1.   My first week without my Husband sadly has been normal.  Quiet.  We’ve gone through the motions as we always do when he has been called to duty.  I continue to work, study, take care of the house and kids…

2.  My home is oddly quiet once the kids are in bed…

3.  I’ve realized through pure diagnosis who supports me….

4.  I have only ran (this IS a running blog right?) twice this week.  The wind, cold, and snow has caused my joints to ache more than I’d like to admit.  But I worked my tail off tonight.  Cleaning, core work, studying, and even was welcomed with a lovely phone call. 

Yet the loneliness envelopes me as if I am shoved in the corner of a cave I cannot break free from.  I hear the winds blowing; nature finding it’s force pushing forward.  Yet my “push” has been lost upon a mop I sweep side to side. 

And so I gaze outside, upon the massive snowflakes falling graciously yet strongly upon my yard…

Then I see…I lone cardinal sitting in my hedge…and I smile. 

His color vibrant, amidst the stark white color that brushes over the canvas of my once green yard.

His feather billowing in the wind, wishing he could fly yet finding solace amidst the stark branches. 

His strength gives me peace.  His perch shows strength.  Proud.  With purpose.

His bright colors show he is unique, strong, and passionate.  Hmm..

I got this, right?

Gosh, I hope so…this goal is so close, yet so far away…yet I feel it.