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Prairie State half marathon recap, and Chicago marathon spectating!

Movin' it with Michelle

10-20-13

Gosh, I just realized I had posted a race recap from the Prairie State half marathon last weekend, nor did I share my adventures from spectating the Chicago Marathon-so here goes!!!

I signed up for this race, just coming off the Fox Valley Marathon in mere hopes that it would keep me moving.  I knew this probably wouldn’t be my PR, but heard the course was beautiful and was excited to run a new race. 

I initially planned on running it alone…driving up that morning alone, and just using this race as a head clearing mechanism.  But I was blessed that a couple runners from my run club were also running it, as well as a few others who wanted to spectate.  Since spectating this serene and quiet course is advertised as a low point, I was excited to have the support. 

Back up, to one week post FVM, where I headed out for my 10 mile run.  I thought, easy peasy, right?  WRONG. 

I felt great, until the 8 mile mark when my Achilles tendon in my right leg (bad leg mind you) seized up…CRAP.  NOT NOW.  Not after hundreds of miles of running this summer do I NOW injure myself?

Yup, you guessed it…I was hurting pretty bad.  After 2 weeks of mostly rest and LOTS of ice, I decided I would run the Prairie state half and use it as a training run.  If I hurt, I would stop…I would take lots of pictures, and just have fun with it.  I’ve never DNS’d, nor DNF’d, and this wasn’t going to be my first.   

My friend Seth and Don picked me up bright and early, and we met the girls (Kelly, Deb and Christi) at Dick Pond at 5:45.  We all piled into Christi’s SUV and were on our way to Libertyville, IL. 

We got to the race, picked up our packets, and I anxiously asked about a dozen times, “what time is it?”  LOL….

It was time to line up-and I felt very nervous…usually half marathons don’t make me nervous, but with my injured Achilles I wondered truly, “Can I run 13.1 miles?”

Here we gooooooooooooooooo!

 

 

The course was beautiful…and it was such a blessing to have my friends out there with me, even if I only saw them a couple times.  I knew early on this would NOT be a PR, and hit the turnaround point at 1:02. 

The beauty of this race was amazing!

 

For the second half, I decided stopping when needing to stretch, take pics, and cheer other runners on would be how I finished strong.  I was hurting, and I couldn’t mentally get into this race because my leg just simply hurt, from hip to toe. 

yes, I am applying biofreeze at the half way point, LOL. 

 

But…I had fun, and finished with a fairly decent time of 2:13, so I won’t complain.  My friends did amazing, and I was SOOOOO proud of them for their PR’s!

Best, friends, ever!!
My bloody Mary, to celebrate half Mary number 8!

 

The next day, we got up bright and early again to go spectate the Chicago Marathon.  Let me tell you, I am still in awe of the enormity of this race, and how important both spectators, volunteers and runners are to make this race happen. 

Here are a few highlights, for words can’t express the emotion I had today-reliving my very first full marathon!

Us being goofy!

Kenyans….need I say more!

Best post marathon hug, EVER!

Spectators in action!  SOOO MUCH FUN!

me and Christi at the half way point

All in all, a wonderful weekend, and I would do it all again!!!

#keepmovinforward
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First double digit miles post marathon and snarkyness. Yup.

Movin' it with Michelle

This week was a bit of a blur for me.  I started my teaching job again just yesterday, so much of the week was spent concentrating on lesson plans, preparation, and of course much needed rest after my marathon.

I didn’t run last week.  I walked twice, a 2 mile and 3 mile jaunt around my neighborhood. 

Yet I don’t think it was quite enough. 

I woke up this morning feeling ‘off.’  Not ready for any sort of mileage, but needing to get at least 8-10 miles under my feet.  I dressed, ate, and used the rest room more times than I care to admit.  My poor tummy was NOT happy. 

I decided the smartest move I could make, was to head out to my favorite trails. I hopped in my jeep and set out for Geneva where I have parked countless times for SOOOOO many runs.  After I parked, I got a message from Karen over at Tradingingmyheels.com asking if I found someone to run with!  I was elated. 

I told her I was in Geneva, and bless her heart she ran towards me to catch me on the trail. 
love this girl!
 

I tell you what, seeing her smiling face did my soul wonders.  I had NO clue how my legs would get me through ten miles, yet great conversation and laughter made it SO much easier. 

We got on the topic of “snarky” people.  Yup…those that speak without filter, and how it affects us…

I used to NOT have a filter.  I’ll admit it…it’s taken me years to work on NOT always saying what I feel, because I know in the end it may hurt feelings, and that is the last thing I want to do…

Do you have snarky people in your life?  The ones who say things that seem to stab your heart with pain?

If so, how do you handle it?

Ultimately, my morning went off with only minor setbacks.  My Achilles tendon in my right leg is still screaming after ice, and bio freeze, so I just took some Tylenol and put on a compression sleeve.  Foam rolling didn’t add any relief. 

But this post, will end on a hugely positive note. 

I have lived in my current location for 2 ½ years now, and have the very best of friends. Some I see often, others I see only rarely.  But they share my joys, heartaches, and passions.  Some I have only ran with, and never spent time with ‘socially’ yet they KNOW me, love me, and more so BELIEVE in me. 
My happy place
 

Life is good. 
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New 6 month goal map

Movin' it with Michelle

 

Time for new goals…

I swore I’d never run another full marathon after the Chicago marathon last year.  But after running the first training run as a half marathon pacer this past summer, the bug bit me hard, and I was thankful I signed up for the flex option.  This option allows you to decide on packet pick up day which race you want to run…13.1, 20 miler, or 26.2.  As you all know, I grabbed that 26.2 bib with a vengeance, and will never look back. 

So now, with my second full marathon on my belt, I have to decide what my new goals are going to be…Sub 4 marathon?  HAHAHA…just joking.  No, I plan on concentrating on a few other things.  I was blessed this past Sunday that the running Gods were with me, and I don’t plan on testing the full marathon waters again, any time soon.

So my 6 month goal plan is this for the winter:

1.    Stick with my limited/no gluten eating.  I have dropped 5 lbs, and have 5 to go…I see that wheat belly fading after just 4 weeks of limiting wheat/gluten. 

2.    Work on my form…I notice the farther I run, the more ‘hunched’ I get, and I know it isn’t proper form.  The pictures my family took this past Sunday were amazing, but truly showed me that as the miles tacked on, my form SUCKED more and more. 

3.    Build up my quads to help strengthen my knee.  (Yes a squat challenge WILL be happening).

4.    Kick my sub 2 hour ½ marathon goal in the tail.  This will truly be my focus over the fall/winter/spring months.  I am so close at a 2:02. 

5.    Remain positive in life, be it work, family, or running.  

6.    Focus on what I HAVE, WHO I have in my life, and the blessings I see daily.  Not everyone will be our cheerleader in life…but man I sure have some great support.

7.    Keep dreaming BIG, and working hard.  I know ‘it’ will happen eventually. 

Not sure how many half marathons I will sign up for this season, but I do know the half is my favorite ‘distance’ race, and I plan to kill it.  Repeatedly.

I need to keep moving forward, and leave the rest behind me. 
THIS is pure joy
 

So tonight I signed up for my 8th half marathon which is in 2 weeks, in a venue I have never traveled. 

I know one person running this race via facebook, but have no close friends running it.  So this race will mark my place in the running world, as a solo racer.  That is my one, possible ‘downfall’ of being a runner.  I don’t race well with others.  (Except my sister, LOL)

I LOVE to train with others, but my race has always been mine, and mine alone.  It’s MY time, my race, and my effort all wrapped into a few hours of my life that I know I will never forget.  For each race is a journey…and this is why I love RACING.  

So with my new goals laid out, I leave you with this…you can keep moving forward, or you can let others squash your joy.  What will you choose?  Do you race with friends or prefer solo?

 

#keepmovinforward
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Fox Valley Marathon, 2013 recap

Movin' it with Michelle
Fox Valley Marathon

I will start this post with the fact that I have the most amazing family.  Well.  Ever. 

My folks drove all the way from Minnesota to see my race, as well as my sister driving over an hour this morning just to spectate me running.  My oldest daughter’s birthday is TODAY, but she gave me the blessing to sign up, in turn I said it was totally ok for her to sleep in this morning and miss the race.  LOL. 

I spent last night chatting with my husband and folks while getting my gear ready.  They understood that I needed to get to bed early, so after several hugs and kisses, I turned in by 10 pm last night, with a wake up of 5 am set. 

My alarm went off, and I had my ‘assembly line’ set from the night before.  Pee…Vaseline toes, put on sox, biofreeze knee, put on calf sleeves and knee brace, dress, and wash face and brush teeth.  It’s almost like clockwork now it seems…I donned my visor and glasses, and grabbed my bag and set it by the door.  I had just enough time to drink 2 bottles of water, eat my granola bar and peanut butter just before Janel arrived. 

We piled into Katy’s SUV, and hit the road to Dick Pond to park and use the facilities.   We got to the gear check with 20 minutes to spare, and saw my dear friend Andrea.  Hugs, near tears, and laughter ensued.  What an awesome morning with near perfect weather. 

We decided before the start, that we would each run our own race, while trying to stay together as long as we could.  The first few miles, Melissa, Janel, Amy, Carina, and Katy stuck together.  We started to spread out, but we knew this would happen eventually and were all ok with that fact. 

I saw my family at several stops…and my sister was at the Fabyan Forest preserve which just totally made my morning, as I nearly clocked her in the face with high fives and hugs.  It seemed as soon as I needed them, there they were…and I got teary each time I saw them. 

By mile 7 there was quite a spread between us, but I was still able to see everyone, and Janel was still with me.  We stopped to pee around the 9 mile mark, and again around the 12 mile mark to fuel.  And then, well, magic happened. 

The elite runners were headed back, so we were forced to run nearly single file.  I found myself alone, yet knowing my friends were near.  They were in my heart, every single one of them, and I took the greatest advice of all, and ran with my heart. 

I started running a bit faster…not a ton, but was holding steady at a pace I knew I couldn’t ‘talk’ at…and it was just me, the trail, and my music.  For the first time in so very long I felt at one with the trail, the run, the race. 

High fives to many of my fellow runners along the turn back, each with a high five in which I found myself being stronger, faster, more at ease.  I settled in to a 9:30-10:00 pace, and I found myself just running. 

Not looking at my Garmin, not messing with my crap….just running. 

I was smart, and fueled at each water station, having beans every 4 or so miles. 

I ran ¾ of this RACE solo.  I raced…ran, and found myself flying more miles than I can count.  I caveat this with the fact I have been spoiled in my training and previous long distance races to have my friends and sister running with me. 

Yet here I was…with over half a marathon to run, and I was solo running, and was able to run the strongest run of my life. 

I may have been running solo…yet an Angel drove up beside me on her bike around mile 23…telling I looked strong.  This was NO Chicago Marathon dammit.  I was not shuffling, stumbling, or crying tears of pain.

No.

I hurt.  Yes…the balls of my feet felt as if they were on fire.  My right IT band was literally screaming at me to stop.

I said NO WAY.  I only had 3 miles to go. 

I wasn’t stopping now.  So I did what I could…I ran with my heart.  And I finished with my youngest daughter in tow, and my heart and eyes filled with joy and tears. 

I sobbed at the finish line. 

Sobbed. 

Tears of joy, happiness, and partial pain/release. 

I took my sub 5 hour goal, and smashed it to pieces. 

 

So now, as I listen to my favorite music coupled with a nice glass of wine, I am beyond words. 

My eyes are full of tears, because just three weeks ago I had doubts I would finish. 

I am a broken runner.

I said it…but I am a woman that has learned that the only limitations in my life are the ones I give myself. 

I will not falter…and no, I will not fail. 

Mile times are as follows:

10:24, 954, 10:06, 10:05, 10:03, 10:52, 10:01, 10:15, 10:51, 10:17, 9:48, 11:07 (pee), 9:45, 9:28, 9:43, 9:23, 9:30, 9:53, 9:51, 10:13, 9:32, 10:29, 10:18, 10:31, 9:37 respectively. 

 

#keepmovinforward
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Race week, WHA!!!!! T-7 days!

Movin' it with Michelle

9-15

Today marked the triumphant ‘last long run’ before my marathon.   I woke up at 3 am in a panic thinking I was late for work…crap, no, I didn’t have to get up until 6:45 am…dammit, took me another hour to fall back asleep.  LOL. 

I got up, a little out of sorts as it was pouring rain out…really?  My last few runs I haven’t been able to catch a break with Mother Nature, so this was no different. 

I had spent the better part of yesterday in massage therapy, with bruises resulting in the ‘working out’ of my pour IT band and knee/calf issues.  I pulled on my compression capri pants, tank, and long sleeve jacket.  It was a balmy 55 degrees, with rain, and the worst thing that could happen right now is me getting sick.  Over dressing was key. 

I met up with Janel and Melissa and we took off pretty quickly.  We only needed 8 miles, so we would do a 4 mile out and back.  We chatted, felt ok, yet I felt a pottie stop needed early on.  As we got to the Fabyan windmill who did we see?  Bob and Diane Miller….two of my favorite people.  After my quick pottie break and hugs we kept moving towards our 4 mile mark/turn around point. 
photo via FVM
 

It was raining, we were getting soaked, yet the feeling of being with these two ladies who have ran with me more times than I can count swept over me…and I suddenly didn’t ‘hurt’ anymore.  As we were running past Geneva back towards St. Charles, who did we see?  All of the other committee members who met up to do their 3-6 miles.  Goosebumps and laughter along with smiles and slight tears, and I knew I could do this…

We ran…laughed…talked…vented…and envisioned the finish line. 

And then, we grouped up, as one huge team of race committee members, and we ran the finish line.
photo via FVM
 

Yes, I only just ran 8 miles…but I cried…I couldn’t help it.  I have come so far, seen so much, and embraced so many friendships that I just couldn’t hold it in any longer. 

We had coffee afterwards, and the volunteers not running the race got their tee-shirts and medals.  I felt so honored to be with all of these amazing people. 

It was time to say goodbye and head home, and one of the race CREATORS hugged me, thanking me, and told me that I am an inspiration to all…I cried again, yup.  What an amazing morning. 
two very amazing men…photo via FVM
 

This has been the most emotional ‘race’ I have ever trained for…maybe because I am helping behind the scenes this year, maybe because I have several friends training for their first full…and maybe, because I know in my heart this will be my last 26.2 mile race.  I think mostly, because inspiring and helping others has always been my dream, and I finally feel like I am doing just that!

I don’t know…I only know I have literally changed into a woman I can now say I love.  I haven’t said that in 40 years. 

My advice to a friend (you know who you are, Andrea) in regards to the pain of training for a marathon, was this tonight:

“You aren’t breaking.  Your body is pushing you. You will not quit.  I won’t hear of it.  No. No. No.  Overcome and adapt.  You got this.  No one said it would be a walk in the park.  That’s why so few run this distance.  It isn’t easy.  It wasn’t meant to be.  But that feeling you have crossing that finish line can’t be matched.  Remember that always.  Now wipe the tears, sweat, and exhaustion away.  Brush off any negative feeling and envision the starting line.  The run.  And the finish line.”

I didn’t make it where I am, without an amazing support system.  I once doubted that ‘system’ yet realized I was looking in the wrong places. 

Support comes from within first…given second, and received lastly…

Remember always, to keep Movin’ forward

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Recipes and realizations

Movin' it with Michelle

I start this post, with a caveat to my last post. 

I have amazing support, amazing friends and family.  I am simply surprised I suppose at the lack of interest in my goals and dreams from a select few that I cherish dearly.  It is what it is, and I have decided that these few can’t outweigh the awesome people I have come to love. 

With that, I am embracing the taper and my injured (there, I said it), knee.  I am walking miles I should be running, taking vitamins and supplements like a mad woman, and hoping it will heal in the next 11 days.  (Ignore the glass of wine I am thoroughly enjoying).  I will accomplish my last 8 miler before the marathon this coming Sunday with 2 women who have changed my life, and we are awesomely known as the 3 musketeers. 

Tonight, I was tired after work.  Sleep hasn’t been the best lately, between marathon nightmares, and normal life stress I just can’t seem to STAY asleep.  I went to bed at 10 last night, which is early for me, and had Tylenol PM on board in hopes of a full 7 hours of sleep. Nope…woke up at 2, again at 4, and sadly my alarm goes off at 4:45.  So I took a quick cat nap on my chair, and decided to pull myself up and cook dinner!  It’s my second favorite thing to do besides running. 

Here is what we have tonight…
 

Pan seared chicken with garlic and roasted veggies in butter and white wine, served over gluten free rice pasta. 

For this recipe you will need:

4 large chicken breasts

4-5 cloves of garlic, minced

½ of a large white onion, chopped

1 red pepper, chopped

1 yellow pepper, chopped

1 cup of sugar snap peas, left whole

¼ cup of green onions thinly sliced (set aside for garnish)

¼ cup extra virgin olive oil

A splash of avocado oil

3 pats of butter, unsalted

2 cups of white wine

Preheat your oven to 350, and start preheating your skillet on medium temperature. 

Add your oils to the pan, along with the garlic and sauté until very light brown. 

Pat dry your chicken breasts, and salt and pepper generously.  Turn the heat up to medium high, and brown the first side for about 5-7 minutes.  Flip your chicken, and add a pat and a half of butter.  Once melted, ladle the butter repeatedly over the chicken.  Brown on both sides, and turn off the gas. 

While the chicken is browning, chop your veggies.  Add the chopped veggies to a large casserole dish, and drizzle with extra virgin olive oil and sprinkle with salt and pepper.  Top the veggies with the chicken breasts, and pour over the entire dish the 2 cups of white wine.   Feel free to add some of the butter you ladled over the chicken for additional flavor. 

Bake the chicken for approximately 35 minutes. 

While the dish is roasting gently in the oven, approximately 10 minutes before the chicken is done, cook a box of rice pasta according to package directions (5-7 minutes).  Once cooked, drain, and add the remaining butter and green onions. 

Place the pasta mixture in the bottom of a serving dish, and add some of the roasted veggies.  Top with the chicken, and ladle over the white wine sauce that has been reduced. 

Time to serve!  This was a huge hit with my family. 

T-11 days until the marathon…I am still uneasy, but know my heart and passion will get me through the miles. 

 

 

#movinforwardfitness
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Revisting the River…T-16 days

Movin' it with Michelle

The Fox River trails are normally my happy place; my place of peace. 

But last weekend on my 20 miler, the Fox River Trails and I battled…big time.  My once happy place of peace had been transformed in to 20 miles of hurt, mental heart ache, and blinding rain in my face.  My knee felt like it was going to explode, and I felt my dreams of a sub 5 hour marathon dwindling nearly as fast as the tears and rain poured down my face. 

I know we all need craptastic runs…all of our training runs can’t be effortless experiences of bliss.  I know this…

But when you have been seriouslytraining for 10 weeks (I started a few weeks late, since I was already at the half marathon distance I researched and found this to be acceptable to jump in with full marathon training), I had hoped my 20 miler would at least go smoothly. 

Without effort?  Nope…but a strong run was all I wanted. 

If you read my last post, you know there was nothing strong about this run, except for the determination I had to finish the miles. 

So I took Sunday off, fighting the urge to run just a few recovery miles…heck who was I fooling?  I was still limping.  It wasn’t going to happen. 

I did walk the streets of Chicago with my family on Monday, enjoying an awesome Labor day filled with shopping, walking, and site seeing in the world’s greatest city.

Back to work on Tuesday and I went back and forth with running…nope.  Knee still had that ache, and I can’t afford to injure myself further this late in the game.  So instead I enjoyed my first day of being able to pick up my daughter from the bus, helped her with homework, and cooked some amazing orange chicken with jalapeno peppers and rice pasta. 

This week I am on the 4 am shift, and this shift always kicks my tail.  I am a night owl by nature, and going to bed before 10 just doesn’t happen with busy household, chores, and kid’s homework…after work I was tired.  My tummy is acting a little funny still (post run yucks), but I didn’t give myself an option.  I changed immediately after work, and laced up my shoes. 

I could’ve run in my neighborhood…but that would’ve been too easy. 

No…I needed to revisit the river trails.  We had to find peace…

So I parked my Jeep in downtown Geneva near the bike shop which is located adjacent to the river.  I have parked my Jeep in the same spot for nearly 2 years, and have so many fond memories of this venue for running.  I met my dear friend Carolyn here for the first time, I have run countless training runs starting and finishing on this trail solo, and my hubby and I had our first run date here. 

I started out slow…(heck I finished slow for me), mindful of the twinge in my knee.  But I ran…I stopped several times to embrace the beauty of these trails I have loved and wanted to “make up” with…I saw chipmunks, cranes, geese, and several more creatures that God placed on the path in strategic places knowing I would stop and snap a photo…these stops gave me just enough rest, but deep down I was at odds with this run knowing I never stop on a short run….ever.  My goal was 5 miles, but I only managed 3.5 miles total. 

 

But the river and I…well, we are starting to see eye to eye again. 

My confidence of running a sub 5 hour marathon may be diminished…but in the end, I know I will finish this race, and finish it with pride. 

The river will be running, right alongside me…and in the end, that peaceful bliss I get from running in my favorite place in the world is all that matters. 

#movinforwardfitness
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20 mile training run recap…The Hay is in the barn…

Movin' it with Michelle

8-31-20 miler recap

Gosh…where do I start…

I pulled up to Dick Pond promptly at 6 am, ready to run 20 miles in some possible crazy weather…yet nothing could have prepared me for this one. 

I saw Bob and Diane Miller who recently lost their son and wrapped my arms around both of them.  Tears were shed, and I had to hold back my sobs.  Why do bad things have to happen to such amazing people?  Sigh…

I was blessed to see Karen from Trading in my Heels, as well as my running family all around me.  I thought for sure I would nail this run…little did I know that was SO far from the truth. 

I strapped on both Garmins, and wore my FVM pacer hat proudly.  I have been able to pace 4 out of the 5 training runs, and felt fairly confident.  My knee had been bugging me this week, but I set aside the pain and briefed my group that I would do my best to hold pace.  I was in it for the 20 miles regardless, although the race directors switched the course to a 16 mile course with an additional 4 mile loop for those that wanted to continue. 

The first few miles heading south to Geneva were nice…I ran with fellow pacer Dave on one side, with Janel on my other side…I felt good and we held a nice strong 10:30ish pace.  Just after passing through Geneva, the rain started…we all thought, “This is a nice cool down,” until the sky turned black and it started POURING.  We were soaked within seconds, and I knew my poor feet were screwed.  My knee brace was soaked, and as I kept pulling it up, I felt a tug just underneath my knee cap.  I figured I could brush it off…again, what the heck did I know. 

Several showers later, we made it to the turnaround point.  High fives and “Good mornings” were shared between groups and by mile 10 I still felt good.  We made it past the hill from hell, and then the lightening started, coupled with MORE down pours and my heart started to sink.  I couldn’t get my mind straight, hell, I couldn’t SEE straight as the rain pooled on the brim of the hat I was so proud to be wearing.  I was fading…and fast.  Most of my group started to move forward, and my knee started to SCREAM at me at the 15 mile mark.  I wasn’t sure if I was crying or if it was the rain, but I was limping so bad I decided I needed to stop and stretch/walk for a second to regroup. 

As I started running again, I saw my pace group about a quarter mile ahead of me, and my heart began to hurt.  I felt like a complete failure. 

The turnaround point for the additional 4 mile loop that was needed to complete the full 20 miles slapped me in the face, yet I turned back to the south and decided I’d finish the distance regardless of pace. 

I was alone, and although I love running alone, I was at a point where all I wanted was SOMEONE to run with me…

I stopped to walk again as my knee torqued in pain, and I heard a voice…”Michelle, is your knee ok?”  I turned, and there was Jack Erwin, a fellow vet, and runner I met last year during these training runs.  With tears in my eyes, I said, “No…”  He quickly handed me some numbing cream for my knee, and I smiled through my tears…”Thank you” was all I could muster up as I was at a complete loss for words.  He ran by my side, talking, encouraging, and keeping me moving.  I offered for him to keep going each time I walked/slowed.  Yet when he said, “No, I will never leave a fellow comrade behind,” I found myself holding back the tears.  I was brought back to my military days and a whole new sense of pride and longing filled my heart. 

We ran slowly, walked some, yet made it back to Dick Pond with 20.5 miles under our belts. 

Do I feel confident for my marathon in 3 weeks?  Hell no…

But as I walked in to Dick Pond, more so hobbled, I was welcomed with open arms by my friends.  I sobbed like a school girl, and then cried some more…

As Glen (the owner of Dick Pond) was getting ready to ice my knee, my calf seized up…and I realized one of my many mistakes of the day…

We were literally SOAKED to the bone.  I quickly remembered not only did I not FUEL enough for this run (I only consumed ONE bag of sport beans the entire run), but I didn’t HYDRATE enough either.  I stopped at the two water stops and had a couple Dixie cups of water, but I still had water w/Nuun in my hand held….BAD BAD BAD.  Normally I fill it up several times at various water fountains.  I am positive this lead to my demise and the uber fail in this run. 

Yet with each run, I try and find a positive spin.  I believe we have to have a few bad runs under our belts to keep things ‘real.’  While some felt like rock stars running in the thunder and lightning, I felt like a scared little girl.  This run humbled me, and brought me back to last year’s 20 mile training run when we were hit with nearly 90 degree temps, and I again fell off pace. 

With this new found lack of confidence in the one thing I truly feel I do well, I have decided to take a couple days for ‘me’ to step back…feel sorry for myself…cry…and cry some more in order to get all the BAD out, so that I can refocus and regroup for the next 3 weeks of tapering. 

I have been promised by Andrea that although I allowed a couple days, she will quickly be ‘clearing my table.’  Pity party for one will be short lived. 

But today, although proud I finished the distance; I am still beating myself up.  I didn’t run this training run smart, and it kicked me swiftly in the chest, ass, and knee. 

Lastly, I am counting my zillion blessings of amazing friends and family.  My phone was blowing up during this run (I can hear the text ‘ding’ as I use my phone for music) yet I couldn’t pull it out until the 17.5 mile mark when the rain finally let up…I was in awe of all the encouragement and it helped get me through those last 3 miles.  I was greeted, with open arms by my awesome friends at the finish, who allowed me to cry, yet took care of my knee all at the same time. 

So while this run may have SUCKED…I came out on top…between the friends I have found through running, my fb page, and real life, I truly couldn’t ask for more. 

The hay is officially in the barn…

 
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Week 14, and my nearly 14 year old…

Movin' it with Michelle

There are moments in life we often wish we could forget. 

There are moments in life we wish we could hold on to forever.

There are GREAT training runs we are proud of.

And there are days, even weeks we wish we could just put behind us. 

I have been training now for 14 weeks respectively.  I have been working in a new job that although I love, I have found myself complaining about the hours. 

Today, I kicked myself for complaining.  For I have a job that pays decently, and I have a roof over my head and food on my table. 

What I don’t have, is a happy household. 

There. 

I said it. 

I have struggled with my teenager for longer than I care to admit.  Long work hours, husband traveling, and now added training hours, I am sure have not helped. 

We hit our cross road today when I got home from my long run of 14 miles, and hubby was away for a well-deserved weekend of fun.

The run?

Went quite well despite a few hic-ups…I was able to get a couple ‘flying miles’ in, and spend a couple hours with some very dear running friends.  It was by far, not my best long run, and I admittedly was a bit disappointed in my average pace of 10:31 for 14 miles.  But we finished strong, and I was satisfied.

I came home to my normal hormonal teen, and immediately the bliss I felt on the trails was replaced with anger, hurt, and disappointment in me as a Mother.  We fought, and I poured myself into a hot shower hoping for relief. 

Yet as I got out of the shower I felt something was ‘off.’  I went to her room to check on her, and found a dark room, and the doors of the front closet where we keep shoes, left wide open. 

She.  Was gone. 

I panicked. 

Grabbed my youngest after throwing on some clothes, and searched the neighborhood…texted her friends, drove, cried, and searched for my child whom I can’t seem to connect with…

And my heart broke a little more with every neighborhood we drove through, with no child in site. 

Within 30 minutes she called my cell phone from our house phone.  She was safe, home, and aware of what she did wrong. 

But who truly has done wrong?

I am left feeling as if I am failing her as a Mother…

Her biggest concern is the length of her punishment…normal, for sure for a nearly 14 year old. 

But does she not see the importance of communication and treating people with respect and kindness?  Are my efforts truly falling on deaf ears? 

Do I work too much?  Run too far?  Am I too hard on her? 

Probably. 

I am still having a hard time finding the words.  I thought I could pour myself in to my new Garmin, but even THAT I couldn’t figure out…

It seems despite a strong training season, I am lacking in so many other areas.  I am often left to feel as if I don’t belong in my own home.

Yup…I said that too…

After a time, you find yourself giving, and giving, and giving some more…until you have nothing left to give and your heart feeling empty. 

So tonight, I allowed myself dinner with friends, so that I could not only GIVE, but receive kindness and support. 

Yet still the hole in my heart is aching, and I have a void to fill with my daughter before it’s too late…I don’t want to hit that stage with her…and I pray we have a chance to mend broken bridges. 

So this coming weekend on my 20 miler, I will be pacing, yet more than likely running 95% silently, in my own head and heart in hopes of finding a balance between work, Motherhood, and my own passions. 

Re-reading this, I realize it may be too much to ‘put out there’ but holding it all in any long would be too much….

I may be quiet for a bit…as I search for my balance and peace.  I can’t keep preaching what I don’t practice.  But, I am truly thankful for the select few who have been there throughout this crazy process we call ‘Marathon training’ and life.  Y’all rock. 

Week 14 of training.  Completed. 
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Pictureless post! T-34 days!!!!!

Movin' it with Michelle

Pictureless post

My morning started out early, with the alarm going off at 5 am, and my immediate reaction to my scratchy throat was to grab my water bottle…Oh no…I don’t have time to be sick. But after weeks of not sleeping and increasing miles, I am beginning to wonder if it’s inevitable.  I got up, started to get ready, and my charm ‘Be Strong” that I wore to the Fox Valley 20 miler and Chicago Marathon last year-fell quickly to the floor.  I heard the ‘clink’ as it hit the bathroom floor and my heart sank.  Is this how today’s 18 miler was going to go down too?  With a clink, and not a BANG!?  Nope, I was determined…

I came down the kitchen and had 2 vitamin C tabs along with my granola bar and 5 hour energy.  I gathered my gear, and hit the road at 5:45 so I could get to Geneva Running Outfitters early enough to go over the maps and settle down. 

I got to see all my amazing fellow runners, and my spirit lifted.  We got our group together, and it was time to hit the trails at 0630…suddenly, my Garmin wouldn’t pick up the satellite.  SERIOUSLY?  I was a little nervous as last night it randomly turned on by itself, showing it wasn’t charged even though I charged it all day, and now no satellite.  Argh…How does a pacer keep pace with NO GARMIN?  I know my pace quite well internally thankfully, and Katy had her watch so we kept rolling. 

Around mile 3 I was able to get some sort of read on it, but it was saying we were running a 9:05 pace.  HAH.  That’s just plain funny for me and a long run.  So I just let it go.  Enough quirks in the beginning of a long run can totally mess with you mentally, and I wasn’t ready to throw in the towel just yet. 

Our group consisted of maybe 20 runners to start out with, one of which was a 10 year old boy training for his half marathon NEXT weekend.  His Mom was amazing, meeting us every few miles with smiles and fuel for her son.  This amazing little boy talked our ears off, and kept our hearts singing…(at least mine)…I felt blessed to be a part of his group.  He broke off at the 12 mile mark, and suddenly things got quiet, and a little more ‘real.’ 

The hill from hell as I will kindly name it hit us like a ton of bricks at mile 16.  We had just stopped for the last water stop, and the Shot Blok I ate was suddenly NOT going down…I barreled up the hill, because that’s what I do, and the Shot Blok threatened to exit my increasingly upset stomach…I held it down, and although we lost most of our group at the water stop, we were almost thankful we could slow down a touch to try and regroup.  

It was just Katy and I at this point, and we were hating life, and the run…we decided that mile 17-18 was the LONGEST mile ever, and I began to wonder who stole the trail from me and stuck me on a moving treadmill outside. 

BUT…we kept pace…we actually were around the  10:19/10:20 pace for the entire run, and the group said “keep going” to which we accommodated. 

18 miles, in 3:06:45.  I’ll take it.  8 more miles to the finish line…lets pray this pace HOLDS. 

 

#movinforwardfitness