I will first like to note that yes, I know I’ve had more than my fair share of bad days lately. Those that took the time to read my blog, comment, call, and show concern-OMG thank you. Although I had hoped to be used to taking care of the kids on my own, I now know that no one gets used to being without their best friend, spouse, soul mate, and father of their children.
A small caveat to this is that I’ve lived a very hard life. I’ve been through more than most nearly 40 year olds…Just 10 years ago I lived in an old trailer home located on Scott AFB. But even then, I did it with a pride I’ve seen in few. I spent hours in my yard and garden, and had it decorated immaculately. I was recently divorced and a single Mom, but I had great friends and had a new found belief in MYSELF.
I moved with my then 3 year old daughter, Jordyn to Alaska to venture on to new and exciting journeys while being stationed in Anchorage. I worked hard, saved, and got myself out of debt in order to buy our first home. It was a beautiful townhouse in Anchorage, and I will always have fond memories of this home. I met Brian just 8 months after arriving in Alaska, and I loved him from the first time his eyes met mine. I tried to fight it, told him I’d never marry again and that the only thing I could offer was a causal relationship. Yet just a few weeks later I knew in my heart of hearts I was in love and couldn’t spend a day of my life without him. He left a few months later for Afghanistan, and our love affair only developed. Just a month after his arrival home nearly a year later, we were engaged and married in November of 2004.
Although yes this may sound like a complete fairy tale, I can attest to the fact that we struggled for quite a few years. Financially, emotionally, and even physically when my health started to fade after the birth of my youngest. And this is where my love affair for running was reborn.
I decided on a whim to run the San Antonio ½ marathon in late September. The race was in November. But I needed it…I needed SOMETHING for me and me alone. And I did it-without walking which was my goal-in 2:19.
Now, 5 years later and a marathon entry that I didn’t complete under my belt-I know this year is mine…My husband may not be here to support me, but he does in his own special way. I continue to train, to fight, and to push forward even while he is away. I take care of our home, our kids, but refuse to let my goals surpass me this time.
So after feeling pretty run down the last couple weeks I succumbed to taking a day off work, which I never do…but I knew it was needed. Soph wanted to go to Kinder care, so I dropped her off and went for a beautiful run.
I then came home to find THIS on my door step. WOWOWOWOWOW! He wanted to cheer me up…sigh…
J and I went to see the Hunger games as a Mommy/daughter date, and we had a blast. We finished the night with Red Robin and chilling at home.
I should be cleaning, but I am letting myself relax. I have learned over these last few months that my support system is amazing be it from lifelong friends, or friends I have never even physically met…and my folks and sister do amazing at always checking on me.
Tomorrow is my 7 miles…SEVEN…may sound small to some, but I am nervous! Thank you Bobbi for driving down to run with me!!!! XOXO!!!