life – Page 2 – Movin' it with Michelle

I have been reading several posts on “unplugging” more in the upcoming new year. This has something that I have been thinking about for quite some time. I started paying attention to how much time I WASTE ensuring I see everyone’s posts on Facebook, twitter, etc. HOURS sometimes each night are spent pouring myself over newsfeeds and tweets, tumblrs and IGs. Ugh…really?

And for what?

Sure it’s fun to keep up with my friends and family who live all over the world. It’s great to be able to see baby pictures and accomplishments. I really enjoy seeing race photos and family updates.

But wouldn’t it be better if I got a phone call or a text, telling all this very same information PERSONALLY to me? If they really wanted me to know what’s going on in their life, wouldn’t they reach out to me vs. having to blast it on social media? And vice versa as well…Couldn’t I just shoot a text out, or make a phone call to my loved ones vs. posting on FB?

Maybe…

But life gets busy, I understand that all too well. It’s hard to keep in touch, it’s hard to fit in a phone/text conversation when our lives are…so busy? Are we really that busy? If we have enough time to sit on social media for a length of time, couldn’t we use that time differently to communication with one friend, family member or loved once twice each week? It’s a catch 22 of sorts, for sure…

So my goal, moving forward is to do two things…this is a two things Tuesday post, right?

1. Unplug more from social media. I will do this by not checking fb AT ALL during the day on my breaks/lunch etc. I will keep my IG account, because I love photography, but the same thing goes. I will only check it after my youngest daughter goes to bed. Both my kids deserve more attention. I will also make an effort to make at least one phone call each week, to catch up with a loved one. I do realize text conversations would better for some, so that works too. Dust off your ear pieces and thumbs my friends. 🙂

2. Continue putting more efforts into my blog/writing of my cookbook venture. I really am proud that I actually stuck with it for the better part of 2014, so I truly hope 2015 rolls in with continued successful efforts.

I hope with my proposed plan of unplugging somewhat will form a habit that lasts a lifetime. Realizing we all have choices, I do know that social media CAN be a blessing so I won’t unplug completely. I will however start living more of MY life, vs. scrolling newsfeeds about OTHER’S lives. No offense, gang. ❤

Happy Holidays, y’all!

❤ Michelle

Friday

Searching for my Christmas spirit this year…

December 20, 2014 Movin' it with Michelle

Thursday I received a text from my sister. I yet again, for the second year in a row, ordered the WRONG gift for my youngest nephew…and I also shipped said gift TO my sister, not my home. The news nearly sent me over the edge, and between that moment and the lack of sunshine for the last MONTH it seems, I found myself in tears. I was ready for this season to be OVER.

This…isn’t me. I LOVE Christmas, the magic the season provides, the thrill of lights, glitter, and lovingly wrapped gifts usually gives me SUCH joy. But this year is different. I am stressed, tired, and over the entire season hearing my kids ask for expensive gifts our budget just can’t provide. It HURTS not being able to spoil my kids during this season…but I got them what I could, and have their presents wrapped neatly under the tree.

So as I left work Thursday, in a ball of stress and tears combined, I found myself turning in to the parking lot of Hobby Lobby to pick up treats for my coworkers and staff. I picked out cute candy boxes with more than enough candy to fill said boxes, and cards and candy canes for my peers. I needed to turn this funk around, ASAP. I picked up my youngest daughter from daycare, explaining to her my plan, and she beamed. “Mommy, can I help you assemble the boxes?” she asked…”Of course,” I replied.

So after dinner, showers, and homework we set up shop on the kitchen table. I expressed my lack of spirit, to which this beautiful soul exclaimed, “Mommy, you always say I am the happiest girl in the world, so let me share my Christmas spirit with you.” I wiped away a couple tears, and we filled 30 boxes of candy with love, and spirit. I hand wrote on each box, and filled out cards taping a candy cane on each one. I also made cookies for my amazing team of techs, PA’s, and Pathologists. For I have to say, I work with the most amazing team of people, well, ever. My pay may stink, but these people are rock stars.

who doesn't love sugar cookies!? — who doesn’t love sugar cookies!?

Today I delivered my gifts, wishing each person a Merry Christmas, and ordered pizza for them all for lunch. And with each smile, I felt my daughter’s words resonating in my heart. I took the spirit she gave ME, and passed it forward.

At the end of the day, I received the most amazing gift and card from a woman I have come to love and cherish. She saw something in me years ago, that I didn’t see in myself, and helped me find my confidence again.

My eldest daughter could feel the stress too…but came down stairs tonight to ask me to braid her hair. She is 15, and normally wants nothing to do with me. But as I brushed her hair for the first time in years, I found myself choking back the tears. I took my time, for I truly didn’t want the moment to end. Ever so neatly I braided her hair, and she hugged me a little harder tonight.

I ended the night, watching a movie with my husband. We watched “Haute Cuisine” on Netflix which was such a great flic. It was about a cook who was hand picked to cook for the President of France. GREAT movie.

So as always, at the end of the day I am found counting my blessings, not my misfortunes. All thanks to the amazing people I have been blessed to call “my circle.”

❤ Michelle

food

Gravitational pull

December 9, 2014 Movin' it with Michelle

As of late, the dreary, cold, and bleak winter days have left me with little motivation to run. In fact, I only ran once last week and probably because I put it out there for all to see in order to hold myself accountable. I’m just not feeling it ~~again~~ this winter. Although our temps are actually quite manageable, leaving for work in the dark, and driving home from work again in the dark DRAINS me. Ultimately, winter blues suck. That. IS. ALL. My hubby and I DID sign up for a 5K on Sunday called the Underground Polar Express, where ALL proceeds go to Suicide Prevention/awareness, a cause that touches my heart. Check it out….www.undergroundpolarexpress.com

So I’ve really continued to pour myself into my cooking. (HAHA, see what I did there?) I’ve kept on with my studying recipes, techniques, and experimenting with different dishes. I have spent the better part of 2014 actually writing out my recipes, and pray I can get my E-book/Cookbook in the works next year. Why?

Well, because I know I meant to do something OTHER than work in a hospital. A job I didn’t choose for myself…But it’s been a good job for the last 24 years, and for that I am grateful. I think I am just at a point in my life where I KNOW I need to be doing something I LOVE. All the signs are there…pulling at me in a million directions. I just need to find my “IN” so to speak. I need someone else, other than my amazing family and friends SEE that I have a gift when it comes to creating food and say, “Hey…I think we could use talent like yours, let us mentor you…”

So yeah…that call hasn’t come yet. So I keep putting myself out there on social media, posting my recipes, my dreams, my goals…PRAYING someone out there will see the fire I have in my soul.

Sure…I love to run, and it’s a part of my life that I wouldn’t trade.

But I LOVE to cook. I love to create….to plate…to make my food not only pretty, but amazingly tasty too…

Even more…I love when someone takes a bite of my food, closes their eyes, and sighs in appreciation. PURE. BLISS.
Last night while watching the “Hundred foot journey” it hit me like a ton of bricks. The opening scene shows the main character, Hassan, as a young boy in small food market. There were dozens of people crowded around to buy some sea urchin. The merchant saw the crowd of screaming potential buyers, but he watched young Hassan pick up a single sea urchin, close his eyes, and deeply breathed in the fresh scent. He sighed, and took a small bite and smile. The merchant immediately sold the entire lot of sea urchin to Hassan and his Mother. Because he “GOT IT.” He recognized the beauty of the product, with the smells, the sight, and the taste of the food. And it hit me…THIS is what I do. I LOVE food. Good food. Fresh food. CREATING food.

Later on, as an adult Hassan made the 5 staple sauces of the French for his Chef friend. They can be found here: http://culinaryarts.about.com/od/sauces/tp/Mother-Sauces.htm

He starts cooking with her, and asks her if she thinks he is a real Chef, not just a cook. “Yes!!” She replies, in which my husband turned to me telling me he thinks I am real Chef…of course, I nearly cried. If you haven’t seen this movie, I recommend it highly.

At the end of the day, we have to provide for our families, often times doing jobs we don’t love. But as I’ve told my husband, “You just watch…ONE day I’ll make my mark on this world, and it’s going to be amazing.

Until then, I’ll keep movin’ forward.

❤ Michelle

dedication

I’m sorry…I don’t date.

November 19, 2014November 19, 2014 Movin' it with Michelle

I met a man on August 26th, 2003. Upon seeing him from across the room my breath was taken away. I whispered to my friend Kara, “I am going to marry that man.” But deep down I knew coming off a terrible divorce just 3 years prior that I had no intentions of marrying again…ever.

We talked that night, inside a smoky bar in Alaska. We danced. And we laughed…over and over. We were both stationed in Anchorage Alaska, he serving as a Paratrooper in the Army, me as a pathology technician in the Air Force. I’ll never forget that night…

After several drinks, laughter, smiles, and we shared an eye contact that couldn’t be broken. He gave me his number as the night came to a close, and I in turn gave him mine…”I don’t date though, I’m sorry…,” I proclaimed. I let him know that I was a single Mom, and my loyalty was in raising my daughter on my own. He smiled, and said he’d call me the next day.

And he called, the very next day. And every day there after…We talked for hours, yet it seemed not a minute passed by…we emailed short, sweet emails back and forth. Several days later he came over to my house, and I can honestly say it was love at first sight, all over again.

I tried to hide my emotion. I tried to tell him I couldn’t love him, or commit to him in a relationship. But just weeks later I found myself tethered to this man whom I loved and adored. He welcomed my daughter into his life, and he loved me with more passion than I can even describe. He. Loved. Me.

But I don’t date…

Six weeks into our relationship we received the news that he was due to deploy. In October. I didn’t have to wait…Please, it’s ok…he’d say repeatedly. But I knew. I KNEW. This was the man I was meant to be with for the rest of my life.

And so, on a cold and dreary morning in early October I waved farewell to the man of my dreams as he boarded a plane for Afghanistan. He didn’t think I would wait for him…Little did he know…

Because I don’t date…

But waited I did. I endured more sleepless nights than I care to admit. I lived for phone calls, emails, and watching the news for updates on his unit. His safety. We had many close calls. Many days when I cried more than I felt humanly possible. But I had my daughter to keep me strong. I did all I could to hide my sadness from her. And SHE. was my rock at the young age of four years old.

Because remember, I don’t date…I was married to my child in all honesty.

He returned home 11 months later, and on August 29th, 2004 this very same man proposed marriage to me. To which I accepted with tears in my eyes and happiness in my heart. He. Chose. Me. I was enough for this amazing man.

And now, as we are just a week before we will celebrate our 10 years of marriage, I find myself reflecting. Good times, bad times, hard ships, LIFE. But in the end, laughter and our unending love got us through it all…

Because I don’t date…

Instead, I married the man of my dreams, and I wouldn’t trade a second of our journey. We’ve been through so very much, lived in several different states, lost loved ones, broken careers, financial hardships, you name it…but at the end of the day, we have THIS. Thank you dear Brian, for always being my smile.

❤ Michelle

moving forward

Reborn…

November 18, 2014 Movin' it with Michelle

Nearly 42 years ago, I was born on January 17th with a weight of 2 lbs, 11 (?) ounces…My due date was in March some time (St. Patty’s day I believe?) but I decided to bless the world with my presence early. WAY early in that day and age and upon my arrival my parents told me I was said not I wouldn’t live. They baptized me in the hospital, as well as giving me my last rights. And then came the on going wait…

But after several weeks (it may have been months, the story sadly is not fresh in my memory) in the ICU, in an incubator, I was sent home. I fought hard to live…to breathe…to BE.

My earliest memory is of me at around age 3, but I am told as an infant my Mother dressed me in doll clothes because preemie outfits didn’t exist back then. My Father could place my head in his hand, and my toes wouldn’t reach the crock of his elbow. I was TINY.

Yet my fighter instinct set in, and I was ready for a life of fighting, struggling, and movin’ forward. Tell me I am not going to make it another day, and despite my initial want to throw in the towel I will fight back twice as hard as anyone else.

Looking back I remember so many times when I hit rock bottom (or so I thought) and I wanted to give up. I’ve learned though…there is no ROCK BOTTOM…it’s simply a stepping stone to move forward.

I never quit. And no matter the circumstance, I am constantly reminded by God up above that he gave me the blessing of life. He saved me, more times than I can count and now it is up to me to save myself from the day to day life battles I encounter. It’s up to me. And I’m not ready to quit…in life, in training, in regards to my family and friends, in my career. I won’t. Give. Up.

photo credit, World Prematurity Day on Facebook

With World Prematurity day honored today, I am reminded of the life I’ve been given…and I won’t waste another second of this precious gift. #keepmovinforward

❤ Michelle

moving forward, running

One week to go…squelcher and all…

September 13, 2014 Movin' it with Michelle

I have been battling sickness for the entire week. My PTO bank is nearly empty, and I have a race to run in just over one week.

So what did I do tonight, after a long day at work?

I cooked. I washed my hands, cleared my throat, took my sinus meds, took another deep breath…and I cooked. I made my famous chicken soup, of course, because what else do you eat when you aren’t feeling well?

The recipe can be found here: https://movinitwithmichelle.com/2014/01/06/simply-chicken-soup/

This week has been a toughy…sickness, seeing so many lose loved ones, and just in general discord lead me to write this post.

Because at the end of the day, isn’t it all about what brings us joy?

So tonight I dusted off my knives, prepared dinner with my youngest sous chef by my side, reminding myself not to be the squelcher of joy in my kids lives. Because sadly, I have found myself being a squelcher.

What is a squelcher you ask? It’s the one who constantly nags, clean you room, get your elbows off the table, do your chores, oh, and is your homework done all on a Friday night when they should be able to let their hair down…meh, I suck sometimes.

So tonight, I shut my trap. I let it all be. I called my Mom, like any 41 year old woman does, and I vented, chatted, and laughed. I listened to my kids banter. I welcomed my husband’s kisses…and I just smiled.

This weekend I will celebrate my eldest daughter’s 15th birthday one week early. I will rest. And I will mentally prepare for our half marathon NEXT weekend.

What are you up to this weekend?

❤ Michelle

goals, moving forward, Three things, Thursday

Three things, Thursday…

September 12, 2014 Movin' it with Michelle

1. I haven’t ran in 6 days…after a wonderful weekend in Chicago this past weekend, I caught my death with who knows which strand of flu. I felt it hit Monday night and it took it’s toll on my body, and my mental strength to say the least. I have prided myself in my mental strength over the years not only in regards to running, but life in general as I’ve been hit with more than I’d wish on my worst enemy in my lifetime. But Tuesday night after being sent home from work (NEVER happens) I cried. I’ve worked so hard this summer training with my husband for his first half marathon, to not run for a WEEK is killer to the mind and soul. Because if I don’t run, well, he doesn’t either…so I hope this doesn’t hurt HIM in our race next weekend. We are going to run tomorrow, regardless of how I feel…I don’t want to let him down.

2. I am in awe of the friends and family who reached out to me this week. My immediate family, friends both near and far, and even coworkers texted to see if I needed anything. I feel. so. loved. Additionally, I realized I need to stop chasing people who just don’t give a shit about me even if they are blood. I’ve unfollowed several this week, and will continue to squelch negative energy from my life. For I have so many blessings that surround me. Chasing long lost hopes for relationships that used to exist is a waste of my blood, sweat, and tears. Just because you were close to someone decades ago, doesn’t mean that relationship will last. Move on. ‘Nuff said.

3. Today marked the 13th anniversary of the September 11th bombings. I never do very well on this day…I remember the call, the terror, and the sense of urgency that was felt while I was stationed at Scott Air Force Base, IL in 2001. I remember working more hours than I can count that day as our blood donor center was activated. I remember the buzz of the Humvees that circled the base’s perimeter. I remember my friends and I huddled in my tiny trailer home, tightly snuggled on my couch, watching the news and people falling from the top of the towers. I remember tears, pain, and a newfound love for my Air Force family. We were bonded so closely, but this brought us even closer together. Our lives, will never be the same, and if asked I could name every single person that sat with me on that grave evening.

This post has no pictures, gifs, or the like.

It’s simply a real post of ME, and all I have held close to me in my 41 years.

And it encompasses my mantra…#keepmovinforward

depression

A smile was lost today, RIP Robin Williams

August 12, 2014 Movin' it with Michelle

I don’t often blog about my history of depression. I’ve shared my story in the past, but in moving forward I’ve tried to keep the details and situations I’ve dealt with where they belong…and that is in the past. I have learned, grown, and pushed myself out of some pretty dark places in my life. And I know that does not make me special in any way, nor do I feel like I am someone to be looked up to or held at a higher esteem because I didn’t give up.

Because I wanted to give up.

More times than I can count.

I’ve cried, screamed, and pounded my hands on my steering wheel while driving home because it was the only place I could do it privately.

During many a run, I had to stop and hold back the tears…

I wanted to just throw in the towel, believing at the time(s) that the world would be a better place without me in it…Yet I thankfully was reminded quite quickly I’d be missed, and that I was loved. No matter the darkness I often embodied…

I was loved. I just needed to love myself.

I needed. To love. Myself.

And it took nearly 4 decades to do just this…

Wait for it…

I love who I am becoming. It’s a daily challenge, and I am taking it full force.

Finally, I have found my true north, within my own soul. I am, my own compass.

I still hate my hair…my mid section…oh, and that darn cellulite that has dug it’s ever living claws in to my back side. Oh, and can someone pass over the Botox for my wrinkles? LOL! jk

But inside, I am finding out who I am more and more every day. I have remained tried and true to my beliefs. I don’t let others dictate how I feel ~~most days~~ daily.

Yet today, I found myself choking back the sobs in hearing the news of Robin Williams death. Not only because we’ve lost a true SMILE that visited millions of lives, but because I’ve been there…in that dark hour where there seems to be no way out. I used to actually get mad at my Mother for smiling/staring at me because I hated myself so much. Gosh I was such a shit.

But we’ve moved forward…reconciled and I am reveling in the fact that it is NEVER too late.

Yet sadly, it’s too late for Robin Williams. The social stigma and criticism of depression has so many people hiding behind clothes doors refusing to ask for help. And sadly this case is no different.

With that, I ask you to be kind. Be real. Embrace the fact that you may not understand what other people are going through, but a kind thought, word, or message can make someone’s day.

This week, my miles are dedicated to those suffering from depression. Both past and present.

Here are some of my favorite quotes from Robin Williams:

“I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone, it’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel alone.”

“You will have bad times, but they will always wake you up to the stuff you weren’t paying attention to.”

“I believe in destiny. There must be a reason that I am as I am. There must be.”

So my challenge for you this week, is to dedicate one mile to someone that is suffering. Who’s with me?

❤ Michelle

dedication

A Trifecta of Birthdays

August 11, 2014 Movin' it with Michelle

I didn’t run this weekend. Nope. Not one single mile. This past week I haven’t felt 100%, and between party planning, work, house cleaning and cooking for my daughter’s birthday party I was only able to manage one 4 miler this past week, two walks, and one strength training session. And guess what? I am totally ok with that. My stomach seems to get very angry when I am under stress, so I did what I could to keep moving.

Monday-4 mile run in terrible humidity

Tuesday-2 mile walk

Wednesday-cleaned my house and got ready for the bday party

Thursday-1.5 mile walk and stretching and painting my front porch (that counts, right?)

Friday-The birthday weekend started so no workout! I had to work late, so found myself zipping through town to pick up a gift for my friend Jitka’s surprise birthday party.

Friday night was just a blast. We all planned a surprise party for my dear friend Jitka. Seeing her face as she walked in the door of the restaurant was priceless, and the sheer joy could be felt throughout the room.

Debra, Jitka and myself cheesin' for the camera — Debra, Jitka and myself cheesin’ for the camera

Sushi with great friends...doesn't get much better! — Sushi with great friends…doesn’t get much better!

Saturday I was up early to get ready for my youngest daughter’s 8th birthday party. My parents were driving in, as well as my sister and her family and so many awesome friends and neighbors. Slight drama ensued as my toilet lid broke off the night before, so after 2 trips to Home Depot (note-universal toilet seats go by the shape of your toilet. I learned my bowl is ROUND, not oval, LOL), a trip to pick up balloons, and picking up the cake and we were ready to get this party started!!!!

This little person took the time to read each and every card. She has such a big heart.

THIS...this is what makes my world go 'round...family, friends, and fun. — THIS…this is what makes my world go ’round…family, friends, and fun.

My wonderful parents... — My wonderful parents…

Bouncy houses make everything better, and the adults even had fun bouncing!

I was blessed to have my oldest niece spend the night, and today was her 15th birthday. WHA???????????????? Where did the time go? I woke up the eldest children early despite grumbling and we enjoyed a yummy birthday breakfast.

Jordyn and Jenna <3 — Jordyn and Jenna ❤

My day ended with a much needed nap, and now as I sit here writing while listening to my laundry whirl in the dryer I find myself feeling so very blessed. Despite a rough week last week, it all came full circle and I realize I have the best friends and family EVER. Ok, I may be partial, but it’s true. I thank you ALL for being a part of my life.

❤ Michelle

Thursday

Three Things, Thursday

August 7, 2014 Movin' it with Michelle

Three things, Thursday…

Sometimes we try really hard in life but just can’t seem to get one foot ahead of it all. It all being issues that relate to our careers, our hobbies, fitness, relationships…well, all things LIFE related. Right? I used to be a pretty go with the flow type of person, but I have noticed that the last couple of years I have so much LESS patience when it comes to all things fake/lying/negative/mis-treatment of me or my friends/family. What the heck am I talking about? Bear with me here…I’ve been up since 2 a.m. I will keep this sort of vague to protect feelings, but last night and today I found myself very HURT. It seems, that you are truly often damned if you do/damned if you don’t. Last night I ‘did’ and it slapped in the face like a hot dagger. And it made me very sad. So what did I do? I called my Mom…because although we only talk once every few weeks or so, talking to your Mom makes everything better, even at the age of 41.

Sometimes I feel this way... — Sometimes I feel this way…

Tonight after work, instead of going home and cooking a nice dinner I have to go to…THE DENTIST. I loath the dentist, in fact, believe I woke up at 2 a.m. due to anxiety of said appointment. My stomach hurts, I have a headache, and yeah…I get to have my teeth drilled on for almost 2 hours tonight. Looks like I will be missing my Thursday run, and having that extra glass of wine tonight. (We got back together, don’t judge-lol).

Thankfully my dentist looks NOTHING like this... — Thankfully my dentist looks NOTHING like this…

Despite my icky night and lack of sleep I still came to work with a smile. I work with a pretty crazy group, and they make smiling so much easier every day. We also ordered stuffed pretzles for lunch from a local place called “Gnarly Knots” along with soup and they were DELISH. I chose a plain salted pretzle with French onion soup. What’s not to smile about?

Questions-

Do you ever feel like you’re hitting you head against the wall in regards to certain aspects of your life?

What medical appointment, if any, do you despise?

What makes you smile?

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