My day started out like any other. My alarm went off just before 6 a.m. although I had been up since 3…WHY? I had terrible nightmares of being tortured and I kept trying to scream for help, yet my scream wouldn’t develop in to any sort of sound. So I kept trying to scream until I woke up in cold sweats and had to walk around the house for a few minutes to calm myself down. Where do these dreams come from? You just never know, I suppose. I maybe fell back asleep for a few minutes, but as I reached over to push the snooze button and peaked down the hall to my eldest daughter’s bathroom I realized she had overslept. Crap…there goes my 8 minutes of snoozing (like it really matters, right?). I got up, woke her up, and prodded down the hallway to wake up my youngest. She’s always smiles in the morning, but something was off today…I asked her several times if she was ok? “I’m fine, Mommy.” We got ready, had breakfast, and did the routine of drop offs as we’ve done for the last 3 weeks.
And then I got the call from my neighbor who takes my youngest to the bus. She had developed a fever, had the chills, and I needed to come pick her up. I of course had just made my last turn before arriving to work. I pulled over, called the lab and my boss letting them know I needed to stay home. Thankfully I work with amazing and understanding people. So after my 30 minute commute back home, I picked up my youngest and we spent the day on the couch watching Disney movies. Her fever broke around noon and her appetite came back briefly. We settled back in to our movie watching with my worry alert brought back down to normal and I found myself daydreaming a lot, and thinking even more about this whole thing they call life.
Since retiring from the Air Force in 2011 after 20 years of service I have fought to search for my niche in life. I think I have found it between all my hobbies of running, writing, cooking and photography but still find myself just another 40+ year old woman that is trying to reestablish herself. We tend to lose ourselves in our kids, our marriages and our careers but what really makes US, well, US? Having had been through a lot in my life and overcoming more than can be even put in to words I created my FB page that stems from this blog. I have spent the last 2 1/2 years posting, reaching out to others to remind them they are #more and #worthsomuch and to always #keepmovinforward. It was MY way to give back to the world because I know…I know what it means to hear those words, read that story or hear that song that touches you RIGHT at the VERY MOMENT you need it to. I know.
But since the changes of FB algorithms my reach is down to nil, and the time I spend “talking” to others trying to inspire with my every day life has fallen on deaf ears. I’ve collected the data, studied the stats and compared the amount of time I spent posting anecdotes, quotes, work outs and recipes to my page. And WOW…the numbers are truly nuts. I will stand by the fact that if I can touch ONE life, help ONE person, my goal is complete. But I can’t do this when FB hides the posts of everyone who refuses to pay to promote. Out of nearly 11k followers on FB, I am lucky to ‘reach’ even just 100 people. And this number continues to decline.
Yet for the better part of 2 1/2 years I didn’t blink an eye at getting up early to post something to start people’s days, another lunch time post normally and after work I would try and motivate with my work outs or an inspirational post. At the end of the day there would be a real life adventure, or a truth post, and I would bid everyone goodnight. And it made me happy, every, single, day to reach people.
But with the changes, I can’t keep spending that much time in a venue that doesn’t value my posts ‘worthy’ of being seen. So tonight I posted my last longish truth post letting everyone know I was still there, but that they can find me here. I have a lot to offer, I think…I believe. I just have to find the right outlet. I just want to help people…I want to be that voice that says, YOU CAN. Don’t give up.
So I’ll be blogging more, and FB’ing a lot less…because I know I have things to say and share.
Here’s my day in photos….Thanks for being here, y’all.
Keep Movin’ forward!!!