moving forward

My daughter’s words.

It’s amazing how quickly time flies. And then one day your kids finally “see” who you are and what you’ve been through. I found this fitting to share as Mother’s Day approaches as well as the graduation of my first born. This essay is written by my daughter Jordyn, about me, and I’ve never been so touched.

The Journey to Happiness
People talk about how rising up out of the ashes is some miraculous feat that happens in the blink of an eye. What they fail to realize is that the real struggle of rising out of those ashes is simply the choice to get up in the first place. Coming back from hardships and difficulties is something that people do everyday, but often it’s something you hear about more than one is actually able to witness it. I’ve been apart of my Mom’s journey to pick herself back up. Despite many hazy memories, and missing puzzle pieces, it’s safe to say that the person my mom once was, was a very different person than she is now.
Her entire persona is one of who radiates strength. Strength, and kindness, and compassion for others. You talk to her and it’s immediately apparent the type of person she is. That’s one who values hard work, and perseverance. For that’s what her entire life consists of. She’s a living success story that shows how if you truly put your mind towards something, you’re likely to achieve it. That dedication has been something that I’ve grown up with; something that I see in myself now. Growing up with her as my mom has allowed me to see multiple different sides of her. I know of all of her facade’s, and which ones come out in certain situations. She may come off as cold, but she’s really not. I think that her life has shaped her into a person that is more reserved in order to gain a feeling of her surroundings, like a lion observing a herd of deer. However, she has one of the kindest, most caring hearts of anyone I’ve ever known. Her laugh is rare, but incredibly contagious. It’s the type of laugh that reminds you of the first ray of sunlight peeking over the edge of the world. It’s warm, and comforting; positively beautiful. The fact that it’s rare just makes it that much more captivating every time you hear it. The pure joy that shines through her at moments such as when she laughs, makes up a large portion of who she is as a person.
My Mom grew up in Duluth, Minnesota. Her home was incredibly old, and small. Small enough to the point where you could fit it inside my current home at least three times. But, nevertheless, it was her home. She was never content with her life in her highschool years, and while she rarely speaks about those times, I’ve put together enough pieces to know that she had a difficult childhood. Before she even graduated high school she enrolled in the Air Force, with a goal to build a new life for herself. One that she could shape and create. Despite this choice, and despite her goal of this new life, everyone has their setbacks. For my Mom she had many. Probably more than she ever deserved, but sometimes we don’t always have control over that; she sure didn’t. It was like no matter how hard she tried, how hard she worked, there was always something that was in the way. In my opinion, though it goes against my entire existence, her worst setback was meeting my birth father. I think that her life may have turned out very different had she not met him, had she not let his influence over her hold too strong. With my birth father came along with her having to deal with a drug addict, an abusive relationship, and me of course. Not saying that having me was a bad thing, but the circumstances in which she had me wasn’t how she would have wanted. I think having me was really the turning point for her; it was when she realized that things needed to change, and that only she could really make that happen.
Upon realizing this she divorced my birth dad, not only for me, but for herself as well. Without him in her life, there would be significantly less negativity, and she knew that. Her and I were homeless for the first year of my life and lived with her best friend, and my God Mom. She saved up and worked and worked and worked. Eventually we were able to move into a trailer home, and from there we moved into a townhouse. Even though we were tight on money I remember enough to know that she always provided me with what I needed, and then some. Whether that be toys, or treats, or even signing me up for ballet lessons. She always did her best to provide for me. We lived alone for a few years, and then she met my adoptive dad. Their story is unique in the way that they were both in the military at the time. Seeing their success story has allowed me to realize how sometimes, even when you feel like giving up, something good is always around the corner. Her strength in situations such as this, when all seems bleak, has caused me to maintain a positive outlook on things even when it may be difficult. My mom was stationed in Alaska for the Air Force, and my dad for the Army. It really is the fairy tale type of story, something my Mom deserved after all she’s been through. My dad wasn’t supposed to be stationed in Alaska, but a last minute change of plans sent him packing. Their official meeting took place at a bar, both out with friends. As soon as my mom saw my dad she told her friend “I’m going to marry that man one day”. After dating for a few months my dad got notice that he would be deploying for a year to Afghanistan. But my mom knew, knew that this man would be the rest of her life, so she waited for him. Upon his return came many happy months, and eventually a proposal. Still seeking that life for herself, and now her family, we moved to Texas. Somewhere she could truly start over.
Texas offered her that opportunity to continue to shape a new life for herself. One that involved a loving family. Her life is centered around family, it always has been. Family above all else. She’s made many sacrifices for the sake of family. I think her decision to leave the Air Force was a major one. With me and now my little sister, having two parents who are in the military was something that my parents felt wasn’t a good idea. The chance of them both being deployed at the same time was one they didn’t want to take. The Air Force helped my mom through so much. It taught her many important characteristics and she fell in love with it. I know how hard leaving must have been for her, and knowing she did it for my sister and I is something I will always carry close to my heart. That’s just the type of person she is though; one that looks after others needs before her own. Seeing this characteristic in her has made me immensely grateful that I’ve been blessed with my family, especially my mom.
I have a firm belief that everything happens for a reason. My mom endured many hardships in her life, and only came out stronger because of them. I think that the entirety of my Mom’s life has left a lasting impact on me. She’s a living representation that sometimes hitting rock bottom is necessary before you can pick yourself back up. Having her as a role model in my life, someone who I have always looked up to, has lead me to live a more successful life. For I know that giving up is never an option. She’s influenced me to believe that anything is possible if you work hard enough. My mom is happy now. She has a stable and loving family, and it’s apparent just how much her hard work paid off. If anything she’s shown me that giving up is never an option, and that even when you’re alone in the world, you at least have yourself; and sometimes that’s all you really need.

Kind regards,
Michelle

Please pardon any typos; sent from my iPhone

8 thoughts on “My daughter’s words.”

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