I used to be one, who lived in the past, be it past mistakes or failures…I would hang on to those memories as if they were my life line Yet I’ve realized as of late that I need to move forward, instead of hanging on to the past.
Yet that doesn’t help my aging face, thinning hair, or withering body from wondering where, WHERE did the time go? My husband fell in love with a beautiful, vibrant, blonde woman…she stood confidently in a bar, smiling coyly at him, and captured his heart instantly. This woman had flowing, long blonde hair, and had a spirit that mirrored her physical characteristics. She was at the pinnacle of a successful Air Force career, having just been promoted to TSgt, (E-6), and her confidence lit up even the darkest of rooms. Yet now here I am, with the aging process in full force, and I can’t help but to wonder what happened to that ‘girl’ that won my husband’s heart. I still have the drive, the passion, and sadly even the past scars that have made me who I am. But I look at the picture below, and miss the outward beauty that I once had.
Yes, I know beauty comes from within…but I never used to hate looking in the mirror. Yet now, I avoid it at all costs.
But instead of wallowing while my husband is gone for the next four months, I will work my tail off being a better Mom, career woman, and althete. And in between I will squeeze in all the little things I love.
I may not be who I was once on the outside. But my soul, passion, and self worth continue to grow.
Last week I completed 28 miles of BLISS. 17 miles of running, and 11 miles of biking. All while finishing my Graduate degree and being a single Mom.
I can’t turn back time…I can’t erase the wrinkles and scars…but I CAN keep moving forward. Trying to find my beauty and confidence again, one step at a time.
|me ten years ago|
Love and blessings to all…