I didn’t sleep very well last night. The never ending thoughts of, “Can I do it all” haunted me as I rushed around packing lunches, drying snow pants, and signing the infamous “daily folder” to avoid the nasty note from the teacher. Oh, and did I wash S’s ballet uniform for Monday night? Crap…her tights need to air dry. Lemme throw that last minute load of clothes in at 10 p.m. LOL
But we had a
mostly successful Monday morning with only minor drama as I dropped off S at the neighbor’s house before taking J to school. This calls for a win in my book. I also woke up to a loss of 1.4 lbs. Double WIN for a Monday!
But as I drove to work this morning sipping my yummy protein shake, (insert sarcasm here-pass me the bacon and eggs please and thanks) I thought about several things. What motivates me, what inspires me, and what keeps ME movin’ forward.
The last few years have been pretty huge for me. Between Marathons, my MasterChef tryout, and moving on to a new job this past year-I finally feel like I am finding my groove. But that underlying voice saying “GO chase your dreams” is still very real.
See, I’ve always been an oddball. A stand out…a person who never really fit in with any crowd. I’ve always felt…well…different. And that’s ok…truly. I like who I am…who I’ve become. But I’ve always felt I had a bigger purpose in life…
So while driving home tonight, I decided to think, pray, and reflect on what motivates me to keep movin’ forward. Here is the list I came up with, in no particular order:
1. To be a better Mom. I’ve failed sucktastically at this more times than I can count. But may my girls never have to feel an ounce of the sadness I did growing up. (To no fault of anyone-just life circumstances).
2. To be a better Wife. See…there’s this dude, that I call B around here, whom I love dearly. He’s made me a better ME. I can only hope to do the same for him.
3. To be a better ME. I have done more, pushed myself further, and tried harder to live life to the fullest in the last 3 years than I did in the last 42 years combined. And isn’t this the example I want to give to my girls?
You’re darn right it is.
I drove home tonight nearly in silence as I thought about ALL of this. And I realized, no matter what, my voice matters and I need…to KEEP MOVIN’ FORWARD.
And in perfect time for this post, my J came downstairs to say goodnight, in tears. Someone told her today she looked ugly, and immediately my Mama bear came out in full force. I took a deep breath, reminded her of the importance of kindness and hugged her tightly. Being a parent is so tough, yet rewarding…And THIS fuels my fire. daily.
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