My life: in a photo can be found here:
I thought, FINALLY, a good day after a couple rough weeks. I went to work with a smile, despite being tired, yet as the day unfolded I heard the tragic news of a kindergarten class that was gunned down.
I was beside myself with emotion. I wanted nothing more than to LEAVE work and go get my girls. Yet this of course couldn’t happen. I watched the clock. I worked as hard as possible to keep my mind at bay.
Yet I found myself running to my Jeep so I could get to my girls. I tried keeping my mind off the tragedy yet it was broadcasted on every radio station. I tried driving in silence for the hour it takes me to get home, yet I needed a distraction. I listened to talk radio, and sobbed…for I can’t fathom anything worse than losing a child. I know the loss to a point having several miscarriages. Yet to not be able to hug the children I have raised for the last 13/6 years is unimaginable to me.
I got to Sophia’s daycare and literally RAN inside…NEEDING to feel her arms wrap around me. NEEDING to see her face light up when I walk in the door. Once home, I called for my oldest, nearly begging for a hug that I refused to let go…”Are you ok, Mommy?” No…Yes…I don’t know.
I then kicked myself in the rear for my petty woes. I have a wonderful family, a home, a job, and food on my table.
Yet I found myself so drained I couldn’t move…I got nervous for I remembered these feelings when I was at my all-time low in life. But I simply closed my eyes for 20 minutes, regrouped, and MADE myself get up and GET moving.
I may have not gotten my normal Friday night chores done tonight…nope…but I relaxed with my family, and am praying for some sleep.
I have extra prayers tonight for the lives lost, and those family members that are left behind. I won’t worry about laundry, cleaning, or scrubbing toilets (well at least for today lol). I will now bid you all goodnight, hug my kids one last time, and pray society gets their act together.