I haven’t been able to run very much this past week. My mind wasn’t in the game, nor were my legs. The 8 miles I logged last week were painful, and more so took their toll on my heart. I began to wonder if I had lost my love for the run to fear.
And I hated it.
Who was I becoming? Where did that feisty fire starter go? She’s in there somewhere, dammit.
Today, was my first day HOME as I am in between jobs. I haven’t ‘not’ set my alarm for a Monday morning since I retired from the Air Force 2 years ago. And I honestly didn’t know how to digest this first day of unemployment. My new job starts in a couple weeks, sure…but today, I was without a job.
So I slept in…I gave myself that gift, for between working two jobs, kids, church, and training, sleeping in is a luxury I rarely get. Keep in mind, I used to sleep in EVERY weekend, more so just to shut my eyes off to the world. I didn’t want to ‘be’…I wanted to sleep, to forget, to NOT think. Yet the day came that I started to hate myself. Hate the fact that I ignored where I needed to be and instead slept away my life.
It’s time…time to find myself, and to love ME again.
I charged up my camera, took a nice hot shower ALL by myself without kids needing me, and I set out for a day on the river. Just me, some snacks, and my camera.
And wow…what did I find.
This beautiful baby owl…
And so much more.
|My favorite trail, thankfully above water at this point
Why on earth did I want to close my eyes, to THIS?
My day ended to a beautiful run to tribute the Boston Marathon. I was in the presence of Boston Marathoners, and I felt like a little kid on Hollywood boulevard. These runners are MY hero’s…
I ran a simple 2.62 miles…and I did it without music or distraction. I got to meet Karen from “Trading in my Heels” and she is such a light that I couldn’t help but to smile.
I found a part of ME again today, through this tragedy, and through some pretty amazing people.