depression

And then it happens…

You realize almost suddenly even though it was always there, that you haven’t been walking the walk…the mantra you preach of “keep movin’ forward” is partially a front.

And that my friends, hurts…

I realized in the last few weeks that I really hated didn’t like the person I used to be.  I’ve mentioned it in recent posts, you can read about it here, that I truly work hard at NOT being the girl I once was…I want to be the woman I have worked so hard to be…

Yet the past sometimes creeps in, and in recently I have visited the “On this day” app on Facebook and was blown away by what I read.  Posts from 5-6 years ago haunted me, and I couldn’t believe what I was reading. No wonder I drove so many people away…I was down right DEPRESSING.  Yuck.  Delete…delete…and delete some more!

So this past week I’ve dug deep to redefine my goals of the future, who I want to be, and what I need to do to get there successfully.

First up…quit looking back.  I am SURELY not headed in that direction.

Secondly, one of my yearly goals was to be more present.  That being said, my husband travels and works A LOT with his job and the military, so my kids need me to step up for them, and away from time wasters. I need to be present for THEM, because I am essentially a single parent from here on out and I need to embrace that vs. hold anger and resentment.

So today, I started fresh by celebrating National Running Day by running just over a mile with my youngest, and making me and my daughters a yummy salad since my husband is going working late.

One of my favorite pics from 2013, my youngest daughter running me in to the finish!
One of my favorite pics from 2013, my youngest daughter running me in to the finish!
Love!
Love!
Romaine lettuce, shredded broccoli, Kalamata olives, cherry tomatoes, feta cheese and shrimp!
Romaine lettuce, shredded broccoli, Kalamata olives, cherry tomatoes, feta cheese and shrimp!

Lastly, I need to quit doubting myself, and beating myself up over things I can’t control.

It’s time to move forward, y’all!!!  I’m back in the saddle!!

How do you battle past demons?  Did you run today?  What are your favorite salad toppings?

❤ Michelle