209 days ago my husband left for his deployment. 209. That’s a long. Freaking. Time.
We’ve had a lot of heart ache. A lot of growth. A lot of struggle. Many steps forward lead to even more steps taken backward. But always deciding to move forward regardless.
But every day we started anew. Sometimes with hard feelings from the argument the night before. Sometimes with such a heavy sadness that the physical ache in my chest started to concern me. But almost always we started with a hug, a kind word or just the presence of each other as we started our day. Together. Me and my girls.
My girls are my tribe. I see that so very clearly now. Looking back on wasted energy and jealousy of those who had these amazing groups of friends and social life makes me a little sad. Why would I not just look right in front of me? Despite all of our conflict these girls are my constant. My reason for being at least for now. They won’t always need me but they do now. And I’m thankful for that. Because together we keep moving forward.
30 weeks. Broken toilets, house repairs, teenage drama, work stress, heart breaks, missed holidays and birthdays, missed life events and everything that could go wrong that went wrong. And we’re still movin’ my friends.
Take that deployment curse.
And yes. I fixed my power washer all by myself and washed the deck and windows tonight to celebrate.
Because I can do hard things. Even when I think I can’t.