Category: Uncategorized

I found my night blessed with a conversation from someone who knows me better than almost anyone.  I was feeling low, old, and just plain ugly.  Is this normal?  Yeah…although I know my inner beauty outweighs my outer shell often times I wonder where the time went.
I admittedly will apologize in advance for this pity party post.  But I am feeling it, so I will share. 

I remember back to days where my best friend and I would walk into the VFW and be the life of the party.  Spice Girls would immediately start playing on the turn table and we would smile and laugh, and dance.  We had the energy of 16 year old girls, and loved life and all the troubles that accompanied our journey. 

Fast forward nearly 20 years, and the friendship is still as strong as steel.  Yet we two, share the sadness of growing older and missing our youngers days and energy.  WHERE has time gone?  Our conversations still hold wonderful meaning, yet are filled with talk of kids, husbands, and time spent maintaining our households while trying to keep US the women we once were.  We are no longer 20-30, now nearing 40 and our hearts break in unison. 

Yet we run, we work out, and we strive the be the best parents and wives possible while holding on to the wonderful friendship we were blessed with almost 20 years ago.  We share journeys of hardship, depression, and pushing forward.  Only a phone call away and time, is lost.  We can recall memories, laugh, and cry sharing moments only we can share. 

My two Air Force sisters, pictured above, are my heart and soul. 

I run for them, for me, and for my future. 

My work out tonight sucked…but my night ended beautifully with a conversation and recalling memories. 

May we all, be this blessed. 

Thanks…to those who know, love, and continue to support me. 

xoxoxo

I used to be one, who lived in the past, be it past mistakes or failures…I would hang on to those memories as if they were my life line  Yet I’ve realized as of late that I need to move forward, instead of hanging on to the past. 
Yet that doesn’t help my aging face, thinning hair, or withering body from wondering where, WHERE did the time go?  My husband fell in love with a beautiful, vibrant, blonde woman…she stood confidently in a bar, smiling coyly at him, and captured his heart instantly.  This woman had flowing, long blonde hair, and had a spirit that mirrored her physical characteristics.  She was at the pinnacle of a successful Air Force career, having just been promoted to TSgt, (E-6), and her confidence lit up even the darkest of rooms.  Yet now here I am, with the aging process in full force, and I can’t help but to wonder what happened to that ‘girl’ that won my husband’s heart.  I still have the drive, the passion, and sadly even the past scars that have made me who I am.  But I look at the picture below, and miss the outward beauty that I once had. 
Yes, I know beauty comes from within…but I never used to hate looking in the mirror.  Yet now, I avoid it at all costs. 
But instead of wallowing while my husband is gone for the next four months, I will work my tail off being a better Mom, career woman, and althete.  And in between I will squeeze in all the little things I love. 
I may not be who I was once on the outside.  But my soul, passion, and self worth continue to grow. 
Last week I completed 28 miles of BLISS.  17 miles of running, and 11 miles of biking.  All while finishing my Graduate degree and being a single Mom. 
I can’t turn back time…I can’t erase the wrinkles and scars…but I CAN keep moving forward.  Trying to find my beauty and confidence again, one step at a time. 

me ten years ago

me, today…

Love and blessings to all…

I spent this past  weekend with my Dad coming for a visit.  He knows I’ve been alone with the kids, so the adult conversation was welcomed greatly.  Although I don’t get the “breaks” from my kids that would be nice from time to time as a temporary single Mom, sometimes just having someone to TALK to about things other than make-up, boys, and playing dress up, is welcomed. 

My kids on the other hand were a bit cranky, but Grandpa and I wouldn’t have any of it.  We had fun running around, and going to a wood carving show in St. Charles today where my Dad’s latest piece was being auctioned off for silent auction and proceeds given to Hines VA Medical Center and the wounded warriors. 

Of course, I was the first to bid, and hope no one outbid me!!!  My Dad is sooooo talented.  We found a good wood burning set for me, and a beginners book to study from as I haven’t done wood burning since my junior high school days!  I am pretty stoked. 

After the show we headed to Mel’s diner and chowed down on some awesome breakfast nummies.  Yeah, I over indulged, and have been on a pretty well balanced diet. WOOPS!

I wasn’t going to run today…well I planned on it yesterday but my massage therapist did a number on me…so after Grandpa left, I rested for a couple hours and picked my tired lazy butt off the couch and headed to the gym. 

And I ran…I ran my heart out after having taken a few years off from this passion for work, school, kids, and home life.  And although I had tweaks here and there, it felt GREAT.  I remember back when training for my first 1/2 that I would hit my happy zone around 4 miles…and I hit it today.  Music blaring in my ears, peaceful thoughts in my head, and NO pain.  I hit 5.02 miles, and decided not to do TOO much…so I walked a few more minutes to cool down after recording my time, and realized…WOOO HOOO…I did it.  My longest distance so far since ’07. 
I came home, and soaked in a Lavendar epson salt bath…
and haven’t felt better in ages. 

Hope everyone had a great run/walk/or relaxing Sunday.

Bring on Monday!!!!

~Chelle

“Don’t follow the path of others, or aspire for dreams that are not your own.  Carve your own path, run your own race, and dream as if there is no tomorrow.”  (~me)

I started my day with a 2 hour therapuetic massage by my wonderful therapist.  With IT band issues, hammys screaming, and my knee just not where it should be, she concentrated the first hour on my hurting legs-more so the right one.  It seems my left leg has gone unscathed, thankfully, but whatever I am going through has caused my right leg to be entirely too much of an issue.  She worked my IT band until I ended up with bruises down my leg, but well worth the deep tissue massage.  i felt like a new woman afterwards.  I will continue to get this work done every three weeks, hoping it provides relief.

My Dad drove down from Wisconsin, and we had a great afternoon of running around, and ended up at Red Robin where I got my lettuce wrapped burger, LOL…

The night was ended by making yummy root beer floats.  The adult kind, with vanilla vodka, root beer, and a touch of french vanilla creamer. YUM…Yes, I’ve had one too many and am happy to say it was worth hours of conversation with the man I hold the highest regard upon…
He told me I should compile my poems and writings from Open Salon and write a book.  I beamed…so blessed that my Father appreciates my writing this much.  For isn’t that every child’s dream?  To make their parents proud?  He kept asking to read another post, and I giddily provided more for him to read…:-)
For years I felt I didn’t do many things right, or well…hell, I was a screw up as a kid…yet I’ve come so far, and learned from my mistakes. 

I’ll never be perfect…and am happy for that.  Because with perfection comes stagnation.  I am constantly moving forward, and love life to the fullest. 

May you all have a blessed weekend, and may I hydrate enough to get my 5 miles in tomorrow, bruised feet and all!

~Chelle

I’ve been going through the motions lately of the common, self doubt, worry, and wondering honestly CAN I DO THIS???  With an aching right hip, knee, and IT band I had to wonder…
But then I realized, or am hoping that these aches and pains only come when I AM NOT RUNNING. 
I am my own worst critic, yet I have to remember the day in 2007 when I had a fire lit under my ass behind…
I was sitting outside while living in San Antonio Texas with my friend April (pictured in my cover photo running with me), and we decided we would run the San Antonio 1/2 marathon.  Mind you, this was just after my eldest daughters birthday on the 22nd of September, and the race was mid-November.  Could I really train for a 1/2 marathon, with a 1 year old and 8 year old, all the while working full time as an active duty Air Force Airman?  Oh yeah, and I was in my bachelors program at the time, going to school full time in the evenings online. 
Hell yeah I could do it…
And so I started to run, daily…the first day not even making it a mile until I had to stop and walk for a minute, but by the end of my training I completed my last 10 mile run, and finished my race in 2:14. 

People say they are too busy to accomplish their goals…but I’ve learned all too well that life is too darn short.  If you want something, GO FOR IT.  And with the utmost support of my husband and kids, I ran, and ran hard for 7 weeks training my ass butt off.  And I finished, because I set my mind and heart to accomplish this goal. 

Lately, I have questioned can I actually train for a full marathon with my full schedule?  Bah…the picture above says it all…

So tonight amidst the blistering cold and flurries blowing in the air I did my daily commute home-1 hr each way, and changed clothes to go to the gym.  My youngest loves going with me, so that helps in the routine.  The “dreadmill” was calling my name today…
I set my Iphone on shuffle, and walked enough to warm up…And then I ran….
Mile one, setting in the pace, breathing, and working out the tweaks that always ensue the first mile or so…
Mile two…”MAN I FEEL GOOD…”
Mile three…starting to feel it, but still feeling good…I keep a towel over the screen to keep me from knowing exactly where I am at…I peaked…3.48 miles…Oh SHIT man!  I got this!  4 miles my first run of the week!!! 
Made it to 4.1 miles, with a smile on my face and sweat on my brow. 

Yeah…I got this…one step at a time.  That ‘Mill and me are becoming friends, as much as I loath running inside.  Spring is hopefully right around the corner, with warmer weather and longer days. 

❤

Chelle

1.   My first week without my Husband sadly has been normal.  Quiet.  We’ve gone through the motions as we always do when he has been called to duty.  I continue to work, study, take care of the house and kids…

2.  My home is oddly quiet once the kids are in bed…

3.  I’ve realized through pure diagnosis who supports me….

4.  I have only ran (this IS a running blog right?) twice this week.  The wind, cold, and snow has caused my joints to ache more than I’d like to admit.  But I worked my tail off tonight.  Cleaning, core work, studying, and even was welcomed with a lovely phone call. 

Yet the loneliness envelopes me as if I am shoved in the corner of a cave I cannot break free from.  I hear the winds blowing; nature finding it’s force pushing forward.  Yet my “push” has been lost upon a mop I sweep side to side. 

And so I gaze outside, upon the massive snowflakes falling graciously yet strongly upon my yard…

Then I see…I lone cardinal sitting in my hedge…and I smile. 

His color vibrant, amidst the stark white color that brushes over the canvas of my once green yard.

His feather billowing in the wind, wishing he could fly yet finding solace amidst the stark branches. 

His strength gives me peace.  His perch shows strength.  Proud.  With purpose.

His bright colors show he is unique, strong, and passionate.  Hmm..

I got this, right?

Gosh, I hope so…this goal is so close, yet so far away…yet I feel it. 

I have been a writer since, well, I could form letters and words together to form a sentence.  I have poems, posts, and stories from over 20 years ago…

Yet I found this blog post tonight, and found it fitting in my goals here.  It was the blog post I wrote when I completed my first (and only) 1/2 marathon in 2007. 

Also note, my main picture is from this very race…

…goal number 1 of many on my “life list”…yes, I finished the 1/2 Marathon that I’ve been talking about for months now.
Many wondered why I chose to run the marathon so “out of the blue” so to speak. And I guess only I know why I chose to run this race when I did.
But let me bring you back to yesterday…just a quick overview of a beautiful day. I wish I could say I got a good nights sleep the night before, but I think my nerves got the best of me. Thank goodness for my undying need to prepare for everything, I set out my clothes, IPOD, shoes, pinned my number on my shirt, and even put my chip on my shoe the night before. I went to bed early, 9 p.m., which for those of you that know me – know this is VERY early for me…but tossed and turned all night in anticipation for the race.
Brian woke me promptly at 0445, and I got ready and came down stairs to have coffee and a breakfast bar and some Gatorade. The girls also were woken up (unhappily-poor Sophia is teething, LOL) and Brian swiftly made sure they were all taken care of so I could concentrate on “me.” Once my friend/neighbor April who was riding with us showed up at 0545, we piled in the car and headed downtown.
What a sight! Once we arrived there were thousands of people walking towards the Alamo, which was the starting point. Brian dropped us off and we quickly headed towards the bathrooms knowing full well the lines would be long and we wouldn’t want to fight them later. Then it was time to merge in with the crowd and wait for the gun to sound…and once it did, let me tell you…what a rush…it took a minute or so to actually cross the starting line because of the massive amounts of people, but once you did and saw all the people cheering for you, I can’t explain the feeling…it was truly amazing. The race had finally began! The first few miles I had a hard time finding my groove. April and I were still running together at this point, and we were running at about a 9 minute mile pace. I had a cramp in my shoulder, I was worried about the people passing me, and the pace we were going at was just a bit quick for the distance we had to go. But then we rounded the corner after mile 4 and I saw Brian holding Sophia, and Jordyn holding up a sign she made saying “Go Mom Go!” and I got tears in my eyes and a sudden burst of energy. It was awesome to see them, and it truly gave me the energy to keep going. At about mile 5 I stopped quickly to use the restroom, and then around mile 6 or 7 I just got a sudden burst of energy. I took off…I looked back at April, she smiled and waved, and I just booked…we were in a beautiful residential area and the scenery was breathtaking. I got lost in my “zone” and it was great…this is why I love to run…you just escape…I stayed there for a couple miles, going at about an 8 or 9 minute mile pace. April and I met back up for a while and we started to see the people headed back after the turn around. We started to get excited…only to realize the turn around was still a couple miles up, LOL…she stopped to use the bathroom, and I kept going…the turnaround was at around mile 9 I believe…and it was awesome to see her on my way back, we high fived and I kept going.
Mile 10 I hit my “Wall” and slowed down…I knew if I stopped it would be over so I kept running, but literally every muscle in my body hurt. I could barely lift my legs. I had talk myself through it…I had to remind myself why I chose to run this race…that I needed to complete this for ME, and no one else…that this was a dream of MINE, and only I could make it come true…
Mile 11…only 2.1 to go…water stop and some Gu (nasty stuff by the way) and I kept going…my feet felt like bricks but I didn’t care…I saw people walking and it literally appalled me. We only had 2 miles left!!! Run people…Run! And then we hit mile 12.
One mile to go…I could see the Alamo Dome…I picked up my pace even though I felt like my knee was going to give out. I saw the turn into the parking lot and I couldn’t help but to smile. And then it was my turn…I turned left into the parking lot…and I ripped off my headphones…I wasn’t going to miss this for the world…people were cheering on both sides and all of a sudden I didn’t feel any pain. My shoulders straightened, my pace picked up, and I ran with everything I had down into the tunnel…and then I heard my name being called…”Michelle Dragoo”…I FINISHED…

I am still getting used to this single parent gig.  Although sadly having done it dozens of times it should be old hat…yet, sadly, it isn’t.  My husband is my supporter, helper, friend, Dad, and the best husband I could ask for in life. 
So I have gone back to my roots in this running journey and life as a whole.  Preparing meals ahead of time the night before even though school work is calling my name.  My nights are short, and days even longer, but knowing my strength I know I will plug along.  Laundry, chores, mopping, cleaning, homework, kid’s homework, and oh yeah, my job all have their place in my life.
While trying to keep on our frugal budget I have made a menu that although some may say boring, is health full and provides me with the sustenance I need to get through each day.

I start by boiling a hand full of eggs (oh and the bacon from my previous post).  I bring 3 eggs whites with me, along with a piece or two of bacon to work for breakfast.

I make sure to discard the yolks, knowing I have a family history of high cholesterol.

Next I season with some wonderful seasoning we bought at a local spice store, in Geneva, IL.  Salt free!

Now it’s time to assemble my sandwich.  I use whole grain mini rounds I bought from Costco, that are super healthy with fiber and vitamins.  I also use fresh romaine lettuce, red onions, dijon mustard, colby cheese, and hard salami.  I know all of these elements are NOT fat free, but collectively make for a healthy meal. 

Romain lettuce, trim the ribs off!

red onions give a bit of zip to this sammich, yeah, sammich

Hard salami and dijon mustard are a winning hit!  colby cheese!  my favorite, and easy on the tummy!

whole lotta YUM!

Add in some fresh baby dill pickles and your meal is balanced and complete.  I also enjoy munching on baby pea pods for a healthy snack!

My goal this week is simply to surpass my mileage from last week by a mile or so.  Finals are looming, single Mom duty is in full force, but I can at least try to eat healthy, and exercise for me, and my girls. 

love and blessings to all that take the time to support me.  I couldn’t do this without those who keep me close.