My name is Michelle and I am a retired Air Force Master Sergeant. I have found a passion for running, cooking, writing, photography and all things that move my love for life! I've ran 3 full marathons, with a PR of 4:25, and 17 half marathons with a PR of 2:00:11 (yup-missed sub 2 by 11 seconds, lol). Thanks for joining me on my journey!
Happy Groundhogs day!!!! I know, I know, seems something silly to celebrate, right? But it hit me today that I need to celebrate every little happy moment, especially now.
photo cred: groundhogsdayprediction.com
Why?
Well, after having to cancel my lunch date with my husband yesterday as we were both off from work for ONCE in a very long time due to our youngest feeling ill and having to be pick up from school, we decided to make the most of it and rent a movie.
Martian was really great and it was nice to just hunker down and snuggle. We made the most of the day, and got in some much needed family time. #celebrate That’s happy moment number 1 for this week.
This morning I headed out the door with my teen and a huge blow out ensued as we sat in the parking lot of her high school. “Why are you always yelling at me?” she cried out, to which I could only answer “Why are you always so disrespectful and mean just to ME?” A battle of the wits, and a never ending fight. Being a Mom is hard work. #sorrymom I drove to work in tears, wondering for the gazillionth time HOW I would do this for an entire year or more by myself.
I texted him when I arrived to work, choking back sobs and voicing my concerns. Sigh. There’s that big fat elephant sitting on my chest again.
My teen and I have talked, made amends, and agreed to have better lines of communication. A little less snark equals a lot less yelling, we both agreed. We’ve come to this agreement a hundred times before, and I am hoping this will be the one. Ok, I hope that each time, but hey, what’s wrong with a little hope. And there’s happy moment number 2.
photo cred: lifehack.org
What’s something happy that you’ve celebrated this week? Do you have parenting trials with your teens?
I thought about not linking up this week for my weekly wrap up with Holly and Tricia, but it’s been such a good way to keep me accountable, AND keep me writing vs. bottling up all my emotions, so here goes…
My week started out pretty darn good.
Monday I did a brisk walk on my dreadmill while dinner was cooking, just 3 miles, but felt good to stretch the legs. I also did the Tracy Anderson strength training video (30 minutes)
I met up with my friends for Tuesday night run club, and knocked out 6.5 miles at an average pace of 9:24. Not bad for this average runner.
My new jacket is SUPER reflective, I love it!
Wednesday-Pilates and core for 20 minutes
Thursday-rest and this is the day things took a downward dive.
Friday I was supposed to do my long run for the second week of marathon raining, see my Runfessions post, but ditched it since I wasn’t feeling well. Managed a few miles on the ‘mill. Nothing even pic-worthy LOL
All in all, my week was mediocre at best. The news that my husband leaves next week just has left me in an emotional tailspin, and the addition of the ever dreaded weekend duty this weekend has left my positive attitude falling a bit short. I have, though, delved into the Army wife network group that we’ve built on FB, and have been distracting myself by looking for yellow ribbons to pass out at the farewell ceremony. Sometimes when you are feeling low, it’s nice to help someone else…it not only makes THEM feel good, but you get good feels in return.
photo cred: wp.yellowribbonamerica.org
Saturday/Sunday I worked, and when I have weekend duty, sadly I have very little left in the tank for workouts. This afternoon when I arrived home, my youngest greeted me with warm hugs and a bright smile so I passed on the nap I was so looking forward to, lol. I did have a slight moment of panic, when our heater wasn’t turning on and the temps were dropping quickly in the house. I went down to the basement, realizing that I wasn’t sure which big box looking thing was the heater. How was I going to fix this? And then it hit me…I better figure it out, and quick. Thankfully the hubby was home, and I felt terrible waking him from HIS nap, as he just came off 21 days of duty and leaves again Wednesday. But he grinned tiredly, and fixed it. YAY. We have heat. CRAP. I couldn’t do it myself.
Yup, this sums up how I felt, LOL…all I can do is laugh, right?
How was your week? How do you handle set backs in regards to your training? For my women readers, are you handy around the house?
Today I am linking up with Marcia from Marcia’s Healthy slice for our monthly dose of Runfessions. Grab your drink of choice, snuggle up with your favorite blanket, and join us!
I runfess that despite being signed up for a full marathon in May, I have already sorta skipped my long run for week 2 of training. I was supposed to run yesterday since it was my only day off from work (on weekend duty at the hospital both Saturday and Sunday equates to mega life suck), but after dropping my daughter off at the bus, while still in my jammies #dontjudge my bed was calling me as my head pounded, and I took a 2 hour nap. I was going to go run with a friend, but she wasn’t feeling well either so we skipped it all together. Thankfully my plan called for a 7 miler, and I did 6.5 on Tuesday so it’s not a complete fail. Next week is a cut back week to 5 miles, so I should be ok…
I runfess that if I could, I would only wear running clothes and jammies during the winter months. I read on a fellow bloggers post, that she too loves her slippers and jammies and it made me realize that work clothes come off promptly after arriving home to be replaced with jammies and slippers, unless of course I am exercising/running. But even then, after my workout or run, it’s back to jammies after a nice hot shower. Is this normal?
See exhibit 1. I’ve been home for 12 minutes.
I runfess that with the recent news of my husband basically being gone three out of four weeks of February, has pushed me back a few steps. My “I am strong and can do all the hard things” has quickly changed back to “Please let me not cry all day every day, especially at work” and I hate it. Every day I see him more gone, and the distant smile or half laugh while we watch our shows for an hour before bed, because I know he’s TRYING to be present, makes my heart physically ache.
I runfess that today, while at work I almost did something bad. See, as the “relief supervisor” you have to carry this mobile phone with you, everywhere you go. You are at the beck and call of every nurse, doctor, technician and client, and the phone can often times ring NON-STOP while on duty. I have lovingly referred “RS” duty” as “really shitty” and “really stupid” because that’s how the doctors and nurses often treat the lab, and the RS supervisor gets the brunt of the mis-treatment. More times than not, I go home in tears and need a nap to shut out the shift. When I arrived on duty at 0615 hrs. this morning, the phone….was BROKEN. Halleluiah!!! Gah…I could leave my desk number so people could ahold of me that way. That would suffice, right? Nah…I called IT and had the phone fixed. Darn you integrity! LOL! **note-karma had my back today, I didn’t get yelled at ONCE today which is a miracle in of itself when it comes to weekend duty!
And that my friends, is a wrap. I hope you join us for Runfessions! What do you have to runfess?! Remember it can be anything!!
So just when I thought I had it all figured out, well, yeah…I was reminded that I’m only human. My husband is set to leave in the beginning of March. For an entire year. He’s been on orders (training) full time for the last 3 weeks straight. As in up at 4 A.M. for work and home just before 8 P.M. most nights. But what was saving me is that we’d at least have February to spend together as a family before he leaves. He’d go back to a regular-ish work week, and we’d see him at least a couple of the weekends in February. We’d have time to recharge before he leaves in March.
Or not.
Today I got the news that he had a lot of travel in February to prepare for the deployment. As in the first 3 weeks of February, he would be traveling. REALLY? After several tears, and even more F-bombs, it got me thinking about the many stages of deployment. I thought I’d share a few that have rang true with me through the many years of being an Army wife.
Sadness…as in, my chest feels as if a 10 ton elephant is sitting on my heart and squeezing the life out of my soul. Ok, that’s a bit extensive, but total true story.
Photo cred: gify.com
Fear…fear of the unknown for both me and my girls, and for my husband and his soldiers. Every. Single. Day. I will fear for his life, and nothing can change that fear.
photo cred: gify.com
Anger…even resentment for the passion he has for the Army, and the fact that his passion takes him away from his family, and puts himself in harms way. More so, anger towards the Army for taking him away from me so often. And I’ll admit that’s one of the toughest stages to deal with on a daily basis.
photo cred: gify.com
And lastly…but most importantly…PRIDE…because all the sadness, fear, anger, and every other emotion in the world can’t be topped with pride. For this man, MY husband, is protecting our country (and our country is in a pretty sad state these days), and for that, I need to be grateful , proud, and thankful. Because there aren’t many people out there anymore, that are willing to sacrifice their lives.
photo cred: gify.com
So while today I reminded him how much I think this FU@#%&*! sucks, and that I have NO idea how I would get through this without him, I am still so darn proud of him. I may or may not have a good cry in the shower, and I lost it at work today which I try to NEVER do, but man, I will keep telling myself that I WILL get through this. I’ve got no other choice, right?
Thanks for all of the continued thoughts and prayers. This year will be life changing for sure.
How do you deal with difficult situations, or family separations?
I was recently inspired by a healthy snacking social project put on by Nuts.com, so I wanted to share some of my favorites. There are also some GREAT ideas on this healthy snacking page that touch on all walks of life. Vegans, kids, high protein and quick snacks for work are just a few examples.
So I thought I’d share a few of my own favorites. First of which is my spicy chickpeas. These yummy morsels are packed full of protein, and you can easily snack on the go. Another quick “on the go” snack for me is, roasted pumpkin seeds. You can make your own with my recipe or buy store bought. They are high in protein, dietary fibers and micronutrients.
Pumpkin seeds, YUM!
Spicy roasted chick peas!
I’m a huge fan of roasted nuts of all kinds, really. These protein packs from Target are also something I love to have in the fridge because they are a wiser alternative to chips or pretzels. While I am not a big dairy eater, I do find these don’t upset my stomach.
Eggs…eggs, and MORE eggs. I hard boil a dozen or so on the weekends, and portion them out into baggies. Often times I’ll ditch the yolks, but sometimes I just eat the entire egg in 2-3 bites, LOL!!
Yup, that’s just for my work week. I eat at least 2 egg whites every day.
Fresh fruits and veggies are another go-to that I portion out so that I can easily grab and go!!!
Tonight I’ll admit, I wasn’t feeling so hot. I could’ve just hunkered down on the couch and felt sorry for myself. So instead, I whipped up a batch of my famous Chicken soup and did a quick Pilates core workout. Never miss a Monday, Right?!
What are you favorite healthy snacks? Do you try and meal prep in advance to help avoid temptation?
This weekly wrap up will be quick, because my hubby just got home from training THREE hours earlier than normal. #winning
Last week, I managed to work out 5/7 days. I ran 3 days, did 2 cardio workouts, and 2 strength training workouts. Today was my first official long run, of which I ran 6.14 miles and felt like I could’ve kept going for several more miles. WINNING.
Ninja? HEHE!
After my run, I made my favorite post run meal. EGGS!
It was hard to not have bacon too, but I am determined NOT to gain weight this time around.
When the hubby texted at 2:30 saying he was getting out at around 4:00 P.M. I decided to make a nice Sunday Supper of baked Salmon, Sweet potato puree` and roasted broccoli. Easy, elegant, and healthy!
I ❤ Salmon. I could eat it daily.
Hubby is almost out of the shower, and I am hanging on to every moment, so with that I bid you all goodnight!! I’m linking up with Holly and Tricia for the weekly wrap up! Please head over and check out the link up!
Are you training for any races right now? What’s your favorite post run meal? Do you gain weight during marathon training?
After thinking about my last post, I started focusing on the word STRENGTH. You know, people have always told me how strong I am, having been through more battles than most can dream of. I knew 2016 wouldn’t be a year that would focus on goals, or resolutions as some make with each new year. My goal would to get through this year with smiles, my sanity, and strength.
I’ve always prided myself as a mentally strong woman. I wasn’t always so, but years of practice tacking obstacles and struggles have proven to be on my side, because I just. don’t. quit.
In fact, when I resigned from the first civilian job I had back in 2013, I realized it was truly one of the first things I’d ever “quit” because I don’t count my divorce as quitting, I count that one as life saving. But I digress…
So two weeks ago, I decided it was time to start getting stronger physically. I downloaded the Tracy Anderson Transformation I series on our XBOX 1 and I am in a deep love/hate relationship with these 30 minute workouts. 1. They KICK MY BUTT, and there are burpees. YUCK. Yet…2. I am already seeing results just after the second week of doing the strength/muscle workouts 2-3 times per week, and the cardio workouts 2 times each week.
Amazing.
My arms are really getting their definition back! YAY!
I’m now officially down 8 lbs. from this time last year, and I am feeling stronger every day.
With this being my first “official” week of marathon training, I’ll hit the roads for 6 miles on Sunday. And I WON’T eat. ALL. the. FOOD. afterwards, LOL!!
I still get choked up, every single day thinking about the next year. I am often brought to tears immediately when I see a commercial, or hear a song when it talks of our countries soldiers.
Pic cred from the Vampire Diaries
But that doesn’t mean I not still getting stronger. And I will continue this physical AND mental journey, one step at a time and I PRAY, I come out on top.
A lot of people have asked me how things are going in regards to my husband’s upcoming deployment. At work, I keep on my game face most days, and I have really learned to hold it together for the most part. At home, I can’t always say the same.
The truth is, the pre-deployment phase is almost worse than the deployment itself. A million thoughts go through my head as I watch my husband mentally exit more and more every day. I see the worried look on his face as he stares off in to space, and I see the tiredness compounding in his furrowed brow and blood shot eyes. We’ve got just shy of 6 weeks to go, and just yesterday it seemed like I was saying he was leaving in 4 months. Will the time go by just as quickly when he’s gone? Probably not, but I sure can hope.
I question whether or not my teenage daughter and I will get through this year, to be honest. For the last few weeks, things have actually been pretty great…and in honor of her privacy, I’ll just say last night we had one of our infamous blowouts. You know, the kind that leave you feeling like you’ve been punched in the throat? Yup…one of those. But my husband was there, as always, to mediate. He’s always been so great at being our middle man, our “let’s hash this SH&%!” guy…what will we do when he’s not here, and hormones are flying? Lord help us, truly.
Despite the fact that I know I am strong, and I know I will get through this, I honestly don’t want to hear that sentence from ONE MORE person. I really don’t. I’m sorry if that sounds mean and I appreciate the fact people think I am strong, but instead let’s sit down and talk about how bad this freaking sucks, or as my husband admits, “I’m sorry for the hell I’m putting you through.” Let’s share a glass of wine, and talk about how we’ve got each other’s backs as friends/family and a reminder of “I’m here for you” would be wonderful. Because isn’t that what friends and family are for? To get through the hard SH&%# together? I sure think so…
What am I going to do about the fact that this truly sucks? I’m going to take care of ME, so I can better take care of my kids. I’ve started taking more time on my physical appearance, actually taking time on my make up in the morning, picking out nice outfits to wear for work, etc. I started doing this a few weeks ago, and it’s amazing how much of a difference it makes I’ve found. Even my coworkers noticed, asking me why I am dressing up more…I smiled and said, “If I look pretty on the outside, maybe it’ll cheer me up on the inside,” and I think it’s working, a little…
So this weekend I will (I hope) get out on the roads/trails and get my first official long run in of 6 miles. To keep mentally sane through all of this, I’ve been working out a lot at home (Tracy Anderson Transformation videos) , planking, and treadmilling when needed. I can happily report that between stress-haha, a healthy diet, and consistent working out, I have lost nearly all of my marathon weight from last year. My goal this year is to NOT gain weight during training, if I do decide to stick with the full.
Third work out this week!!!
Thank you all for your kind thoughts and words during this difficult time. I am so glad I decided to keep the blog going while my hubby is gone, and appreciate the support and prayers. And guess what? My teen just came up to me and gave me a hug, saying she was sorry for yesterday. I hugged her tight, and told her I was sorry too…#allthefeels
So today I did it…I bit the bullet and printed out my faithful Hal Higdon full marathon training plan. I am still on the fence about running a full with my husband deploying, but after night’s like tonight with my teen, I think I may have some mama drama that will need to be left on the trails this next year. I asked my husband if he could pack up one of us to deploy with him, but that doesn’t seem to be an option. Lord help us this next year, LOL…
I already have a good base with 6-7 miles done easy, so I have some time to decide. We shall see…
Tomorrow we are having a “healthy food” potluck at work, so I decided to make my roasted broccoli and quinoa salad. This salad is SO easy that I made it WHILE cooking dinner tonight.
Ingredients:
2 bags of your favorite quinoa, I use a brown rice/quinoa mix-cook according to package directions
2 cups of roasted broccoli-season with olive oil, salt, pepper, garlic powder and roast at 375 degrees for about 30 minutes or until the edges are nice and golden brown
2-3 green onions chopped at a diagonal
The zest of one lemon
1/4 cup of gruyere cheese (I prefer mild), cut in small cubes
1 teaspoon of organic apple cider vinegar
1 cup of toasted pecans
Mix all ingredients well, and finish with a drizzle of extra virgin olive oil and a pinch of salt.
My healthy dish is ready!
What’s your favorite healthy dish to pass for potlucks at work or with family? What’s your best release for teenage girl drama?
Since this wrap up is focused on my birthday weekend, I wanted to start this post out in the most positive of lights. I took Friday off from work, because, well, I needed a day off to rest and regroup. I don’t take enough time off, and soon I will be on full time work AND single Mom duty. These jobs aren’t for the faint of heart, so I am doing what I can to take care of ME before I run out of gas.
We started the weekend out by going out for lunch to one of our favorite casual places, California Pizza Kitchen. We followed that up with errands to Costco, getting my Jeep’s oil change and the tires rotated, and picking up dog food for Sammy. Yup, I lifted that. LOL!
Aren’t they pretty?Costco Churros, rock!hehe, feelin’ strong!
Friday afternoon, I downloaded the Tracy Anderson workout series on our XBOX and it totally kicked our butts. I took the rest of the weekend off from working out, but look forward to continuing with the series.
Friday night was just spent cleaning, and putting together my youngest daughter’s American Girl doll high chair that I got her for Christmas, but forgot I got for her, so it ended up being a late present, LOL! My brain is obviously in a million places.
We got this!There is always time to be silly!
Saturday was more cleaning, and more errands and even better, a GREAT surprise from my tribe! They showed up at my door, 5 of my amazing friends AND my sister with flowers, food, wine AND cake. I was beaming with happiness. My husband even arrived home at around 7:30 to help celebrate despite being exhausted. It felt so wonderful to be remembered. I love my tribe.
We love being silly!Several members of my tribe!! ❤
My birthday was a quiet day starting out with breakfast in bed made by my daughters, and I almost canceled my massage appointment with temps below 0 degrees, and a windchill in the minus teens.
Breakfast is always best when cooked by your daughters!
I am so glad I decided to go, because my back that is full of more knots than my youngest daughter’s hair, was so relaxed afterwards. I spent the rest of the day with my daughters, relaxing in our jammies on the couch. The only thing missing was my hubby. Here goes the not so positive part of this post… He got home from training really late, and all he could do was hug me tight, apologizing for missing the majority of my birthday. I responded by burying myself in to his chest, and quietly sobbed trying to hold myself together. This was one of those moments where I question myself, and my ability to do all the hard things. Because at that very moment all I wanted to do was curl up in to a little ball and cry for hours.
So happy my hubby made it to the party!
But then I am reminded, by my parents, sister, and friends that they are here for me always. They SHOW me they are here for me, and I just can’t even describe how blessed that makes me feel.
My husband deploying (for the second time) is going to be the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and trust me, I’ve been through a lot of hard things. In 6 weeks I’ll have to say my goodbyes to the man I call my very best friend. The one I laugh with, cry with, act goofy with, and spend my life with, and for a year I will be without all of those things I love most about him.
But I’ve got my tribe. More so, they’ve got me/my back. And I need to remember that fact, always.
So here’s to the age of 43, and 2016. May this year go by smoothly, and quickly. ❤ I apologize for my lack of posting, but I am really trying to step back this year and focus on my family. For they are what matters most. I hope to continue to post at least weekly, but time will tell. Thanks to all of those who’ve joined me on my #keepmovinforward journey.
I’m linking up with Holly and Tricia again, for the Weekly wrap up!
How do you celebrate your birthday? Do you prefer quiet parties at home, or would you rather go out?
Third work out this week!!!
Movin' it with Michelle 