This morning my eldest daughter and I had a fight. This is no real shocker to those that have been following my blog for a while, or for those that parent teenage daughters. As most know, the teenager is ALWAYS right and the Mom NEVER understands. The simplest question to said teen, sets off the immediate defense mode and suddenly all the progress I thought we’d made suddenly feels light years away. Sigh.
Yup. That was my morning. By 0730 hrs. and not near enough coffee all I really wanted to do was go home and crawl back into my nice warm bed so I could listen to the rain and make the world go away. But, that isn’t how real life works now, is it…so when I got the email just an hour later from my husband that he had gotten promoted to Captain I did my best to put on my game face and email him back huge congrats while I was still fighting back emotions from the fight earlier with my teen. But my initial thoughts weren’t so pretty…cuz I suck like that sometimes.
My initial thoughts were “of course you got promoted, you go off and do everything required and then some for the Army while I am at home with the kids managing on my own, dealing with mornings like this so you can progress in your career and I am tired of being last, tired of being alone, tired of raising this family by myself, I miss running, I miss my friends, I miss US.” And then I sat in my office and cried. Happy tears for him, sad tears for me that I think so selfishly sometimes. But I’ve always done what’s required of me. First for 20 years for my country, and now, the last 5 1/2 years I’ve put any career aspirations on hold for my family. And every now and then, those thoughts come up and the resentment creeps up, and I wonder…will my time every come, or is my destiny to sit in the back seat? Cuz I really don’t enjoy it back here most days.
So, to turn my mood around I texted my teen trying to reconcile our argument with less than successful results but we are at least talking. I also made sure to go and tell ALL my coworkers of my husband’s promotion to celebrate the occasion which always makes me feel better. I really AM so happy and excited for him despite my little moment. My emotions have just been out of whack due to very little communication with him, so when you add on a fight with my teen I suppose I deserve a little break. At least I recognized it quick, and have moved on from it.
But in all honestly, deployment hardships are very real. This isn’t a business trip to Tahoe, or a conference in San Diego for a few days. This is a year long deployment and I think we’ve experienced every emotion possible. I say this, to remind myself I deserve a little slack to, ya know?
So here’s a shout out to all my fellow Army wives, keeping it real and getting it done-every darn day, and a shout out to my hubby for never giving up on his dreams and getting his well deserved promotion.
How do you turn a bad moment around? Ever have to put on your happy face for someone else despite being in a horrible mood yourself?