209 days ago my husband left for his deployment. 209. That’s a long. Freaking. Time.
We’ve had a lot of heart ache. A lot of growth. A lot of struggle. Many steps forward lead to even more steps taken backward. But always deciding to move forward regardless.
But every day we started anew. Sometimes with hard feelings from the argument the night before. Sometimes with such a heavy sadness that the physical ache in my chest started to concern me. But almost always we started with a hug, a kind word or just the presence of each other as we started our day. Together. Me and my girls.
My girls are my tribe. I see that so very clearly now. Looking back on wasted energy and jealousy of those who had these amazing groups of friends and social life makes me a little sad. Why would I not just look right in front of me? Despite all of our conflict these girls are my constant. My reason for being at least for now. They won’t always need me but they do now. And I’m thankful for that. Because together we keep moving forward.
30 weeks. Broken toilets, house repairs, teenage drama, work stress, heart breaks, missed holidays and birthdays, missed life events and everything that could go wrong that went wrong. And we’re still movin’ my friends.
Take that deployment curse.
And yes. I fixed my power washer all by myself and washed the deck and windows tonight to celebrate.
Because I can do hard things. Even when I think I can’t.
Cheers!
Michelle
30 weeks of you rocking it..holding it down and setting an amazing example to your girls!
Rock on mama!! You got this!
Good job fixing the power washer!!
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Thanks lady!!
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Your story of deployment and being a mom and sometimes dad in a pinch have been touching and a little inspirational. So many spouses have gone through this across the world and its a great story to see how they deal with it. Thanks for following me and your interest in the lives of others.
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Thank you, Tony. So glad our paths have crossed.
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GO Mama you got this handled!!!
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Thanks, Angela!!!!
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Just keep movin’ forward!
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Sometimes I need to remind myself of my own mantra!! Thanks Wendy!!!! ❤
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Great job in fixing the power washer, every time I do something like that I find it empowering! God bless you and your family.
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Thanks, Myra!!!! Your support has been amazing. ❤
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Like you, I didn’t have a large support group or a group of other women whose husbands were deployed as well. It was just me and my three boys. They were my rock, they kept me busy and helped the days, weeks and months pass. (364 days to be exact) It is so very difficult but you’re right in that you come out of it a stronger person.
What a beautiful post and tribute to your daughters! One day they will truly appreciate this difficult time with you. Blessings to you
and your family!
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Thanks so much, and kudos to you as well!!
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You’re doing a great job! And so impressive you fixed that power washer 🙂
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Thanks, Chaitali!!! I am really trying to be more handy, so I was excited I could actually go to the hardware store, ask for assistance and find the right piece to fix the power washer!
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We are so much more capable of doing things on our own when we have to. What a great role model you are to your girls!! xoxo
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Thanks, Deborah. I have many moments when I wonder if they will remember these good moments vs. the bad, ya know?
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Go Michelle!! Lead that tribe the best you can.
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I’m sure trying!!!!! Thanks so much!
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May you ever find your strength, and may it never fail when you need it most.
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Thank you so much, Kathryn!!!!! ❤
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Could you have ever imagined that you were this strong? I hope that you inspire yourself!
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Thanks, Suz. I’m not quite there yet, but ask me again come mid-February and I may have a different answer! ❤
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Seriously, you are amazing. I don’t know how you do it but you do and you are stronger than you know.
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Thanks, Fallon…I don’t know how I do it some days, too…LOL!!!
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You are strong!! Wow!! Brave and good on you. Keep plodding on..👏👏
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Thank you!
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Every day that passes brings you another day closer to him coming home! 🙂
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Thanks, Kathryn!!!! I’ll be super stoked when we can say there are only double digit days to go vs. triple digits!!
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Wow! You really are amazing and your girls are lovely — inside & out, I think.
You don’t need a huge social circle, but I do hope you have people you can call on — and don’t be afraid to do so! I know that feeling of feeling so alone sometimes when your partner is gone. 😦
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Thanks, Judy…I do have a couple very close friends but sometimes I just get nervous about reaching out or asking for help. I suppose due to some of my past experience I often shy away from actually asking for help, which can be silly I know. But I’ve found by letting it out, even if just on my blog, I feel better. 🙂
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Go you with that power washer! I’m so mechanically helpless – stuff like that would get me stressed for sure. Thank you to your husband and your family for your service to the country!!
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Thanks so much.
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Indeed – you can do hard things and you’ve proven that time and again. You rock, sista!
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Thanks Debbie!! I appreciate that!
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You are wonderful! Don’t be too hard on yourself ok? We have all felt jealous seeing what others have. The good thing is your eyes have been opened. Take care xxx
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Thanks so much, and thanks for stopping by my blog!
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😘😘😘
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See?? Just like I said. Wonder Woman.
I know to you it must seem like an eternity (and the remaining 22 likely seem that way too), but I can’t believe it’s already 30 weeks!! You got this!!
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Crazy right! The real countdown will start when we’re under 100 days left. Can’t wait!!!
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It must be incredible to look back on all the time that has passed, and to know that it’s behind you. My brother has 15 weeks left, and it’s definitely dragging on lol. But you’re surrounded by an incredible community of people who really do push each other to keep growing and becoming stronger. That’s what we’re here for!
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It’s crazy how the time drags yet flies at the same time! Many thanks to your brother and your family for your sacrifice!
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Hi Michelle, I’m so glad you came over to Life on the Bike, so I could follow you back here. As a proud Navy Daughter (Yes, a “brat”), I am very familiar, and loved, the incredible subculture of growing up military.
My mom managed to raise 3 daughters while my father was at sea for months at a time. Let me just tell you that while she managed all those tasks and chores that the parent left at home has to deal with, she made life so “normal” for us that other than missing Daddy, we had a great life.
You are doing the same for your tribe. Good for you!
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I’m so glad to have found your blog as well!!!! Thank you for sharing your story, and thank you to you and your family for your service!
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It’s amazing how kids give you the strength and courage to keep going. Great post! Thanks for sharing your story! 🙂
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Thank you, and thanks for the comment! Have a wonderful day!
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