Deployment thoughts

Tuesday truths

I haven’t worked out very much in the last few weeks since getting the news of my husband’s deployment.  (FYI-I’ll be discussing a lot about what I am going through with my husband getting deployed – to include the next few months of preparation and the year long deployment. Please bear with me as this is a much needed outlet.)  Between lack of sunlight and lack of physical/mental strength I’ve just sort of been going through the motions of work, and home life.  I’ve managed a couple runs each week, and planking 4-5 times each week, but that’s about it.

I do however, cry. Kind of a lot. I sure try not to do it in front of my husband or kids, but sometimes I just can’t seem to wrap my brain around another year of worry for my husband’s safety.  This man is the rock I lean on, for everything.  And maybe I didn’t realize it truly until receiving this news, but it’s become very apparent that I need him as much as I want him in my life, and that maybe I am not as strong as I thought.  And with tomorrow being Veteran’s day and all the shows and commercials on T.V. I’ve found that lately it’s just all a bit too much.  So then I cry some more…Gah.  Stick a fork in me already! :/

I’m going to attempt to run on the treadmill this week and my friend Teri invited me to run with her this weekend.  I really need to let myself have ‘my things’ too, because in the last few weeks of doing everything for everyone else but me have left me very…tired.

Today my sister reminded me that it’s ok to feel this way, but to not waste the next few months I DO have with him being sad.  I suppose it’s just hard because even though he’s still “here” he really isn’t because he’s knees deep in preparation for the deployment, working longer days than I can even fathom. He truly is my hero.

This afternoon my husband texted me thanking me for all of the love and support and that he understood how hard this was on me.  And sometimes just hearing that helps lighten the load, even if just a little.

I truly appreciate everyone’s amazing support through all of this craziness.  It really has helped knowing I am not going to do this alone!!!!

Michelle

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34 thoughts on “Tuesday truths

  1. Awww…Michelle!!! Big BIG hugs to you!!! ❤️
    Be gentle on yourself 💖 You are going through so much right now, & will continue to be. Wow.

  2. As hard as it is to talk about it, I think it probably does help. We are here for you as you go through this. I think sometimes as strong women it gets to be a little too much to handle. Tears are good, so let them flow when you need to. Love you bunches Michelle.

  3. Aw. Hang in there, lady! I know it’s not easy to put the “messy” feelings out there, but I appreciate that you keep it real.

    Emotions are a normal part of being a human. Trying to suppress them or ignore them only makes them worse. Do what you gotta do. And keep writing about it if you want – putting it into words ALWAYS helps me!

  4. You sister is right! It OK to feel whatever you feel. But, I do think it’s important you make time for “me things”. That will help you get through the sadness and the tough times. Even if you don’t feel like it, make yourself run a little or do any other activity you enjoy. Thinking about you!

  5. Hugs. It is difficult but you need to remember to take care of yourself or you won’t be any good for anyone else. Saying a prayer for you and your family and that you can find peace in this difficult time.

  6. A friend of mine posted this quote today and it really struck a chord with me: “You cannot pour from an empty cup. Take care of yourself first.” Remember that in order to be strong and capable for your family, you have to feel healthy and sane. Do what you need to do to be your best self, so you can give that gift to your family.

  7. I think it is so good to make sure you have some “you” time during this tough time. It will help clear your mind and give you that time you need to be upset and deal with your emotions, so that when you are with your family and your husband you can be present and clear to enjoy every minute. Hugs to you!!! xoxoxox

  8. Can’t wait until this weekend! I hear you on the commercials and Veterans day. So proud to know you, thank you for your service and hang in there. We will run those tears to the ground!

  9. I agree with your sister Michelle – don’t be sad while your husband is still with you guys – you’ll have plenty of time to cry when he’s over there protecting us – show him your big beautiful smile! (Well, you can cry in the closet if you want…just make sure he’s not home!) XOXOX – Linda~

  10. Not to be mean, Michelle, but it makes me sad that not long ago you gave up a wonderful military opportunity because your husband and children needed you, but now your husband is doing the same thing. I guess I was raised on the notion of equality among spouses, but perhaps this is not realistic among military families. I don’t know enough to make that judgment.

  11. Totally get it. As your friend said, make sure you make the best of the next few month, try to push it to the back of your mind and focus on the present and not what’s going to happen in a few months. Easier said than done, I know. Xoxo

  12. Hi Michelle, I read your post and I can’t imagine how hard this must be for you. What came to mind when I was reading it. It is so important to take care of yourself. My son Thomas who is now 26 spent the first 13 months of his life in the hospital in Philadelphia.2 hours from my house. I would drive back and forth each day . I had a 6 year old at home that needed me too. Almost every morning, I would get up a go for a run and then head to the hospital. It kept me sane! For what it is worth.
    All the best. Merry Christmas!

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