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A runner should never have to race in fear.

A runner’s race

Every race I have ever run began with fear.  Fear I wouldn’t finish.  Fear I would get injured.  Even fear that I wouldn’t achieve my goals. 

But I’ve never feared for my life.  I have never wondered if I’d come out alive, literally.  Never.  Until today. 

Hearing the tragic news of the Boston Marathon first made my heart break, and subsequently soon thereafter made my blood boil.   

I just watched the movie “O dark 30” with my husband this past Friday night.  It brought back terrible and horrific memories of 9/11 from when I was still serving in the Air Force.  I have vivid memories of watching people fall from the towers on the news while our Blood Donor Center team went into FULL FORCE mode of collecting blood for those who were injured.  Although I wasn’t THERE, I was very much a part of that tragedy.  I sobbed like a baby afterwards reliving that tragic time in my life.  That day affected so many people…I will never be the same, because of that day…I am a little bit stronger, and a little bit more aware. 

But nothing prepared me for this…an attack on a world renowned race.  A time to celebrate so many athletes WORLD WIDE and their success in running.

And now today, as I had many friends running this race, I was brought back to that place I had hoped to never revisit. 

Fear. 

Fear for my family, friends, and loved ones, my FELLOW RUNNERS.

These people have become more to me than just runners.  They too, are family.  And I feared for their lives. 

DAMMIT.  This is what terrorists want…

They want us to be afraid.  They instill fear in us with their torturous acts.  And our fear, is their success. 

DAMMIT. 

I am a Mom.  A Wife.  A friend.  A sister.  A daughter.  A career woman. 

And I am a runner.  I will never be fast enough to qualify for Boston, but was truly touched by all those who reached out to me to make sure I was ok.   I will continue to run.  I will continue to race.  And I will run tomorrow in honor of those lost, those who suffered, and those who run this race of life along with me. 

My heart goes out to those affected, but I have to keep hope in mankind.  We have to help one another, and focus on what is important. 

Damn you terrorists.  Damn you.  But I will pray for you as well, for your hearts must be so broken that you have to attack others.  May God have mercy on you…for right now need more mercy than humanly possible.  You may have sickened me…but I will pray for you regardless. 

And I will KEEP.  ON.  RUNNING.  I will wear this bib proudly tomorrow.  For those who have lost, and those that are able to keep running. 

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13 thoughts on “A runner should never have to race in fear.

  1. Truly may God have mercy on the perpetrators since it is more than humanly possible at this time.I am making a very conscious decision and effort to focus on the positive and not let the terrorists win. I am choosing to find and exercise gratitude in all that I do and think.

  2. Problem is they targeted the wrong group of people if they were trying to break the human spirit…Runners, especially marathoners, especially Boston marathoners are some of the toughest people in the world.

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