Ever had that moment where you looked in the mirror and you didn’t recognize yourself? Ok, maybe not literally for me personally as I haven’t changed a whole lot over the last couple decades (as long as you don’t count the wrinkles) as far as personal appearance. I am a few lbs. heavier, my hair is quite a bit thinner, but the rest of me is quite similar to the “me of my 20’s” in regards to physical appearance for the most part.
Yet the way I act on a daily basis is quite different. The once fun, free spirited, strong willed, independent woman that was ballsy enough to leave home at the age of 18 to join the Air Force, isn’t who she once was anymore. After watching some home videos from when my husband I first met in the early 2000’s I was a little saddened. Sure, I get it…we all grow up, have careers, become parents (for some) and have to do a lot more adulting than we’d like on a day to day basis. But does that mean we have to stop being fun? Lose our spirits? Lose ourselves? Gosh, I had always hoped not…
I guess it just sort of happens, though. And that’s normal, right? I’ve put my dreams on hold because my family is more important right now, but in doing so I think I lost a bit of me if that makes sense. I’ve become naggy, and grumpy, and up-tight and even a little angry at times, and I don’t like it at all. While I’ve always been some what of an “old soul” I was also always FUN and free spirited all while balancing my constant need to plan and control all the things in life. I need to find that fun me again. Cuz I’m sure not getting any younger and I’d hate to waste my life being a grump.
I started running again last week. I’ve managed to run 2 times both last week and this week and that has already helped lift my spirits a little. Granted, they were only 2 miles, but miles are miles, right?!? I think the dark, cold, dreary weather has gotten to me as well, which isn’t helping in regards to lightening up this post, LOL. I mean, come on Mother Nature….we’re OVER the cold and rain! Enough already.
My gut has told me 2017 is going to be my year for change, and I am sticking with that mantra. I’m still waiting to hear back about changes at work, but regardless I know things will work out as they should. Even if the changes are small, they’ll be steps forward in to finding myself again.
Ever catch yourself in shock of how quickly life can pass you by? Am I having a mid-life crisis or is it too early for that?
That was a fitting question seeing I typed this up last night, yet forgot to submit. Anyone else for memory loss?