Normally I love Tuesdays…it’s one day closer to hump day but this week has been an inward battle. Between the weather, and knowing another week of training will be on the ‘mill, I had to dig deep.
I’ve learned a lot this winter in regards to relationships. It’s hard to hang close to people you don’t spend time with a lot. BUT, that doesn’t mean you care about them any less. At least in my book.
In all honestly I miss my running friends. They’ve all remained tough and have ran outside ALL winter long. I, well, have not. So it’s hard to relate as we are all over the place. My sleep has been less than stellar as it is most winters (and when my husband travels) so I have taken advantage of any extra sleep I can get, even if it means missing run club. Why? Am I not hard core enough? Am I not dedicated enough?
A lot probably would say such things about me, and my running/training this go-round has been less than hard core. And I understand…while my friends are in sub-zero temps running miles outside, I am indoors with a tank top and shorts running in the comfort of my own home with indoor facilities and all the entertainment I need….right?
Oh HECK NO…I would much rather be outside, but the thought of my hands/feet going so numb it actually hurts (Reynaud’s syndrome-self diagnosed as my Mom has it) to the point I can’t take it keeps me inside in temps below about 35 degrees. So sorry, but I just can’t be sorry. I am simply exhausted and doing the best I can on my own. I know…insert the #poorme reference here. Sorry…
But here’s a good image that describes how I feel running on the treadmill…
I can’t find my groove, I can’t have that feeling of bliss. Ack…I am saying I can’t.
But I’m running. I am working hard. And it’s the hardest mental test I’ve given myself in quite some time.
Running a marathon was almost easier than running 6 miles on the ‘mill last weekend. If I have to do 8 miles on the mill this coming weekend, I may need to be pre-medicated. Just saying.
With that, I bid you all goodnight. Another sleepless night has left me feeling less than stellar, and I am praying for some beauty sleep. Sometimes I just can’t turn the ‘ole noggin’ off.
I ask, how do you deal with winter training? What do you do when you try to engage in conversation but things are always one-sided? Any tips on a full nights sleep?
Sweet dreams, y’all!
I like to remain on the side of positivity and happiness. The last few years I’ve made that my mantra, my goal, and my daily prophecy so to speak.
But some days. Days like today when the temps are plummeting and the skies are bleak, I catch myself lying. I caveat this statement with the fact I haven’t slept more the 2 hours each night in the last several nights yet am a creature who requires 5-6 hours of sleep each night, so my judgment with what I share could possibly be swayed.
I hit a few bumps in the road of positivity today. I caught myself looking in the mirror investigating the 42 years of ‘stuff’ that was now imprinted on my face in the disguise of wrinkles, pores, and fine lines that are no longer regarded to as ‘fine.’ I listened to myself speaking to my children in a way I swore I never would, and suddenly I found myself feeling very old…and very sad.
Where did I go?
Have I been lying all along when I say I’ve embraced aging?
No…I am telling the truth.
But it isn’t without struggle to see my youth pass me by…to see the once lean and fit body start to deteriorate. The sagging skin, the droopy eyes, and the night sweats are truly for the birds. Yes, I am missing my early/mid 30’s terribly, I won’t lie….
I dug up pictures from 20 years ago tonight. Maybe in efforts to remind myself of the youthful and spunky spirit I once had…maybe more so to remind myself that I didn’t always look
and feel so tired or hide my bags behind my unwanted glasses. I am also listening to my favorite early 90’s music. Don’t judge.
But I’d be lying…if I said I didn’t miss that girl. Man, I had such fire back in the day. I was fun. Sure – I was troubled. BUT I lived on the edge…always. More digressing…sorry, y’all…
So here we go…
My fire is still there…refocused, rechanneled, and in need of a good recharge…
I will continue to run, and delve in to my gazillion other passions. But a part of me will always, miss, that girl.
But she’s still there. And I am reminded of that…daily. ❤
My advice. Be you. Be true. Always.
Ok, so I started last year at a pretty dark place, but managed to finish on a pretty high note with lofty yet achievable goals. Running, writing, and researching recipes are high on my list this year mixed in with some awesome photography…Right? Um…so yeah…about that…
Then, I cut my thumb on Christmas day, and my running, motivation, and goal making days halted all too quickly. BUT…thankfully only for just about a month. Whew…bullet dodged. I caveat this with saying I DID NOT/DO NOT want a repeat of last winter. Ever. Both the weather, and my mood were beyond frigid.
So here we go…
I started running again last week. My miles are minimal and my pace is slow as can be…but I’m MOVIN’…can I get a yahoo??? Today at work I had a leadership workshop of sorts to attend so my 8 hour day was squashed in to 4 hours of playing catch up. I was tired by the time the final ‘bell’ rang, so upon arriving to my daughter’s school I texted my Maria…”I’ll be on the dreadmill in 30 minutes in case you want to join me.” Of course she did, despite battling a migraine for 5 days, and her virtual hug and push helped get my on the mill. 2.6 miles, complete.
I hit the restart button after the holidays to try and lose my 5-7 lbs of marathon training/winter weight/I’m lazy and just ate all the food weight…so I’m back on MyFitnessPal for anyone else who uses this app, tracking my food and fitness and REALLY trying to stop eating all. the. chips. I have to giggle when it says I should weigh a certain weight if I continue to eat the way I am because yeah-pre-menopause obviously isn’t calculated in to the equation, and well yeah…I don’t see that number on the scale. BUT…I’ve just restarted in the last week or so, so baby steps, right? With that I have been eating high protein/veggie/fruit type of diet, so here is tonight’s easy peasy dinner recipe!
Baked Pork chop with white wine, onion and caper sauce over baby spinach salad
What you’ll need (pork chops):
4 thick cut boneless pork chops, seasoned with kosher salt, pepper, and a dash of lemon pepper seasoning on all sides-apply liberally and set aside for about 5 minutes while you get everything preheated.
Pre-heat oven to 375 degrees.
Pre-heat a non stick pan and add extra virgin olive oil and 1 pat of unsalted butter. Heat to high heat, and pan sear chops on both sides (5-7 minutes each side-don’t over crowd your pan!) until golden brown and transfer to a baking sheet. *Tip-line your pan with aluminum foil for easy clean up! Place in your pre-heated oven and cook for about 10 minutes or until your chops have reached 155 degrees-let rest for 10 minutes minimum-chops will reach required temp of 160 degrees by this time. *Tip-cover with foil while resting your meat. It helps hold the temperature.
While your chops are baking, make your “sauce.”
1 white onion, chopped
2 cloves of garlic, minced
1 tablespoon capers, rinsed
2 tablespoons of Kalamata olives, chopped
Zest of a lemon
1 cup of white wine
1/4 of cold water mixed with cornstarch to thicken
Kosher salt, pepper, and oregano to taste.
In the same pan you seared your chops, deglaze with the white wine (make sure it’s wine you’d drink!)
Add your onions, garlic, capers, and olives. Reduce down the liquid by half, and add your seasonings and cornstarch water to thicken. Add zest just before serving. I served the spinach and pork with the sauce, who needs dressing/gravy? Not this girl!
So in order to stay on track with food, fitness, and life in general my TRUE goal this year is to BE CONTENT. I have said it before, but I’ll say it again. I am, and I have, ENOUGH.
Who’s with me? How are your eats and exercise lately? How do you battle off season eating/motivation?
First off, I am so very pleased to have been asked by Christina @crazymamarunner to tell my story about why I chose to run a marathon. I was highlighted on her blog this week, and you can read the story HERE . I found my eyes welling with tears as I read what she wrote, and re-read what I submitted to her. Please take a moment to check it out!!
Secondly, as most of you know I have struggled with my running this
and last winter. Initially due to the artic blast we received far too early this winter, and ultimately ending with a nasty cut on my thumb Christmas day…in case you missed it, the story is HERE . For the first couple weeks my thumb throbbed so terribly I could barely sleep, and hardly fathom running. Along with this lack of motivation came laziness and poor eating. Woops. I fell in to that trap. Darn it all to H E double hockey sticks. Yeah…I went there. LOL
But this weekend despite crazy work hours and schedule I decided since my hubby was leaving at O dark 30 to travel this morning, I would run on the dreadmill tonight after work. I told my family, and posted on my FB fan page to hold myself accountable. I NEEDED to run at least 2 miles.
In stepped my friend Maria from @Runningflaps FB fan page. We made a virtual date, and I was so giddy to have ‘someone’ to run with even if it was virtually. I picked up my youngest from after school care and headed home. And as I pulled on my shorts and tank that was just a bit too tight for my comfort I found myself cringing. I shook it off, and headed down stairs to the mill. I decided to take some of my followers advice and turned on Netflix, season one of Grey’s Anatomy. I started slow, and found myself wanting to give up. And this I received THIS text:
I made it two miles, and although they weren’t pretty miles, I didn’t give up. I feel like I am starting from square one, but I am at least starting. It’s truly amazing what a month+ can do for your endurance…or should I say how it KILLS your endurance.
So I ran 2 miles, and although it was tough I finished.
Day 13 of the AB challenge is done, and I am realizing quick I need to get myself in to gear for next month when my “real” training starts. Darn my passion and love for food at times like these. Give me ALL. The. Veggies and someone take away my quinoa chips…PLZ. #alwayshungry
So tonight’s Truth is this:
Don’t give up, no matter the obstacles, what the scale says, or how your clothes fit. Keep movin’ forward, and the pieces will fall in to place!