After having spent last weekend with my husband celebrating our ten year anniversary, I found myself quickly slapped in the face with the reality of work, life, etc. I don’t hide the fact that my job is just a job, and not a passion. I don’t hide things very well. And it all hit me like a ton of bricks this past week.
I didn’t want to run. Wait…I don’t want to run. Major issue. But I have literally NO motivation or desire. Dropping temps with snow and ice have left my heart…well…cold. My running shoes have sat dormant minus a couple dreadmill runs that were honestly terrible.
Last weekend I spent the weekend with my husband, cooking, drinking wine, and enjoying good food. And I felt the pull…I want to be a Chef. I love to create food. It’s my one GO TO place no matter the weather, time constraints, or stress. I love…to cook. I may not be a Chef…but I have that desire.
So here’s a few pics of last week since I’ve been absent.
our first cooking class!bacon wrapped datesstuffed pork chops, YUMhomemade meatballs with spaghettiMy happy place
So with my November goals falling short, I will push forward with writing, cooking, and working out as often as possible. Thank you all for your unending support. May this winter funk end, soon!
I met a man on August 26th, 2003. Upon seeing him from across the room my breath was taken away. I whispered to my friend Kara, “I am going to marry that man.” But deep down I knew coming off a terrible divorce just 3 years prior that I had no intentions of marrying again…ever.
We talked that night, inside a smoky bar in Alaska. We danced. And we laughed…over and over. We were both stationed in Anchorage Alaska, he serving as a Paratrooper in the Army, me as a pathology technician in the Air Force. I’ll never forget that night…
After several drinks, laughter, smiles, and we shared an eye contact that couldn’t be broken. He gave me his number as the night came to a close, and I in turn gave him mine…”I don’t date though, I’m sorry…,” I proclaimed. I let him know that I was a single Mom, and my loyalty was in raising my daughter on my own. He smiled, and said he’d call me the next day.
And he called, the very next day. And every day there after…We talked for hours, yet it seemed not a minute passed by…we emailed short, sweet emails back and forth. Several days later he came over to my house, and I can honestly say it was love at first sight, all over again.
I tried to hide my emotion. I tried to tell him I couldn’t love him, or commit to him in a relationship. But just weeks later I found myself tethered to this man whom I loved and adored. He welcomed my daughter into his life, and he loved me with more passion than I can even describe. He. Loved. Me.
But I don’t date…
Six weeks into our relationship we received the news that he was due to deploy. In October. I didn’t have to wait…Please, it’s ok…he’d say repeatedly. But I knew. I KNEW. This was the man I was meant to be with for the rest of my life.
And so, on a cold and dreary morning in early October I waved farewell to the man of my dreams as he boarded a plane for Afghanistan. He didn’t think I would wait for him…Little did he know…
Because I don’t date…
But waited I did. I endured more sleepless nights than I care to admit. I lived for phone calls, emails, and watching the news for updates on his unit. His safety. We had many close calls. Many days when I cried more than I felt humanly possible. But I had my daughter to keep me strong. I did all I could to hide my sadness from her. And SHE. was my rock at the young age of four years old.
Because remember, I don’t date…I was married to my child in all honesty.
He returned home 11 months later, and on August 29th, 2004 this very same man proposed marriage to me. To which I accepted with tears in my eyes and happiness in my heart. He. Chose. Me. I was enough for this amazing man.
And now, as we are just a week before we will celebrate our 10 years of marriage, I find myself reflecting. Good times, bad times, hard ships, LIFE. But in the end, laughter and our unending love got us through it all…
Because I don’t date…
Instead, I married the man of my dreams, and I wouldn’t trade a second of our journey. We’ve been through so very much, lived in several different states, lost loved ones, broken careers, financial hardships, you name it…but at the end of the day, we have THIS. Thank you dear Brian, for always being my smile.
Nearly 42 years ago, I was born on January 17th with a weight of 2 lbs, 11 (?) ounces…My due date was in March some time (St. Patty’s day I believe?) but I decided to bless the world with my presence early. WAY early in that day and age and upon my arrival my parents told me I was said not I wouldn’t live. They baptized me in the hospital, as well as giving me my last rights. And then came the on going wait…
But after several weeks (it may have been months, the story sadly is not fresh in my memory) in the ICU, in an incubator, I was sent home. I fought hard to live…to breathe…to BE.
My earliest memory is of me at around age 3, but I am told as an infant my Mother dressed me in doll clothes because preemie outfits didn’t exist back then. My Father could place my head in his hand, and my toes wouldn’t reach the crock of his elbow. I was TINY.
Yet my fighter instinct set in, and I was ready for a life of fighting, struggling, and movin’ forward. Tell me I am not going to make it another day, and despite my initial want to throw in the towel I will fight back twice as hard as anyone else.
Looking back I remember so many times when I hit rock bottom (or so I thought) and I wanted to give up. I’ve learned though…there is no ROCK BOTTOM…it’s simply a stepping stone to move forward.
I never quit. And no matter the circumstance, I am constantly reminded by God up above that he gave me the blessing of life. He saved me, more times than I can count and now it is up to me to save myself from the day to day life battles I encounter. It’s up to me. And I’m not ready to quit…in life, in training, in regards to my family and friends, in my career. I won’t. Give. Up.
photo credit, World Prematurity Day on Facebook
With World Prematurity day honored today, I am reminded of the life I’ve been given…and I won’t waste another second of this precious gift. #keepmovinforward
Sometimes life gets in the way of our best intentions and this week that very thing happened in my household. Life stressors and crappy weather won over the goals I had set for myself.
Fitness wise, I managed several walks, and 2 strength training sessions, but a bruised toe nail kept me from running, and all I can do is chalk it up to a bad week. I’m human. As I watched everyone posting “snow runs” this week I had to slap the envy away…I hate the cold, snow and winter. I want to embrace it and the beauty of a fresh snowfall…but instead, I embraced an extra glass or two of wine, LOL.
Decluttering wise, I did manage to really clean my house well yesterday, as well as food shop for healthy eats…I cleaned out my fridge which is always a great feeling.
Tonight, I decided Sunday Supper would be a healthful, Spanish inspired meal filled with summer dishes of gazpacho and pan seared Ahi tuna. Winter denial at it’s best? You betcha…
I started the gazpacho at around noon today to allow it ample time to chill in the fridge.
And while cooking, I watched my kids enjoy the first snow fall of the year. I can’t express the happiness I get from watching them play…together.
I totally took this picture, from inside the warmth of my kitchen…does that make me a bad Mom? lol
Gazpacho:
1st part-
Place all of these ingredients in a large bowl:
6 vine ripe tomatoes, boiled for 1 minute and peeled/seeded, then chopped finely
1 large cucumber, diced
1 red pepper, diced
3 cloves of garlic, minced
2 green onions, just the white parts, diced
Salt, pepper, cumin, oregano, cayenne pepper to taste
This just screams summer, and I love it during these bitter cold days!
2nd part:
Get out your blender next:
Add in 2 cups of cherry tomatoes
Splash of Worcestershire sauce
Splash of balsamic vinegar
The juice and zest of half of a lime
Glug of extra virgin olive oil
Blend until liquefied
Strain
Strain well, getting rid of all the seeds
Add the mixture back into your blender, and add in the diced veggies, pulse a few times to your desired consistency
To make a yummy garnish, take cucumber rolls and let them sit in rice wine vinegar for about 30 minutes. Drain and rinse, and you’ve got a beautiful, elegant garnish for your gazpacho.
No, this isn’t a cocktail, LOL
Ahi tuna:
Next, while this was chilling in the fridge, I prepared the Ahi tuna. I made a simple marinade of lime juice, rice wine vinegar, Dijon mustard, garlic, saffron, salt, pepper, and cilantro. Whisk in some extra virgin olive oil, and pour over your tuna steaks. Marinate in the fridge for one hour, allowing yourself time to have the fish sit at room temperature for about 30 minutes. Pan sear for about 2 minutes in a screaming hot pan that has EVOO in it, and flip only once. Set aside to plate.
I made sautéed spinach and mushrooms for a side dish, along with roasted baby Yukon potatoes. It was a win all around, and healthy to boot.
Doesn’t get much better than this!
The key is to have the center still pink, as this cut of tuna is just divine. Cooking it well done would take away from the beauty of this fish.
Perfection on a plate, if I do say so myself.
So my goals this week, are to make more time for working out, and eating lower fat/higher protein meals.
What is on your agenda this week? Any tips on staying motivated in the winter months when it’s too cold to get outside for a run?
I have struggled a bit with Veteran’s Day these last 3 years…maybe because the emptiness I STILL feel after retiring is very raw…still. I miss being in the Air Force…every.single.day.
But I had a pretty great 20 years of service. It was the hardest, most rewarding thing I have every done, and my service will always be one of my proudest accomplishments. I didn’t fight in any wars, other than several of my own…but I supported so many that DID set boots on the ground.
Here’s a few pics…
Basic training…can you find me?I received Service member of the quarter in 1994. Great moment!My SNCO induction ceremony in 2008.These people…yup. They got me through so very tough times!And my final retirement photo
I’ll keep this one short and sweet, but leave you with this…remember always the battle that was fought for your freedom.
I went into this race with few expectations. I got lazy (too busy more so) with my training and just prayed I had enough left in the tank to get this race done, and done strong.
I woke up at 4 am, got ready and hit the road to Naperville to meet up with the gang. I texted Andrea, letting her know I pooped…LOL. On going joke…sorry haha!
I got to Naperville at 5:45 and waited in the warmth of my car for everyone to arrive. Everyone arrived safely at around 6:15, and we had plenty of time to get settled. I ate my cereal bar, chugged my 5 hr energy and we were off!
What a beautiful sunrise…and I am NOT a morning person!These amazing people…I can’t say enough about these girls.#solesistersThe starting line was lined with flags, and I was truly moved by the beauty of it all!
We lined up at the start, getting in to our respective corrals and bid each other high fives, hugs, and good luck. I turned and saw Claudia, a woman I met during the Fox Valley training runs I paced, so we agreed to start together. YAY! The national anthem was beautifully sung, (sang?) and the race kicked off…it only took about 10 minutes to cross the starting line. (They could’ve spaced this a little farther apart, as the course was slightly crowded the first few miles).
We stayed together the first couple miles, and she caught me at mile 9 walking-thankfully her motivation got me running up that terrible hill!
The first several miles felt great. I thought to myself, HEY…I can DO this…but my excitement got the best of me and I went out too fast. Rookie mistake. Beginning mile splits: 9:33, 9:03, 8:58, 8:58, 9:02, 8:51, 9:11, 9:53 (took a walk break to fuel during the 8th mile. I saw Karen at mile 8.5 and nearly sobbed! A friendly face, YAY! We hugged quickly and I kept moving.
And then came mile 9…the hill from hell where it felt we were out in the middle of no where. I walked briefly and then saw Claudia…I tried to stick with her, but it just wasn’t happening. But I kept her in my sights, along with her awesome hubby who was on his bike throughout several spots on the course. Seeing him helped me keep going…
I decided the sub 2 just wasn’t going to happen…I had a stitch in my side that refused to go away.
So I high fived all the kids. I thanked all the volunteers and spectators. I dug deep and searched for my smile. And I ate a piece of bacon from some amazing dude grilling at around mile 11…and I kept running as fast as I could.
Miles 10 and 11 were 9:51 (another walk/stretch break), 9:20 and my right ITB was SCREAMING at me, making my right knee, and foot feel like they were on fire. I was done. I lost sight of Claudia, and I sincerely just wanted to stop. But I saw her husband at mile 12 and he reminded me “You are doing this for fun,” to which I forced a smile and kept going.
And then…I saw THIS. (Thanks, Andrea for the picture).
No “Oh I wish I was running the full” feelings here. AT ALL.
The stitch in my side was almost unbearable…but as I hit mile 13 and barreled up the .1 hill to the finish line (having a hill at the finish is just MEAN), I was satisfied. Slight disappointment for yet another NOT sub 2 half briefly hit me, and the tears brimmed in my eyes. But I reminded myself I wasn’t properly trained, having only run ONE 9 miler since the Fox Valley half marathon in September. So instead I celebrated all of my awesome friends finish times, and PR’s. Final miles were 9:30, 9:13, 3:18 for the last .1. I was blessed to have received my medal from Bob Miller, marathon maniac, and after a hug and smiles, I felt better.
Oh…and all the massages….all the food…and all the beer.
Two Brothers pale ale? You betcha!AHHHHMAZING perk to this race. Stretching AND massage tents.I may have eaten two of these…don’t judge.
At the end of the day I did what I set out to do. Complete this race in under 2:10. And of course, spend time with some pretty cool people.
Yes…I had about 57 layers on and STILL was cold, while Andrea was in shorts, LOL
I also got to see Carolyn finish her race, PR, AND qualify for Half Fanatics! YAY!!!!
So proud of this girl!
Pros of the race:
Plenty of port a johns at the start.
Lots of aid stations.
The spectators were amazing
Stretching AND massage tents. SCORE!
The food/beer was warm/cold respectively
Having the gym open for the runners/spectators
Volunteers! I can’t say enough about these amazing people
Cons of the race:
Disorganized gear check causing lengthy waits after the race
Not enough signage telling discombobulated runners where to go after the race
Mean security cops/guards. Cut us some slack fellas…we just ran our butts off!
All in all I had a WONDERFUL time despite some self inflicted pain. I would definitely do this face again!
Also, I was successful in my November goals by 99% only having missed out on doing yoga. Score!
Did you race this weekend? What is your favorite perk of the after race events?
Today is a new day. My daughter, the tough little cookie she is, is doing fine…I think Mom took it harder than daughter when reality slapped us in the face.
But today, after not a lot of sleep, I rolled out of bed and hopped in the shower. It was time to pick up my race packet and hit the expo for a race I haven’t trained too terribly hard for, but that I know I can complete. My #doepicshit friend Andrea was working the expo until 1 o’clock, so I wanted to make sure I got to see her.
And see her I did! She graciously handed me my packet, and I shopped around while I waited for her to finish her volunteer shift.
Free chair massage? yespleaseandthankyou!
Meet Rico…my massage dude that was stuck in the 80’s sporting his spray tan and gold chains. But hey, he worked the knot in my back like a mad man. WIN.
Afterwards, we decided to grab a bite to eat to celebrate having some time together. Living an hour apart, and both working crazy hours we don’t get to see each nearly enough.
Blue moon beer counts as carb loading, yes?
After talking race strategy (run..walk…move…don’t die, and finish), we parted ways and I headed home to get my flat runner ready.
Flat runner ready!
Upon my arrival home, my hubby asked what our dinner plans were? What? I am running a half marathon tomorrow…I’m. not. cooking. LOL! So he prepared some yummy pasta for us…DELISH!
True carb loading, LOL
And now, with my gear set out, my Garmin and IPod charging, I am relaxing in an almost too quiet house. Wait…is that possible? LOL…
My plan for tomorrow is quite simple…take all the stressors I’ve been dealing with the last few weeks, and let that energy fuel me for 2+ hours. Leave the yuck on the road, and run with my heart. I nearly tried to wimp out and either 1. not run the race or 2. just finish it half assed…But my friends know me far too well, and I just don’t work that way.
So I’ll meet up with my amazing friends before the race…shiver, hug, and embrace all that is right in the world by surrounding myself with these people. Will the race lead to a PR? Doubtful…realistically I am just a little rusty from the last few weeks. But I’ll finish, and give it my all!
Thanks to you all, for your amazing support these last 2 days!
Having been in the military for 20 years, I have found myself with the stigmatism of being a hoarder. Be it clothes, receipts, paperwork, junk drawers, and old tee shirts that I just MIGHT need one day…I KEEP. ALL. THE. JUNK. I believe this also stems from having gone from living pay check to pay check to well, still living pay check to pay check at the age of nearly 42. What if I ‘need’ that such and such…what if I run out of ‘whatever’…I must. keep. it. ALL. I remember back in the day, taking toilet paper from the gym locker room home because I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to afford to buy more…Yes…I was that girl.
But in all honestly, despite bills and debt, I have enough. I can let ‘things’ go…finally.
But it’s hard…I am only human. That pair of earrings I wore in 2002 can be donated…really. That race shirt I earned at a local 5k that never really fit can be given to charity. That cute top I wore in 2006 when my husband commented how pretty I looked, yet it no longer fits can be set aside for my Goodwill donation…really.
BUT. I will keep the dress I wore, over 10 years ago to meet my husband’s plane when he returned from Afghanistan. Sorry hoard police…that one will stay hanging neatly in my closet, collecting well deserved dust. It’s not going anywhere. Some things, I just can’t let go…
I tackled my bedroom tonight. My closet and my dresser are my enemy when it comes to hoarding…am I the only one that couples clothes with memories? Ack, make it stop! After nearly 2 hours I had 1 bag of trash, 1 bag to sell at consignment, and 2 bags of clothes to donate. I felt accomplished. I tied the bags up neatly, and walked away. This is my preemptive strike to move forward in all aspects of my life.
I got my work out in as well, although short in length, I felt I got my ‘swole’ on, LOL
And now, after venting about my long day to my husband, I am listening to Josh Groban, “You raise me up” and am reminded to hold those close to me, who lift me up…Constantly, consistently…and always.
Sweet dreams, gang…
Questions…do you purge? Do you have a hard time letting things go?
I finished this hump day with a quick dready run. I didn’t want to run (bite my tongue, I know) but needed to keep moving…
During the work week meals are usually prepared within less than an hour. This shrimp dish, prepared with a marinara sauce bought from my favorite local Italian market to which I added – sautéed garlic, onions, carrots, mushrooms, and celery along with added oregano, parsley, basil and crushed red pepper flakes was a WIN. I served it over rice pasta, and it truly was a hit. I love how the simplest yet healthy meals can make my family happy. Who needs take out?
My daughter came to me last week in tears. Her BFF had an injury…”Mommy, can you fix him?” She asked with tears in her eyes. Sigh…I am not crafty AT ALL. But I went to Hobby Lobby on my day off and purchased stuffing and a sewing kit. “Yes, baby…Mommy can fix him.” Sigh…please, Lord. Let this work…
THIS face…
So after dinner, we got our instruments ready, and our “transplant material” aka stuffing, laid out. It was time for surgery.
The entry wound was located…and after finding an additional wound I knew we had to be careful…so every so slowly we stuffed, packed, and made sure each piece of stuffing we transplanting was in the correct place.
entry wound number one…let the transplants begin!
And after spending 15 minutes trying to thread the needle…we had great success. It was time to start closing the wound.
Don’t worry, no one was hurt!
After 30 minutes of preparation and dedication, Pink Bear was himself again. And my youngest daughter found her smile…
Mommy! He’s good as new!
I can now rightfully say my resume has broadened…adding in the fact that I am now a Mom, a wife, a friend, a photographer, a Chef, a housekeeper, a maid, a lab supervisor, a runner, a mover, a shaker, and yes…a surgeon. To stuffed animals only, LOL.
Today I left the stressors of life behind me…and I nurtured the needs of my kids. Today, my youngest needed me. And who doesn’t feel good being needed?
At the end of the day, I made time for me, my family, and with that my heart is full. My decluttering for the day included not feeding into negativity although it was tough…
What have you done lately to ‘step outside of your box?’ Do you believe in decluttering both mentally and physically?
Day 5 and I am still on track for my November goals. YAY! How are you doing?
Tonight’s dinner was a new recipe I came up with after several rough days at work. I wasn’t sure what I would make with the chicken thighs I pulled out of the freezer, but I knew it would comforting regardless. And what’s more comforting than a yummy soup to warm the soul after chilly temps and a few harsh days at work.
ONE:
Chicken and gnocchi soup
Who doesn’t love a good bowl of soup?
What you’ll need:
4 chicken thighs, cut into bite size pieces
4 cups of low sodium veggie stock
4 cups of water
1/4 cup heavy cream
2 teaspoons of Worcestershire sauce
2 tablespoons of butter
2-3 tablespoons of garbanzo/fava flour (can be found in the gluten free section of your local market)
1 red pepper, diced
1 red onion, diced
2 celery stocks, diced
4 cloves of garlic, minced
Cayenne pepper, taco seasoning, cilantro, oregano, basil, parsley, salt and pepper to taste
1/4 cup of grated parmesan to garnish
I used store bought gnocchi, but plan on learning to make this from scratch
In a large sauce pot, add your butter, and flour and cook through stirring with a whisk. Add in your veggie stock and water, stirring well. Bring the liquid to a rolling boil, and add your heavy cream. Season with salt, pepper, cayenne and Worcestershire sauce. Reduce the heat to a simmer while you prepare the ‘meat’ of the soup.
In a separate pan, add extra virgin olive oil (enough to coat the pan) and bring to a medium/high heat. Cook your chicken through, seasoning with salt, pepper, and taco seasoning. Once cooked, remove from pan and set aside.
Drain the grease from the pan, but don’t wipe any excess oil. Add a splash of oil, and add in all your veggies. Season with salt and pepper until cooked 3/4 of the way. You still want a slight crunch to your veggies.
Add your chicken to the large sauce pot with the stock as well as oregano, basil, cilantro and parsley and let simmer for 20 minutes. While this is simmering, cook the gnocchi according to the package directions. This takes about 7 minutes.
Next, add in your veggies, stir well, and prepare to plate. Just before serving, add your gnocchi to the soup, stir gently, and serve!
I garnished with parmesan cheese!
TWO:
As most of you know, my ultimate dream is to work in the food industry. Be it as a Chef, a writer, a critic, or restaurateur I know my place is in the food industry. As I was driving home from work today, I had my one on one time with God and asked for His ultimate guidance. I hate the feeling that although I have a good life, I long for so much more for my family. I chased that dream recently with my MasterChef audition, but sadly that journey was short lived despite months of preparation. So as my family hunkered down to watch the season premier MasterChef Junior I couldn’t help but to have to fight with that nagging tug at my heart.
photo credit, shinegroup.tv
That tug was quickly replaced with a renewed sense of pride in the children of today’s society. One young Chef presented raw chicken, and instead of competitive hatred, these kids rallied around this little Chef and I found tears pouring down my face. My youngest sat nestled in the crook of my arms, and she squeezed me a little tighter when she saw what the kids did to comfort the little Chef. So at the end of the day, I may not be a MasterChef…but I am teaching my kids a love for great food, compassion, and the importance of dreams. Despite an ache in my soul some days…I know ultimately my dreams are still very real. Don’t get me wrong. I am still choosing to be content with the gifts God has given to me. But I do refuse to settle. I’ll keep chasing those dreams…just watch me! 🙂
Movin' it with Michelle 