Tag: deployment

Celebrate the good, Deployment thoughts

The Final FINAL Countdown

Movin' it with Michelle

You’ve got that song in your head now, don’t you…ROFL!!!

Gosh…where do I begin.

Wait. I know. MY HUSBAND IS SAFE ON U.S. soil!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Does it get any better than that?  Gosh, I can’t even tell you the weight I feel that has lifted from my heart/shoulders. I received this picture from a fellow Army wife late on Saturday evening and I couldn’t. STOP. STARING. That smile says it all…and that smile has been missing from my life for a year now. But I feel the effects it brings to my life by looking at this picture, so pardon me while I give it another look…<3  But I digress….LOL!

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My daughters asked me what I wanted for my birthday. I immediately said one last girls trip to the city before their Daddy gets home. So, Saturday the girls and I went to the city for the day. I had pre-planned this before knowing of the anti-Trump and women’s marches so I was a little apprehensive after seeing all the riots in D.C. after the inauguration. Thankfully everything was peaceful and had disbanded before we got downtown. We spent the day eating, walking around the city, and catching the sites at the Shedd Aquarium. The weather was beautiful and I couldn’t have asked for a better day.

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I’ve reached the final stage of this deployment, which I like to call the “nesting phase.” I am cleaning like a mad woman, and recleaning what I’ve already cleaned just to make sure it’s clean. Yes, I know my husband could care less about anything other than the fridge being stocked with beer and wine, but hey…I couldn’t help it. Both our fridges are scrubbed, cleaned, and checked all expiration dates. (Can you tell I work in a lab? LOL). I also scrubbed (with the help from Soph) my bathroom, and vacuumed and dusted the entire house. Don’t worry, I am sure I’ll do it 3 more times before he comes home. And while I can’t say what day he’ll be home…I can officially say it will be LATE NEXT WEEK. Yes…I said NEXT week…all the feels!! WOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

My next post is going to go over the highs and lows of this deployment. I have learned so much about myself and others, as well as made some wonderful memories with my daughters that will last a lifetime. I will forever be grateful to those who not only are there to celebrate the highs, but have carried me during the lows…for these are priceless gems in my life. #foreverfriends

Thanks to YOU ALL for joining me on this year long journey. I truly appreciate you hanging around even though this blog is for running and recipes as well. Real life took over, but you know what? I wouldn’t change a single thing.

The final countdown is ON until I am snuggled safely in my husband’s arms, and I CANNOT wait! ❤

Cheers!

Michelle

Deployment thoughts, Uncategorized

30 weeks

Movin' it with Michelle

209 days ago my husband left for his deployment. 209. That’s a long. Freaking. Time.

We’ve had a lot of heart ache. A lot of growth. A lot of struggle. Many steps forward lead to even more steps taken backward.  But always deciding to move forward regardless. 

But every day we started anew. Sometimes with hard feelings from the argument the night before. Sometimes with such a heavy sadness that the physical ache in my chest started to concern me. But almost always we started with a hug, a kind word or just the presence of each other as we started our day. Together. Me and my girls.


My girls are my tribe. I see that so very clearly now. Looking back on wasted energy and jealousy of those who had these amazing groups of friends and social life makes me a little sad. Why would I not just look right in front of me?  Despite all of our conflict these girls are my constant. My reason for being at least for now. They won’t always need me but they do now. And I’m thankful for that. Because together we keep moving forward.  

30 weeks. Broken toilets, house repairs, teenage drama, work stress, heart breaks, missed holidays and birthdays, missed life events and everything that could go wrong that went wrong. And we’re still movin’ my friends. 

Take that deployment curse. 

And yes. I fixed my power washer all by myself and washed the deck and windows tonight to celebrate. 


Because I can do hard things. Even when I think I can’t. 

Cheers! 

Michelle

Deployment thoughts

Tuesday truths

Movin' it with Michelle

I haven’t worked out very much in the last few weeks since getting the news of my husband’s deployment.  (FYI-I’ll be discussing a lot about what I am going through with my husband getting deployed – to include the next few months of preparation and the year long deployment. Please bear with me as this is a much needed outlet.)  Between lack of sunlight and lack of physical/mental strength I’ve just sort of been going through the motions of work, and home life.  I’ve managed a couple runs each week, and planking 4-5 times each week, but that’s about it.

I do however, cry. Kind of a lot. I sure try not to do it in front of my husband or kids, but sometimes I just can’t seem to wrap my brain around another year of worry for my husband’s safety.  This man is the rock I lean on, for everything.  And maybe I didn’t realize it truly until receiving this news, but it’s become very apparent that I need him as much as I want him in my life, and that maybe I am not as strong as I thought.  And with tomorrow being Veteran’s day and all the shows and commercials on T.V. I’ve found that lately it’s just all a bit too much.  So then I cry some more…Gah.  Stick a fork in me already! :/

I’m going to attempt to run on the treadmill this week and my friend Teri invited me to run with her this weekend.  I really need to let myself have ‘my things’ too, because in the last few weeks of doing everything for everyone else but me have left me very…tired.

Today my sister reminded me that it’s ok to feel this way, but to not waste the next few months I DO have with him being sad.  I suppose it’s just hard because even though he’s still “here” he really isn’t because he’s knees deep in preparation for the deployment, working longer days than I can even fathom. He truly is my hero.

This afternoon my husband texted me thanking me for all of the love and support and that he understood how hard this was on me.  And sometimes just hearing that helps lighten the load, even if just a little.

I truly appreciate everyone’s amazing support through all of this craziness.  It really has helped knowing I am not going to do this alone!!!!

❤

Michelle

dedication

I’m sorry…I don’t date.

Movin' it with Michelle

I met a man on August 26th, 2003.  Upon seeing him from across the room my breath was taken away.  I whispered to my friend Kara, “I am going to marry that man.”  But deep down I knew coming off a terrible divorce just 3 years prior that I had no intentions of marrying again…ever.

We talked that night, inside a smoky bar in Alaska.  We danced.  And we laughed…over and over.  We were both stationed in Anchorage Alaska, he serving as a Paratrooper in the Army, me as a pathology technician in the Air Force.  I’ll never forget that night…

After several drinks, laughter, smiles, and we shared an eye contact that couldn’t be broken.  He gave me his number as the night came to a close, and I in turn gave him mine…”I don’t date though, I’m sorry…,” I proclaimed.  I let him know that I was a single Mom, and my loyalty was in raising my daughter on my own.  He smiled, and said he’d call me the next day.

And he called, the very next day.  And every day there after…We talked for hours, yet it seemed not a minute passed by…we emailed short, sweet emails back and forth.  Several days later he came over to my house, and I can honestly say it was love at first sight, all over again.

I tried to hide my emotion.  I tried to tell him I couldn’t love him, or commit to him in a relationship.  But just weeks later I found myself tethered to this man whom I loved and adored.  He welcomed my daughter into his life, and he loved me with more passion than I can even describe.  He. Loved. Me.

But I don’t date…

Six weeks into our relationship we received the news that he was due to deploy.  In October.  I didn’t have to wait…Please, it’s ok…he’d say repeatedly.  But I knew.  I KNEW.  This was the man I was meant to be with for the rest of my life.

And so, on a cold and dreary morning in early October I waved farewell to the man of my dreams as he boarded a plane for Afghanistan.  He didn’t think I would wait for him…Little did he know…

Because I don’t date…

But waited I did.  I endured more sleepless nights than I care to admit.  I lived for phone calls, emails, and watching the news for updates on his unit.  His safety.  We had many close calls.  Many days when I cried more than I felt humanly possible.  But I had my daughter to keep me strong.  I did all I could to hide my sadness from her.  And SHE. was my rock  at the young age of four years old.

Because remember, I don’t date…I was married to my child in all honesty.

He returned home 11 months later, and on August 29th, 2004 this very same man proposed marriage to me.  To which I accepted with tears in my eyes and happiness in my heart.  He. Chose. Me.  I was enough for this amazing man.

And now, as we are just a week before we will celebrate our 10 years of marriage, I find myself reflecting.  Good times, bad times, hard ships, LIFE.  But in the end, laughter and our unending love got us through it all…

Because I don’t date…

Instead, I married the man of my dreams, and I wouldn’t trade a second of our journey.  We’ve been through so very much, lived in several different states, lost loved ones, broken careers, financial hardships, you name it…but at the end of the day, we have THIS.  Thank you dear Brian, for always being my smile.

This...is US.
This…is US.

❤ Michelle