Today I find myself at a loss for words.  I woke up, and saw the post from ‘Muscle Mom’ highlighting me as the “Muscle Mom” of the week.  Her page can be found here:!/MuscleMom1

My life: in a photo can be found here:

I thought, FINALLY, a good day after a couple rough weeks.  I went to work with a smile, despite being tired, yet as the day unfolded I heard the tragic news of a kindergarten class that was gunned down. 

I was beside myself with emotion.  I wanted nothing more than to LEAVE work and go get my girls.  Yet this of course couldn’t happen.  I watched the clock. I worked as hard as possible to keep my mind at bay. 

Yet I found myself running to my Jeep so I could get to my girls.  I tried keeping my mind off the tragedy yet it was broadcasted on every radio station.  I tried driving in silence for the hour it takes me to get home, yet I needed a distraction.  I listened to talk radio, and sobbed…for I can’t fathom anything worse than losing a child.  I know the loss to a point having several miscarriages.  Yet to not be able to hug the children I have raised for the last 13/6 years is unimaginable to me. 

I got to Sophia’s daycare and literally RAN inside…NEEDING to feel her arms wrap around me.  NEEDING to see her face light up when I walk in the door.  Once home, I called for my oldest, nearly begging for a hug that I refused to let go…”Are you ok, Mommy?”  No…Yes…I don’t know. 

I then kicked myself in the rear for my petty woes.  I have a wonderful family, a home, a job, and food on my table. 

Yet I found myself so drained I couldn’t move…I got nervous for I remembered these feelings when I was at my all-time low in life.  But I simply closed my eyes for 20 minutes, regrouped, and MADE myself get up and GET moving. 

I may have not gotten my normal Friday night chores done tonight…nope…but I relaxed with my family, and am praying for some sleep. 

I have extra prayers tonight for the lives lost, and those family members that are left behind.  I won’t worry about laundry, cleaning, or scrubbing toilets (well at least for today lol).  I will now bid you all goodnight, hug my kids one last time, and pray society gets their act together. 

4 Comments on “Friday.

  1. The tragedy yesterday really put my silly life in to perspective. I was so shocked by what happened… I still cannot wrap my head around it! So happy you got to have an evening with your family 🙂


  2. Your feelings echo my own…I found myself at a loss, and still today..I am at a loss. May we all remember our many blessings and pray for those that lost loved ones yesterday. I hope your weekend is GREAT! Spend time with your family. ❤


  3. You have said exactly what I have been feeling. I am still not back normal after this and I am still holding my kids tighter with tears in my eyes.


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