Friday

Searching for my Christmas spirit this year…

Thursday I received a text from my sister.  I yet again, for the second year in a row, ordered the WRONG gift for my youngest nephew…and I also shipped said gift TO my sister, not my home.  The news nearly sent me over the edge, and between that moment and the lack of sunshine for the last MONTH it seems, I found myself in tears.  I was ready for this season to be OVER.

This…isn’t me.  I LOVE Christmas, the magic the season provides, the thrill of lights, glitter, and lovingly wrapped gifts usually gives me SUCH joy. But this year is different.  I am stressed, tired, and over the entire season hearing my kids ask for expensive gifts our budget just can’t provide.  It HURTS not being able to spoil my kids during this season…but I got them what I could, and have their presents wrapped neatly under the tree.

So as I left work Thursday, in a ball of stress and tears combined, I found myself turning in to the parking lot of Hobby Lobby to pick up treats for my coworkers and staff.  I picked out cute candy boxes with more than enough candy to fill said boxes, and cards and candy canes for my peers.  I needed to turn this funk around, ASAP.  I picked up my youngest daughter from daycare, explaining to her my plan, and she beamed.  “Mommy, can I help you assemble the boxes?” she asked…”Of course,” I replied.

So after dinner, showers, and homework we set up shop on the kitchen table. I expressed my lack of spirit, to which this beautiful soul exclaimed, “Mommy, you always say I am the happiest girl in the world, so let me share my Christmas spirit with you.”  I wiped away a couple tears, and we filled 30 boxes of candy with love, and spirit. I hand wrote on each box, and filled out cards taping a candy cane on each one.  I also made cookies for my amazing team of techs, PA’s, and Pathologists.  For I have to say, I work with the most amazing team of people, well, ever.  My pay may stink, but these people are rock stars.

who doesn't love sugar cookies!?
who doesn’t love sugar cookies!?

Today I delivered my gifts, wishing each person a Merry Christmas, and ordered pizza for them all for lunch. And with each smile, I felt my daughter’s words resonating in my heart.  I took the spirit she gave ME, and passed it forward.

Not much, but given with love!
Not much, but given with love!

At the end of the day, I received the most amazing gift and card from a woman I have come to love and cherish.  She saw something in me years ago, that I didn’t see in myself, and helped me find my confidence again.

Best. Gift. Ever.
Best. Gift. Ever.

My eldest daughter could feel the stress too…but came down stairs tonight to ask me to braid her hair. She is 15, and normally wants nothing to do with me.  But as I brushed her hair for the first time in years, I found myself choking back the tears.  I took my time, for I truly didn’t want the moment to end.  Ever so neatly I braided her hair, and she hugged me a little harder tonight.

I ended the night, watching a movie with my husband.  We watched “Haute Cuisine” on Netflix which was such a great flic.  It was about a cook who was hand picked to cook for the President of France.  GREAT movie.

So as always, at the end of the day I am found counting my blessings, not my misfortunes.  All thanks to the amazing people I have been blessed to call “my circle.”

❤ Michelle

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19 thoughts on “Searching for my Christmas spirit this year…

  1. You’re amazing Michelle!! I love that, at the end of the day, you found joy and happiness for the holiday season!! You’re the best!! Such a beautiful post!! I know what you mean, though- it’s easy to get caught up in the stress. Have a fantastic weekend!! XOXO

  2. I am right there with you, Michelle. This holiday season has not been joyful for me either. I’m not sure why, because I always have loved this time of year. The highlight for me so far was our run last Sunday.

    Thanks for sharing your feelings and thoughts.

  3. The holidays are tough. What a precious thing for your sweet daughter to say. I’m glad you took her words to heart. How great you work with such awesome people. You made beautiful, thoughtful gifts!

  4. Christmas time – it can be joyous but it can also be so, so stressful. I always feel like I’ve got a whole other job to do for about six weeks ahead of the date. Trying to buy the right presents for everyone can feel like an insurmountable task. I often have to remind myself that the world will not end if I don’t get it exactly right, That the joy of the season is spending time with the people you love.

  5. Your firt sentence stopped me in my tracks, Michelle. You got a text from your sister? I only wish my sister would text me sometime. I mean, she will, eventually, if I text her first.
    Just remember, Christmas will soon be over. Enjoy it while it lasts.

  6. I always struggle with Christmas. My mom died 21 years ago on Christmas day and it was her holiday. I stopped celebrating Christmas for a while bc it was just too hard. Now that I have a son, it has become a little bit easier for me to get into the spirit. I cope with yoga and cookies 🙂 Your daughter sounds so sweet!

  7. This is so touching! Your daughters have truly been raised by you 🙂 I hope the rest of your week leading up to Christmas and beyond is much less stressful. Enjoy the time with your family ❤

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