30 weeks

209 days ago my husband left for his deployment. 209. That’s a long. Freaking. Time.

We’ve had a lot of heart ache. A lot of growth. A lot of struggle. Many steps forward lead to even more steps taken backward.  But always deciding to move forward regardless. 

But every day we started anew. Sometimes with hard feelings from the argument the night before. Sometimes with such a heavy sadness that the physical ache in my chest started to concern me. But almost always we started with a hug, a kind word or just the presence of each other as we started our day. Together. Me and my girls.

My girls are my tribe. I see that so very clearly now. Looking back on wasted energy and jealousy of those who had these amazing groups of friends and social life makes me a little sad. Why would I not just look right in front of me?  Despite all of our conflict these girls are my constant. My reason for being at least for now. They won’t always need me but they do now. And I’m thankful for that. Because together we keep moving forward.  

30 weeks. Broken toilets, house repairs, teenage drama, work stress, heart breaks, missed holidays and birthdays, missed life events and everything that could go wrong that went wrong. And we’re still movin’ my friends. 

Take that deployment curse. 

And yes. I fixed my power washer all by myself and washed the deck and windows tonight to celebrate. 

Because I can do hard things. Even when I think I can’t. 



45 Comments on “30 weeks

  1. Your story of deployment and being a mom and sometimes dad in a pinch have been touching and a little inspirational. So many spouses have gone through this across the world and its a great story to see how they deal with it. Thanks for following me and your interest in the lives of others.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Great job in fixing the power washer, every time I do something like that I find it empowering! God bless you and your family.


  3. Like you, I didn’t have a large support group or a group of other women whose husbands were deployed as well. It was just me and my three boys. They were my rock, they kept me busy and helped the days, weeks and months pass. (364 days to be exact) It is so very difficult but you’re right in that you come out of it a stronger person.
    What a beautiful post and tribute to your daughters! One day they will truly appreciate this difficult time with you. Blessings to you
    and your family!


    • Thanks, Chaitali!!! I am really trying to be more handy, so I was excited I could actually go to the hardware store, ask for assistance and find the right piece to fix the power washer!


  4. Wow! You really are amazing and your girls are lovely — inside & out, I think.

    You don’t need a huge social circle, but I do hope you have people you can call on — and don’t be afraid to do so! I know that feeling of feeling so alone sometimes when your partner is gone. 😦


    • Thanks, Judy…I do have a couple very close friends but sometimes I just get nervous about reaching out or asking for help. I suppose due to some of my past experience I often shy away from actually asking for help, which can be silly I know. But I’ve found by letting it out, even if just on my blog, I feel better. πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Go you with that power washer! I’m so mechanically helpless – stuff like that would get me stressed for sure. Thank you to your husband and your family for your service to the country!!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. See?? Just like I said. Wonder Woman.

    I know to you it must seem like an eternity (and the remaining 22 likely seem that way too), but I can’t believe it’s already 30 weeks!! You got this!!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. It must be incredible to look back on all the time that has passed, and to know that it’s behind you. My brother has 15 weeks left, and it’s definitely dragging on lol. But you’re surrounded by an incredible community of people who really do push each other to keep growing and becoming stronger. That’s what we’re here for!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Hi Michelle, I’m so glad you came over to Life on the Bike, so I could follow you back here. As a proud Navy Daughter (Yes, a “brat”), I am very familiar, and loved, the incredible subculture of growing up military.
    My mom managed to raise 3 daughters while my father was at sea for months at a time. Let me just tell you that while she managed all those tasks and chores that the parent left at home has to deal with, she made life so “normal” for us that other than missing Daddy, we had a great life.
    You are doing the same for your tribe. Good for you!

    Liked by 1 person

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