I have dreamed for this goal for longer than I can recall…
I have worked for this set goal for 10 months…
And now momentary freak out has occurred. I am watching the weather. I am watching the clock. I am setting and re-setting out my gear. I am doubting myself. Again. I am proud of myself. I am wondering if my play list is good enough. Did I charge my Garmin? Where did I put my jellys…am I packing enough Shot Bloks? Did I remember my salt tabs…oh shit, don’t forget my gum-I can’t run without gum. Will it be too cold? Do I wear capri’s under my skirt? Have I eaten ok this week? Am I too bloated? Will my darn KNEE hold out? Is that a new pain I feel in my shin? Shit, where are my shoes. Should I wear my new knee brace or go with the old ratty one…Wait, what do I do if my knee gives out? Can I RUN 26.2 miles? I’ve only gone 20 miles twice…Can I mentally pull this rabbit out of my hat? What if my stomach blows…what if my knee blows…what if my IT band screams. BAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Ok…SO in my momentary freak out mode, unable to load new music, unable to concentrate, and near tears I texted Kyla. We may not be running this entire race together but we’ve trained for quite a few months together and plan on starting together. She has been my rock, my smile, and my saving grace. So I sent her a text tonight during the above said freak out, and she reminded me…BREATHE…stop…SMILE…and enjoy all of the efforts we put in to our training.
This isn’t supposed to feel good (totally) physically. Shit is going to hurt. But in the end the mental triumph TRUMPS all that pain.
I am truly amazed by the unending support of people. People I know well, people I barely know, and people I have never physically met.
Crap…where are my shoes…J