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Pre-race jitters

I’m not sure where the week truly went…I keep seeing posts for the race this weekend and realize I am mentally JACKED UP, and wondering if I can actually pull it together. 
See, once I am running, and at a comfortable pace-I just run-but only as long as I am mentally ready. 

Today…well…I’m not. 
And I have a 20 mile race THIS Sunday…GAH…I have to work Saturday, so hoping I can find time to rest. 

I am struggling to be honest.  And not with my mileage, more so the rest of the things this training schedule can do to a person.  Between that, and well, LIFE, I feel so discombobulated.  I wanted to run tonight to clear my head…I knew I NEEDED IT…

But after quite the day at work, and then getting a text from my eldest at 3:50 p.m. saying she missed the bus, I realized my night may be challenging.  I left work around 4:10, and picked up my youngest from day care.  I walked in trying to figure out what all the commotion was about, and well, yeah…it was MY daughter that caused the fuss.  She decided to come inside from the playground and lock herself IN side the school, of course locking all the teachers outside.  BAH.  Really???

So needless to say, my run didn’t happen.  We grabbed some dinner and both my wonderful children were on lock down from the day’s happenings and added attitudes.  Oh yeah, and my husband is away again for the next 4 days. 

I thought hey, I will immerse myself in cleaning because THAT always clears my mind, but sadly I don’t even want to clean.  I settled for tacking laundry, and am now listening to oldies trying to regroup. 

I’m still awaiting appointments for a mammogram and an ultrasound, so that I suppose isn’t helping my nerves…

And then my eldest snapped at me tonight, and instead of being a Mom and even keel, I snapped back.  Gah.  Mom of the year award NOT won tonight. 

So with that, Lord I ask you for patience, strength, and focus to make each day count.  I ask this, because our time is too short here on earth to waste it with unhappy or negative feelings.  Thank goodness for those who have my back, give me support, and are my sounding boards. 

Tomorrow truly is, a new day. 

❤ Chelle
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12 thoughts on “Pre-race jitters

  1. Let it all out on the course! 😉 You will do AWESOME – I know that a runners mind is strong – not jacked. Find your rhythm and go with it. Love your spirit and dedication, keep it up. Now would you just RUN! Clear your mind and relax. ❤ to you.

  2. Being a good mom is a the totality of parenting, not the isolated less ideal mom moments…deep breaths. Savor that run with Bobbi! I hear you on the missed run, though. Ended up having to take my youngest to soccer, then he guilted me into staying and watching practice instead of running during. Ate too late to get to run before 10:30, and I NEED to go to bed. Guess we'll call this whole week taper for Saturday's obstacle race. 🙂

  3. ok I feel like I don't know the whole story from your post..so I am going to reply with recent happening with V and meV was super tired, I asked him to go brush his teeth before bed, (we had been playing a board game on the floor) and he got up and kicked me. So I slapped his leg. Not hard, but to let him know he can't kick me. The he attempted to slap me, so smacked his arm, then he try to kick me..etc. Kids will act out, just remember you are the adult. ((hugs))

  4. OMG…how was the race today???? I love your new blog cover pic btw…you look so very intense and strong ;)I am all with you about the kids…I find myself co mimg down to their level more so than not…and as a teacher shouldn't I know better? It gets me NOWHERE int he end…om;y sad and regretful! Puberty has been a rough one for me…I am hoping that is the culprit and it will soon pass……………becasue it would NEVER be my hormones!!! ;)Can't even in my wildest dreams imagine a 20 miler…i'll take 1 or 2 at best for now…so, are you up for happy hour @ 5 on Tuesday?? come on…it will be fun!

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