and Pedi’s after I picked her up from school and we ran a few errands. We never do things like this, so it was quite the treat.
Saturday J had a mandatory study session at school from 10:15-2:30 so after dropping her off my mini and I went out for breakfast. And guess who we saw?!? Donnie Wahlberg sat RIGHT there at the counter when I was paying for our meal. No, I didn’t take a pic, but YES it totally happened, LOL!!!! Sure, Mark is cuter, but I was star struck nonetheless!
Saturday night I was heading to Chicago to watch The Avett Brothers in concert at the Chicago theater with a very dear friend of mine. We headed downtown at around 4 P.M., had dinner at the Public House, and went for drinks at 3 Dots and a Dash before heading to the concert.
I haven’t been “out” in ages, I supposed more so due to guilt because I feel like my kids need me even more now that we are a single parent family. But J said, “Mom, GO! Have FUN!!!” And fun, I had. I smiled the entire evening, and sang my heart out during the concert.
Sunday I really wanted to relax. But, I had my fun last night so yard work trumped my plans of lounging on the couch. I spent 2 hours spreading turf builder and weed killer on my 1.5 acres of land. My arms are truly, officially SMOKED. LOL!!
Tonight I cooked a simple yet yummy dinner!!!
Here’s the recipe for my Asian inspired chicken. I marinated 4 chicken thighs in soy sauce, garlic powder, red pepper flakes and salt and pepper for 30 minutes. I took 1 bag of baby broccoli and drizzed it with extra virgin olive oil, 4 cloves of minced garlic, 1/4 cup of parmesan cheese. Season with salt and pepper and place on a baking sheet, and roast for 40 minutes at 375 degrees. Simply pan fry the chicken (pouring the marinade over the top) in a non stick pan for about 12 minutes or until cooked through. Cut at a diagonal, and serve over your favorite brown rice/quinoa. Top with the roasted broccoli!
I’m linking up with Holly and Tricia for the weekly wrap!! Please make sure to check out these (and all the amazing linkers) amazing ladies!!! How was your week? Try any new recipes? Do you have a big yard?
There are life changing events that happen in everyone’s life. No one lives a perfectly easy life filled with daisies and unicorns and picnics and sunshine. No one.
Yesterday, was the anniversary of one of these life changing events for me. It was a moment in time that I will never forget, and just recalling how I felt at 5 P.M. on March 16th makes me shudder. See, my oldest daughter was in a car accident, which she was hit by a car while on her bike. The story can be found here, and to date it is the top viewed post on my blog in 4 years.
The first love of my life
This event changed my life forever. I hang on a little tighter when my kids hug me. I TRY not to get so bent out of shape over the little things, although battling good grades is still my breaking point. I don’t spend as much time cleaning or doing yard work, instead I make the most of the time I have to make memories with my family and friends. When people reach out to me and offer their help, I let them, more so I welcome the effort with open arms.
With that, I’ll keep this post short, and sweet. I’ve got a work out on deck after I finish this post, and then I PRAY for a good nights sleep. It’s been 9-10 days since I’ve slept more than an hour at a time, and I’m a zombie!!
Have you had any life changing events that stand out in your life? What lesson did you find most important from these/this event?
I have battled with depression for more than half my life. Those of you that have been following along for a while, know that for most of my adult life I had taken depression medication. In fact, my distance running career started partly because I had hit rock bottom, and I HAD to pull myself back up for me AND my family. So in 2007 I decided in late September that I was going to run my first half marathon just 7 weeks later. I trained for this race while working full time, going to school for my Bachelors degree AND studying for promotion. Did I mention I had an 8 year old and a 1 year old daughter to care for too? LOL. Most said I was nuts, but deep down I knew I’d go completely nuts if I didn’t escape to the roads to train. I finished said half marathon in 2:19, and I had never been more proud of myself other than the day I graduated basic training. I DID it. I didn’t quit. I didn’t give up. And my husband was there, cheering me on the entire time.
Several years later, in 2012, I would finally complete my goal of finishing my first full marathon, and I did so with my sister by my side. Another very proud and amazing moment that I will never forget. I also haven’t taken any depression medicine since 2012, and I keep movin’ forward and feel better for it.
What does all this mean? Well, running has truly saved me more times than I can count. Why? How?
Well, I saw myself pulling back from my friends and family again here recently. I just wanted to go to work, come home, and curl up on the couch and forget that with each passing day, it meant a day closer to when my husband leaves. But a few weeks ago I decided I was going to accept an invitation from my friends and start running with them on Tuesday evenings. I was going to GET OUT OF THE DARN HOUSE and do something just for me. This last Tuesday as I was running and chatting with one of my very dear friends, we spoke of depression and different times in our lives that we battled this yucky disease. She spoke of a time where she stopped doing all the things she loved, and she became introverted and just wanted to be alone.
And a light bulb went instantly ON. I was doing this. I was declining invitations, not doing the things I enjoyed, and I was avoiding my friends.
So last night after work, I took my youngest shopping (I normally HATE stopping anywhere after work) at Target, threw in a couple CPK frozen pizzas in the oven, and treated myself to a MUCH needed massage. I hadn’t had one since June, and it was long over due. The point, is that I did something for me FINALLY. I’m not one of those women who gets her hair done at a nice place, or manicures/pedicures unless it’s a special occasion. I honestly don’t do hardly anything for ME, and it’s gotta stop. Because here soon, it’s going to be ALL me, and I better MAKE time to recharge.
I feel better today, better than I have in quite some time. I know some pretty amazing people have my back, and that helps lighten the load tremendously. And I’ve got hope…barrels and barrels of hope and faith, that my husband will return home safely, and that our family will be even stronger through all of this.
source: Giphy.com
Questions: What’s your go-to stress reliever? Have you or any of your family members dealt with depression?
I think it’s only human for us to have assumptions in certain situations when it comes to what is thought to be “the norm” in life, no? We assume that if there is something big in our lives, or something that we put our heart and souls in to, that those we consider closest to in life, will support those big things…at least I do…or did…
But assuming is a naughty naughty word, and it truly does end up slapping you in the face from time to time. And for a split second I caught myself being sad about the person(s) that don’t support my crazy #keepmovinforward mantra, page, and blog. I looked into my husband’s eyes with sadness, and he reminded me that HE will forever be my best friend, MY PERSON…and suddenly the sadness vanished. I’ve accepted that sometimes friendships run their course, and that is ok. It’s all the circle of life, right?
Since learning of my hubby’s upcoming deployment I have been flooded with phone calls, texts, comments and emails from friends and family. And despite crying more than I’d care to admit, I am also counting my blessings. Because you don’t get through the hard stuff without your friends and family.
Here’s a pic my friend Andrea made after I spectated and ran the last few miles of her first marathon with her. One of my all time favorite running memories.
With that, I thank you all for being just plain awesome. I love the fact that I’ve met so many amazing people through this community, and that you have chosen to join me on this journey. My hat goes off to you all!
Moving forward, I will continue to rant about running, recipes, and real life adventures. Let’s see where the upcoming year takes us!
I’ve had a bit of a trying week, one could say…after last weekend’s half marathon, my left lower butt cheek was really hurting (?? WTH), and my right knee-well, was being it’s normal cranky self. So I didn’t run last week. Not one mile. And I am 100% ok with that fact. And THAT. Well that speaks volumes of how far I have come as a runner, and grounded person. The old me would be going nuts by now…
Sometimes we become ungrounded though, and we need a bit of a wake up call in life in order to regroup. I will keep the majority of the details of this wake up call private to protect those involved, but I can speak in regards to what happened to ME. Because this is my blog and I can vent if I want to…
Just a few days ago I said some pretty horrible things in response to something that was said to me. #twowrongssodontmakearight And in doing so, I realized that over the last 9 months or so I have turned in to a pretty selfish person. I’d forgotten many of the things I had to relearn these last 4 1/2 years after retiring from the military and I got so self absorbed in finding/being ME that I forgot too, to be selfLESS. Because that has always been a part of who I am as well.
I got a swift kick of reality this week. But after lots of tears, and countless prayers I was given a second chance. A second chance to rebuild and rekindle what was once a very solid relationship. Cue more tears now…
I was also reminded of the many wonderful relationships I have in my life as I struggled with my ‘trying’ week. So while I may not have ran a single mile this week, I feel like I’ve crossed a new starting line…and with that, I’ll keep movin’ forward.
Lessons learned: You can never take back words. Ever. Use them wisely and carefully. Be KIND to everyone, but especially those you love. Never let things fester inside you…COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY. Festering is bad…very very bad. And lastly…put forth effort into these crazy things called relationships. Be it friend, family, spouse or coworker ALL these relationships weave a very intricate web in your life. Nurture that web!!!!
Me and my friend Andrea, meeting up with Janel (center) to make sure she had her DO EPIC SHIT bracelet because she’s running her first 50 miler today! #friends
Have you ever had a real life wake up call in regards to a relationship in your life? How do you deal with not being able to run due to real life crazies?
Since I worked all of last weekend, I was off today! I’ve been beating myself up about not doing all the things so I decided to start the day out right. A run on my dreadmill and day 3 of my 21 day challenge.
After which, I decided to bake zucchini bread. Keep in mind, as much as I love to cook-I am a terrible baker. But I’m tending my neighbors garden while they are on vacation so thought, why not?
yummy fresh veggies!
I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching again lately. And came to the realization that I need to celebrate how far I’ve come vs. dwelling on what I’d have done differently.
With that, I’ll be spending more time doing the things I love, and with the people I love. Well this should be common sense, right? Not always. While I preach not to let others treat you like an after thought, I don’t always walk that walk. Time to start steppin’, right?
What’s on your plate these days? Do you like zucchini bread? What’s your favorite thing to bake?
Well, I didn’t meet my goal of blogging at least 2 times each week as of last week, having only posted once last week and not posting since…But sometimes life just gets too hectic for all of the fun things that we enjoy doing. And sometimes, we just need to step back and let things happen as they should. For the saying IS true…everything WILL fall in to place eventually.
I had a pretty amazing opportunity come my way. I will leave that part of this post fairly vague, but to say it’s an opportunity of life time is pretty accurate. But…I can’t take the opportunity, as I am needed here by my husband and kids. Part of being a military wife, is giving up your own wants and needs so your husband can serve the country. And while I know my husband and kids (and my country) are so much more important than any sort of career chance I may be afforded, I still am left feeling very sad, and ever so slightly resentful. Gah.
I hate that feeling. I hate the dreaded sadness that can sit in the pit of your stomach and just burn, reminding you of it’s presence constantly throughout the day like bad heartburn after you’ve eaten spicy Mexican food, far too late at night. I hate crying every time I am left alone with my thoughts. I hate the reminder of the depressed person I once was and the memory of crying every single day. Double GAH!
So last night I reminded my husband that I only had a few days left before this opportunity would be a thing of the past. I had to decide. They didn’t REALLLLLLY need me, did they? They all spend their evenings on computer games or in their rooms. They wouldn’t even notice I was gone, would they? #whoamikidding
He shook his head. “You can’t go,” he said sadly. “We need you,” he said quietly. And he’s right…and I knew that all along. But hearing him say it, made me feel needed and loved. More so than I have felt, in quite a long time.
So while I am sad, I know my family comes first, and that someday there will be ANOTHER opportunity, perhaps at the RIGHT time…until that time, I’ll hug my family, count my blessing, and keep…movin’…FORWARD. I’ve started running/walking again this week after a 2 week break, which has helped me digest this whole situation immensely.
Have you ever had to pass on a good opportunity? Did it take you a while to digest it all?
If you read my last post, you read of my daughter’s life threatening accident. This past week has been nothing short of a rollercoaster ride, filled with ups, downs, and more emotional strain than I think I have ever experienced. But in these last few days, I’ve also learned many lessons that I believe will help me be a better Mom, Wife, friend, and person in general.
Firstly, the old cliché that “Life is short” became very real to me this week. I had flashes of losing my daughter more times than I can count, and moving forward I will truly do my best to embrace EACH DAY. I won’t nag my youngest about housework when she wants to put on a fashion show, or worry about whether or not I’ve perfectly folded the tee-shirts and socks. I will spend MORE time living, and less time worrying about meaningless crap.
Doesn’t my dog look thrilled? LOL
Secondly, I was reminded how very important being kind is this week. Be it a phone call, a text message, A fruit basket in the hospital, a card in the mail or flowers for my daughter ALL these acts of kindness helped ease my stress. And in receiving such amazing support, I’ve been given the gentle reminder that support goes both ways. I’ve often let a busy life be an excuse for not reaching out…well, no more.
This.
Thirdly, the saying “Laughter is the best medicine” really IS true. J needed help in bathing again today, and as I helped her get dressed she smiled. Just an hour prior she was irritable and grumpy (expected side effects of the injury and medications she is on), so her smile was welcomed. I offered her my gel deodorant to use, so she took it gently and applied it under her arms. “It feels funny,” she said, and then started laughing. It was a gentle, quiet laugh to which she said, “I don’t even know why I’m laughing.” I just smiled with tears in my eyes. What music to my ears it was to hear her laugh.
Found this on Pinterest
Lastly, do what you love, and love what you do. Having been in the hospital for half the week, and the other half just plain exhausted I haven’t cooked or been running. So tonight my hubby and I tag teamed dinner. He was on grill duty, and I made some yummy sweet potato and red pepper mash. I don’t have an exact recipe, but here goes:
Boil the potatoes in water until fork tender. Reserve about a cup of the water. While the potatoes are boiling, sauté the garlic, peppers and crushed red pepper flakes for 5-7 minutes until tender. (I sauté in extra virgin olive oil over medium to high heat-drain grease)
Combine everything to include the seasonings in to a food processor, and add the reserved water little by little to ensure the taters don’t get runny.
YUM!
Tomorrow I’ll hit the trails running with my dear friend for a nice 13 mile run. There will more than likely be tears, laughter, more tears, and much needed release of stress. But my miles will be dedicated to my daughter, as she is the toughest little fighter I’ve ever met, and I am so blessed to have her in my life.
Thanks everyone, for your continued love, prayers, and support. We are movin’ forward!!!
Gosh, it’s been a while since I’ve posted. I wish I could say that life has just been busy and that my days have been filled with work, running and everything in between. But that would be a lie. I haven’t been running since last weekend. And I am in week 5 of marathon training! What? But just wait.
Monday morning I woke up like I do every Monday morning, and I went through my daily routine. Something felt off, but I shook it off and hit the road. My left contact was being snarky and I kept blinking and trying to get it to just chill out. Finally I just sighed, pulled over and took it out. It was blurred and irritating my eye and I wasn’t going to let it ruin my day. I drove on, listening to K-Love Christian music radio and found myself being compelled to pray for my family’s safety. I had no idea why, but when the pull comes from the big man upstairs, I follow His direction. Little did I know what would happen later that very same day…
The phone call came just 5 minutes after arriving home with S. We had our sandwich stuff spread out on the kitchen counter like a factory line knowing our time is short on Monday’s due to ballet practice being just an hour after we arrive home. My phone rang, and J’s name came across the screen. It was 5 minutes to 5 P.M. which is when she was due home. My heart jumped when a strangers voice came through the ear piece telling me that J was in an accident and that I needed to come quick. I grabbed S, and we flew out the door to the intersection where the accident took place.
We arrived at the scene just 5 minutes later, and as I sprinted hand in hand with S, I saw my baby laid out on a stretcher with a neck brace and I fell to my knees. The police men steadied me as I knelt next to her, trying my hardest to be calm yet finding myself shaking uncontrollably. She would be transported to the local hospital and as I started to run to my Jeep, Sgt. G. stopped me. “Ma’am, you are in no condition to drive. Let me take you and your youngest to the hospital.” I smiled through my tears, and thanked him profusely. This man was the first of many Angels I’d meet in the next couple of days.
As we flew down Randall Road, with the ambulance in sight just behind us I wrapped my arms around my youngest and prayed. “Please God, keep J safe, let her be ok, heal her please,” among many other rambled prayers kept repeating in my head. Please…I…I can’t lose this child who taught me to love life again. I can’t be without my first born…I can’t. As much as I complain about the struggles of being a Mom to a 15 year old girl, I would take it all back just for her to be OK. Please. PLEASE?!?
We arrived at the ER shortly, and as the officer handed me her back pack that had been cut off her so they could triage her I found myself without words. He went to shake my hand and wish me well, but I hugged him instead thanking him for all that he did for us. He seemed almost surprised, but promised me everything would be ok.
We had two more Angels greet us at the hospital. Nurse Melissa, and Nurse Leah. They tended to J’s every need, going out of their way to make sure she was comfortable for her entire stay, and during her CAT scan. And when the news was delivered to us that she had skull fractures and bleeding in her brain and that we’d need to be transferred to a higher level trauma center, they made sure that I was ok. I told my husband to take our youngest home to stay with friends, and he would meet us later at the new hospital. And these two Angels helped hold me up when I just wanted to curl up and cry. I will be forever grateful.
The next 48 hours were a bit of a blur. We got checked in to the new ER, had more CAT scans which showed no improvement so we were moved to the Pediatric ICU. We were met by more amazing nurses and medical staff that treated us as of we were the only patients in the hospital. I can’t say enough about the wonderful care we received. Tuesday we had a repeat scan that showed the swelling had gone down and the bleeding had stopped. We would continue to monitor for the morning, and were eventually moved to a regular room. In comes my next Angel.
It had been 2 days since I’d showered, slept, or felt even half human. I couldn’t cry anymore, and although my J was improving the fear that the tables could turn at any moment was (is) very real. My sister texted me several times asking what she could do, or if I needed anything. Then at around 10:30 she said forget it, she was on her way and not to argue. She walked in the door, hugged us all and sat with us for a couple hours. Seeing how tired I was she offered to drive me home so I could grab a quick nap and shower. Mind you, she drove an hour FURTHER away from her house to get me home, well, because she’s just that awesome. ❤
Tuesday night one of my co-workers came to visit for a bit, and it just reminded me of the amazing people I have in my life. Countless texts, prayers, phone calls and reminders that J was being lifted up by EVERYONE were pouring in faster than I could keep up with. She just HAD to be ok. The doctors and nurses came in several times to check on her, and by Wednesday morning it appeared our prayers had been answered. They hoped she would be ready to go home that afternoon. She just needed to be able to eat, walk around a bit, and use the restroom. And that she did…she even got a little snarky which was a GREAT sign!!
So here we are, home from one of the toughest few weeks of my life, and I am humbled and grateful. I haven’t gone more than a couple hours without crying both in tears of fear, and tears of gratitude for God’s graces. I’ve counted, and recounted my blessings, and I have thanked everyone involved this week as many times as possible.
Looking back at the start of my week, I am moved by the fact that my vision was physically blurred and that I felt compelled to pray. And as I helped my 15 year old bathe tonight (for the first time in MANY years) I was moved to tears as she said quietly, “Thank you, Mommy,” after I helped her dress. “Will you brush and dry my hair,” she asked? I asked if drying her hair would bother her to which she said she’d let me know. And it didn’t thankfully…So I gently brushed her hair, dried it on the lowest setting, and ran my fingers through her hair. I turned the dryer off while her hair was still damp to which she said, “A little longer, please?” I smiled through my tears, thanked God yet again for his healing and protection to my amazing little girl, for my amazing family and friends, and for the Angels that abounded through this tragic event.
Our road isn’t cleared yet, as we have follow up with Neurology, Ophthalmology, and Pediatrics to make sure she’s healing and progressing. But at this moment, my vision has never been more clear. My baby is going to be OK. God truly does work miracles!!!!
As most of you know, my mantra is ‘keep movin’ forward.’ I may not always succeed in this mantra, but I start each day anew with the same goal. To live each day to the fullest, and to live each day with positive energy.
But daylight savings time truly kicks my butt. There. I said it. I honestly can’t lose ANY MORE SLEEP. So this is a weekend I dread. Profusely. Profoundly. And all the other Pro words that I am probably misusing missing.
So what do you do when you dread something? You distract yourself, of course. I spent the weekend shopping, eating, spending time with my daughters, and today I got my hair done!!! WOOP WOOP! I also scored some new shoes for work, as well as a few shirts to welcome spring.
Where else can you get two awesome pairs of shoes for less than 50 bucks! Thanks, TJ Maxx!
My 8 year old got her ears pierced Friday….and is still smiling. I swear my face hurts from smiling because SHE is smiling so much. Yeah, life is good.
She’s still smiling. LOL
Other than a gazillion pushups and hours of shopping, I didn’t work out Saturday…but that’s ok, I can’t feel my arms. I made the mistake of posting this to my fb fan page. LOL!!!
My updated hair do! Feelin’ like a million bucks I must admit!!
Today was my sucktastic long run on the Dreadmill. I woke up late due to daylight savings (no surprise there), and all of the groups I knew that were running were probably sipping coffee as I poured myself out of bed at 8:30 am.
So this is all I had. And it was painful, let me tell you.
Miles are miles!
Last week I had 2 strength work outs, and 4 runs totaling 14 miles which ended the week 3 of marathon training strong.
I finished up the day with our traditional Sunday Supper. The hubby returned home tonight, tired, coming down with a cold and plain worn out. I hoped this would help recharge his batteries.
Baked Cod, twice baked spaghetti squash and Brussels sprouts with bacon wrapped dates stuffed with goat cheese. YUM!! I’ll post the recipe soon!
Bacon makes everything better!!!Sunday Supper!
How was your weekend? Did you get any miles logged? What’s your favorite “re-charge” food?
