moving forward, Uncategorized

Angels, Blessings, and Clarity

Gosh, it’s been a while since I’ve posted.  I wish I could say that life has just been busy and that my days have been filled with work, running and everything in between.  But that would be a lie.  I haven’t been running since last weekend.  And I am in week 5 of marathon training!  What?  But just wait.

Monday morning I woke up like I do every Monday morning, and I went through my daily routine.  Something felt off, but I shook it off and hit the road.  My left contact was being snarky and I kept blinking and trying to get it to just chill out.  Finally I just sighed, pulled over and took it out.  It was blurred and irritating my eye and I wasn’t going to let it ruin my day.  I drove on, listening to K-Love Christian music radio and found myself being compelled to pray for my family’s safety.  I had no idea why, but when the pull comes from the big man upstairs, I follow His direction.  Little did I know what would happen later that very same day…

The phone call came just 5 minutes after arriving home with S.  We had our sandwich stuff spread out on the kitchen counter like a factory line knowing our time is short on Monday’s due to ballet practice being just an hour after we arrive home.  My phone rang, and J’s name came across the screen.  It was 5 minutes to 5 P.M. which is when she was due home.  My heart jumped when a strangers voice came through the ear piece telling me that J was in an accident and that I needed to come quick.  I grabbed S, and we flew out the door to the intersection where the accident took place.

We arrived at the scene just 5 minutes later, and as I sprinted hand in hand with S, I saw my baby laid out on a stretcher with a neck brace and I fell to my knees.  The police men steadied me as I knelt next to her, trying my hardest to be calm yet finding myself shaking uncontrollably.  She would be transported to the local hospital and as I started to run to my Jeep, Sgt. G. stopped me.  “Ma’am, you are in no condition to drive.  Let me take you and your youngest to the hospital.”  I smiled through my tears, and thanked him profusely.  This man was the first of many Angels I’d meet in the next couple of days.

As we flew down Randall Road, with the ambulance in sight just behind us I wrapped my arms around my youngest and prayed.  “Please God, keep J safe, let her be ok, heal her please,” among many other rambled prayers kept repeating in my head.  Please…I…I can’t lose this child who taught me to love life again.  I can’t be without my first born…I can’t.  As much as I complain about the struggles of being a Mom to a 15 year old girl, I would take it all back just for her to be OK.  Please.  PLEASE?!?

We arrived at the ER shortly, and as the officer handed me her back pack that had been cut off her so they could triage her I found myself without words.  He went to shake my hand and wish me well, but I hugged him instead thanking him for all that he did for us.  He seemed almost surprised, but promised me everything would be ok.

We had two more Angels greet us at the hospital.  Nurse Melissa, and Nurse Leah.  They tended to J’s every need, going out of their way to make sure she was comfortable for her entire stay, and during her CAT scan.  And when the news was delivered to us that she had skull fractures and bleeding in her brain and that we’d need to be transferred to a higher level trauma center, they made sure that I was ok.  I told my husband to take our youngest home to stay with friends, and he would meet us later at the new hospital.  And these two Angels helped hold me up when I just wanted to curl up and cry.  I will be forever grateful.

The next 48 hours were a bit of a blur.  We got checked in to the new ER, had more CAT scans which showed no improvement so we were moved to the Pediatric ICU. We were met by more amazing nurses and medical staff that treated us as of we were the only patients in the hospital.  I can’t say enough about the wonderful care we received.  Tuesday we had a repeat scan that showed the swelling had gone down and the bleeding had stopped.  We would continue to monitor for the morning, and were eventually moved to a regular room.  In comes my next Angel.

It had been 2 days since I’d showered, slept, or felt even half human.  I couldn’t cry anymore, and although my J was improving the fear that the tables could turn at any moment was (is) very real.  My sister texted me several times asking what she could do, or if I needed anything.  Then at around 10:30 she said forget it, she was on her way and not to argue.  She walked in the door, hugged us all and sat with us for a couple hours.  Seeing how tired I was she offered to drive me home so I could grab a quick nap and shower.  Mind you, she drove an hour FURTHER away from her house to get me home, well, because she’s just that awesome.  ❤

Tuesday night one of my co-workers came to visit for a bit, and it just reminded me of the amazing people I have in my life.  Countless texts, prayers, phone calls and reminders that J was being lifted up by EVERYONE were pouring in faster than I could keep up with.  She just HAD to be ok.  The doctors and nurses came in several times to check on her, and by Wednesday morning it appeared our prayers had been answered.  They hoped she would be ready to go home that afternoon.  She just needed to be able to eat, walk around a bit, and use the restroom. And that she did…she even got a little snarky which was a GREAT sign!!

So here we are, home from one of the toughest few weeks of my life, and I am humbled and grateful.  I haven’t gone more than a couple hours without crying both in tears of fear, and tears of gratitude for God’s graces.  I’ve counted, and recounted my blessings, and I have thanked everyone involved this week as many times as possible.

Looking back at the start of my week, I am moved by the fact that my vision was physically blurred and that I felt compelled to pray. And as I helped my 15 year old bathe tonight (for the first time in MANY years) I was moved to tears as she said quietly, “Thank you, Mommy,” after I helped her dress.  “Will you brush and dry my hair,” she asked?  I asked if drying her hair would bother her to which she said she’d let me know.  And it didn’t thankfully…So I gently brushed her hair, dried it on the lowest setting, and ran my fingers through her hair.  I turned the dryer off while her hair was still damp to which she said, “A little longer, please?”  I smiled through my tears, thanked God yet again for his healing and protection to my amazing little girl, for my amazing family and friends, and for the Angels that abounded through this tragic event.

Our road isn’t cleared yet, as we have follow up with Neurology, Ophthalmology, and Pediatrics to make sure she’s healing and progressing.  But at this moment, my vision has never been more clear. My baby is going to be OK.  God truly does work miracles!!!!

My J.  <3
My J. ❤

Thanks for all the thoughts and prayers!

Keep Movin’ forward, y’all!

❤ Michelle